dissapear

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by chloel90, Feb 11, 2011.

  1. chloel90

    chloel90 New Member

    I just dont know what to do anymore.
    I'm 20 and my 21st birthday is on monday. I got into trouble with the law exactly 3 weeks ago. I live with my parents and they are making me crazy. One minute they love me and call me honey and baby and the next minute the look at me as if I'm a disease and I just dont know what to do anymore. I keep on thinking that if they can do this then they wont mind it if im no longer here which is what i've been contemplating the last 3 weeks.
    I feel as though this is never going to stop. they are never going to love me the way that they did and they are never going to move past it and make me feel like their daughter.
    I really just cant deal with it anymore. I've done nothing but tiptoe around the last 3 weeks barely speaking and even leaving the house other than to go to school. I feel like I'm just past the point of no return. Every night I sleep for 1 hour then am woken up by nightmares or just restlessness. Im sleep deprived im depressed and i just wish that they could notice what im going through.
    I just feel like theres no other way to feel better than to just dissapear.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    We all do things we wish would not have done...it is what we learn from these things and how we forgive ourselves that counts...I am sure your parents would not want you to disappear...they were probably hurt by the situation...have you spoken about this to them?
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu sometimes you just have to spell it out for them okay They can't read minds and they are so busy they sometimes just don't see. You need to be upfront with them about what it is your thinking of doing and you need for them to get you some help hugs
     
  4. chloel90

    chloel90 New Member

    I know they would miss me but I have spoken to them SO many times about it since this happened including tonight which went nowhere again.
    They keep on saying that I am not affected by it which is completely not true. I know they might be hurt and disappointed but whatever they're feeling I can assure you that I am feeling it one hundred times worse if not more and I've told them this multiple times. I'm just so tired of it. The fighting, the yelling, the crying, the depression I just feel so overwhelmed and dont want to deal with it anymore
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I know that feeling of wanting to give up to dissappear it is a very hard feeling a very painful feeling to deal with but you just have to okay. You have to make some time in that day just for YOU okay You have to get away for even just 10 minutes to have time alone to have a cup of tea so you can breath some Talking here helps reaching out to people who do listen who do care Please call crisis even when you are so low they do care and they talk to you and they help you see things in a different way. I hope today you can find some time just for you hugs