Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by beginagain, May 16, 2013.

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  1. beginagain

    beginagain New Member

    This is my first time on this forum or any for that matter. I went looking for help because I am just having a horrible time getting over my husband of 20+ years leaving me and starting a new life. I was very happy and completely blindsided. I have been an at home mother all this time and now have to start from scratch. I know that so many people have it worse than me, but I can barely seem to get out of bed everyday. Nobody in my life really wants to hear this from me. They just want to hear that I'm doing great. It's exhausting to put on a show so I stay home. I feel lost and lonely and don't understand how this all happened.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi beginagain you are grieving hun a loss of a life you had I am so sorry you are so sad. Can you get some professional help hun someone that can help you to move forward a therapist a councilor someone that will want to hear you and help you hun hugs
  3. beginagain

    beginagain New Member

    I probably could. Money is an issue but I'm sure I could find a way. It's the making the effort that is just so hard. That's why I joined. Baby steps.
  4. SadBk

    SadBk Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can't get over my boyfriend dumping me after only a small FRACTION of the time you were with with your husband, so I'm sure it's much much tougher on you than me. Two things in your post really resonated with me: being so happy that you were blindsided by his decision, and that nobody wants to hear anything from you except how great you're doing. If you like to read, I recommend The Breakup Bible by Rachel Sussman. I couldn't do everything she suggested but some of the initial things about coping with the shock helped me, and I was interested in reading the stories of others in a similar boat. I hope things get better for you. *hugs*
  5. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Small steps count- it will not all change overnight regardless of what you do so try to get some ideas in your mind and schedule "do by dates" - small things. The you do not need to try to do all at once and maybe will not be so hard on yourself the days that doing anything at all is so hard. Many of the things you decide on can change over time so be flexible and if your priorities change then change your goals for doing things.

    I am very sorry you find yourself in this position but hope you can come to see it as an opportunity for yourself as well even if time and distance is needed for that to happen. Please keep talking to us some.

    Take Care and Be Safe

  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. Congratulations for having the courage and wisdom to begin talking about how you're feeling. Divorce is a major loss - so people go through a grieving process.

    NYJmpMaster is right about small steps. They all count. :) Many towns and cities offer divorce support groups where members share experiences, feelings, "tips" on how to deal/cope with divorce issues. They can also be nice because you might make new friends there and not feel so alone with the hard things.

    Again, it took courage to open up here - I'm glad you did! Looking forward to seeing more of you around on the forums! :)
  7. beginagain

    beginagain New Member

    Thanks for all the feedback. It helps, and I love to read so I will look for the book you suggested. I have also thought about support groups as well. I might look some up before to long, not quite ready yet.
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