distressed

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Feb 18, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    so have been having a rough time this past year approximately with things in personal life, work etc. finally went to t at the end of 2010. now on meds, thought i was doing better. but now its like im back at the beginning again. ugh.

    do others experience these up and down and sideways (!) feelings and emotions and thoughts?

    am becoming frustrated with my own inability to cope, to manage better, to feel better. im about at my breaking point i feel.

    so if i dont do anything about it because i dont know what to do, am i just at fault for accepting myself and accepting my lot?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Call your doctor okay maybe an increase in meds a bit may be necessary Maybe get a consult for therapy as well but let your doctor know you have started to sprial downwards again so something can be done hugs
     
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    thanks total eclipse -

    was in therapy yesterday, trying to get some additional apts lined up for the next couple of weeks. have already up'd the meds....

    need a punching bag & a bottle of vino!
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    sometimes i wish i had a punching bag too can't touch the vino though i am glad to hear you got in for some help though way to go
     
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    thanks total eclipse -

    am waiting to hear if i can get in yet.


    just kinda hanging here to keep my mind occupied and to prevent panic setting in etc.
     
  6. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Morning,

    Sorry to hear that your down, yes know all about the ups and downs, happens ALOT.

    Kinda in the downs myself today, I think what triggered it was being alone last night. Right now your under alot of stress and trying to even your emotions out, it will get better, and you will start to notice and try to avoid what triggers you.

    Keep working on getting more appts, dont just give up on yourself, if you do nothing will change.
     
  7. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    thanks.

    if i give up on life, i will have no triggers. easy as that.

    take care.
     
  8. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Im sorry you feel that way, please if you feel in danger of hurting yourself, please go to the hospital.
     
  9. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    how can i do that when i have someone relying on me? i have no options, trapped, ensnared.

    like i said earlier i think i just need to get wasted today, am completely sick of all of this. i have no choices, no one that knows but thats my own fault completely so why should i feel upset with them when they dont know. and as im always in control and so visibly strong to others why let them see me weak? all that weakness got me before was abuse.
     
  10. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    actually, why dont i just go away for a while. check out of life completely, lock myself up somewhere for a bit. maybe the space will give me the peace i wish to attain, or maybe itll help to solidify my feelings of anger, pain, uselessness etc. and give me the courage to deal with things like my mind is thinking
     
  11. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    You talk of being trapped, but its a trap of your own making.
    Get out of it and destroy it.
    Loved ones will always care for you, so if you choose to use them as a way of believing your trapped, then its yourself that you have ensnared not them.
    You so need that space, work on the small problems, have some me times.
    Look at yourself, be kind to that person, and to others.
    You can do no more.
    Rewards? endless.totally
    Good luck.
     
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you talk like i talk you have so many destorted thoughts in your mind You are not trapped okay there are options either then going into hospital you can go to group therapy through day or individual therapy as i am doing but you need help and Yes having control means so much to us yes we have control but loosing it when you are alone that will be no good either. You need help to keep that control to keep you safe with your family I am sorry i know you feel trapped but your doctor can help you find resources that will not take away the control you are looking to keep for yourself. hugs
     
  13. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    how can i walk away from someone who will likely die from disease in the coming months ? how could i let them go through that alone?

    perhaps im more stupid than i realized then, its clearly my own doing. just wonderful, another thing to add to the list.
     
  14. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    i said nothing of walking away, but much of not seeing it as a trap.
    stay safe, please, hugs.
     
  15. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    total eclipse - me, myself & I

    i think i need to be quiet. i dont want to upset anyone. i am sorry, i apologize.

    i just needed someone to talk to, to avoid going places in mind that i rather not go.

    i thank you both
     
  16. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    U are not upsetting me i hope you can find that quiet place in your mind where you can find some peace hugs to you
     
  17. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    thanks total eclipse

    am getting angry, am panicky like i said. just dont want to get angry and say stupid stuff.
     
  18. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    and im not upset either, i wish i could wave a magic wand and make it better for you!
     
  19. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    thanks me, myself & I

    am just overly sensitive and upset and dont wish to upset folks who are reaching out to me, when i really need it.

    just the company is good, thanks, and is helping to remain a little more focused.
     
  20. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    ok, hours later its time to call in for support i think. wish me luck.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.