Last night, I guess some of you know, I was in a bad state. I cut very intensely, it involved a lot of blood and I got totally drunk (I never drink at all, actually). If it wasnt for a couple of people from here I wouldve tried to od too. What I mean to say in this post is.. something weird and scary happened this morning.. Im sure that sadly, a lot of yous here know the feeling of receiving bad news, such as losing somebody you love, having an illness, anything like that that can really break you inside. When I woke up this morning, my heart sank because I realized that I was still alive. I have been suicidal for a while now so obviously been wantin to die but this sadness that accompanied me all day now since I woke up. I can feel myself gettin to another level. And I wish I hadnt survived last night. Im sorry.