spending yet ANOTHER night in tears but tonight they're falling harder and faster than usual. i cant cope anymore. everything is drowning me and i cant find a way to get out. why does everyone hate me? what have i done???? not even my own boyfriend wants to be near me. ''ill be out for an hour'' 4 hours later and ur off into town with goodness know how many drinks down ur neck and girls wrapped around you. surely i deserve more? why cant anyone want to just look after me and give me a hug and let me know im safe. why am i constantly fighting not to cut. not to purge. not to eat. not to f*cking think. i seriously cant live like this. who would want to feel this way every day??? i dont feel special. i dont feel loved. who would love a fat u*ly cow like me. i cant even breathe right now im crying too much. im so fed up of tears that i cant stop. im just a f*cking joke. a joke that needs to end. please please someone be here for me. anyone. im reaching out just for someone to understand. oh gosh i cant COPE!""""!!!!!!!!!!!