Do any of you guys have family?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Canti, Apr 25, 2008.

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  1. Canti

    Canti Guest

    K so, i have a family and i dont want to hurt them by attempting/commiting suicide. I wish i didnt have any ties so i could try but they are all holding me back. I love my family very much and wouldnt want to put them through that, but then i think i´d be dead so i wouldnt experiance their hurt but then i think i know they hurt and its my fault.

    Anyway, what i came to ask was do any of you who´ve atempted have families? if you do how do you cut that tie (maybe the tie is already broken for some)?

    Ive been toying with the idea of growing up abit, moving to a different country on my own and start a huge fight between the family so they all hate me and never want to talk to me again. Then i would be tie free and can atempt at my own will.
  2. jofo3511

    jofo3511 Member

    Yes I do have family. 4 living children and one who died by suicide. My 4 kids are the ones who have kept me together these past 6 years.

    quote "Ive been toying with the idea of growing up abit, moving to a different country on my own and start a huge fight between the family so they all hate me and never want to talk to me again. Then i would be tie free and can atempt at my own will".

    I'm sure your family loves you as much as you love them. Your idea isn't going to work. You may be able to make them mad but never enough to break those ties.

    I hope you change your mind.
  3. Canti

    Canti Guest

    Ive been thinking about ODing recently and to stop myself ive thought about my family but the more i think about them the more i feel like i dont care. Its like the light that they are in my life is fading. I know in my heart that its the wrong thing to do for my familys sake but i find myself not caring anyway.

    Im a family person and i havnt seen my mom and bro for a good couple of months. Im currently living with my sister but because shes been in a different country for so long i dont feel the same connection. I dont want to hug her when i´d love nothing more than to hug my brother and mom.

    I feel like my love toards my family is becoming less and less as i live away from them. Ive asked myself if i´d care if they were to die. I dont think i would care a much as id like to because i shut my feelings off, i tell myself to get on with it even though i can feel it hurting inside.

    When i go back home to my mom and brother im sure this feeling isnt going to change. Ive become so numb and cold, i think this feeling is going to follow me back home.

    Sorry this post is abit unorganised.
  4. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    i have family, but i dont think that they care that much about me
    i mean my mom threatened to put me in a mental home when she found out that i cut.
    shes even told me that she doesnt care.

    im pressured to do suicide
    my grandma did it in our gurauge.
    when i was in kindgergarden
    so i guess im pressured in that way
    i cut because of that,,,but i dont know
    i have thought about not dying for
    my family, but some days its just
    too tempting.
  5. mango_goose

    mango_goose Active Member

    When i was suicidal all the time i didnt really have ties to my family.... I still dont have ties to my parents or brother... there more of a hassle than anything, Probably because its always been me looking after them, Instead of the normal parents looking after the child...

    Now i have my own family, Me bein the mum... Now life is soo special... I have a beautiful 1 month old daughter I have a GREAT bf.... I wouldnt want to do anything that hurts them.... I wont ven drink alcohol in case i do something stupid or have a seizure
  6. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I have a husband and a young son. I should of had six children but lost the pregnancies early on..I also have a mother and a step father..My Dad, My Grandma, My Aunt Vonnie, My Uncle Verner and his wife, and a family friend who I look upon like family. I will tell you like I told someone else here in another post..I called my mom up and I told her that I wanted to die. She asked me why and I told her that I thought everyone would be better off without me, everyone being my family.. She replied to me 'So..I would be better off without my daugther. Your grandma would be better off without her granddaughter, your son would be better off without his mother..I dont think so'...I thought back on life..I was practically dead when I was born. My mom was dieing as well. They took me two months early so she would live. They had a hellicopter on standby because they honestly didnt think I would servive the night..I am 22 now.. My real father took off when my mom was three months pregnant- she could of killed me when she found out she was going to be alone..She could of hated me for almost killing her when I was still inside her - but she didnt. She wanted me more then she wanted anything in her life. Sure I caused her a lot of greif and pain but she dished out her fair share too...Im not a perfect wife or mother. I love my child more then I love anything (even myself)..I would gladly lay down and die for that child if I needed to..Anyways..The point Im trying to get at (which is probably not so well backed up here) is - my family needs me just as much as I need them... They would be hurt if I were gone..Im sure your family would feel the same..You dont want to break the ties you have with them. What if you change your mind and want to live..You will have broken their hearts..Is it worth it?
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You have people who love you unconditionally, so no matter what they would always be hurting if you ever took your own life.
  8. RosiePosie

    RosiePosie Member

    I have a severely loving, caring mother. She knows just how miserable I am, and I shove so much of my pain onto her. Yet she takes it and she fights for me.
    I also have a grandmother that prefers to be in the dark,
    but loves no one more then she loves me.

    There are friends I would hurt,
    an old lover I would hate to pain as well,
    but those are basically the main reasons why I'm staying here.
    I get very apathetic towards how they feel, too though as I can not bare to be here and it angers me that I am still here because of them.
    Even though I cherish, appreciate, and adore them.
  9. nedflanders

    nedflanders Well-Known Member

    I just try to be as unreliable and mercurial a father as possible. The kids will be relieved by my death.
  10. ava.

    ava. Well-Known Member

    I wish I didn't have my family. Then I could do it. I couldn't do that to them. I'm stuck. I'd feel terrible if I ODed and ended up in hospital, then I'd have to face them.
  11. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    I have family which is one of the reasons I don't do it. And probably good that I have family because I know someday I'll get past this.
    Love your avatar by the way :smile:
  12. Cas

    Cas Well-Known Member

    I have a son who's passed, and a husband in the throes of grief and probably leaving me.

    Besides them, I have an aunt I can rely on, mum, and another aunt. Oh, and a friend who I have started to look upon like family.
  13. stormfront

    stormfront Member

    I have kids. I used to think they'd be better off without me, this way my wife could find someone who is stronger emotionally than me, that they'd eventually forget about me and enjoy their new life. I know now that simply isn't true. As shitty as my dad was, I still wouldn't trade him for anyone in the world.

    I got to thinking one day when my one child was extremely sick and in the hospital, how we as parents would do anything to take that pain for them. How we'd do anything not to see them in pain. Then I got to thinking about my own deep, dark episodes - why is it that I can say I would take any kind of pain for them, but this blackness seems to overwhelm me? I sometimes imagine my own kid having these feelings, then they're shifted to me, because there is no way in HELL I'd want them to know what this awful dull lack of emotional feeling is like. That seems to put it in perspective for me, that I will go through this no matter how painful it is, as long as they don't have to experience it. Because if I suicide, they will certainly know what this feeling is like. And I will do my damnest to make sure they won't be in that black pit of despair.
  14. Stick

    Stick Member

    I am estranged from alll of my family. 2 brother, 2 sisters, a daughter, SIL, and 2 grandchildren. Some of them chose to keep me out of their lives, I chose to walk away from others.

    It will be easy this time to just die and have no guilt.

    If you have family that loves you, then hang on.
  15. notmyrealname

    notmyrealname Well-Known Member

    I've got a small family, mother, father, sister and that's it. Granted father is becoming more and more estranged and is no longer a real part of my life. The sister doesn't know how to interact with me anymore(or ever did) because of difficulties when we were younger. Right now mom is what's keeping me around but I know eventually it won't be enough.
  16. malenka

    malenka Member

    I have posted in welcome section. I am the family of suicide victim.
    I would like to say to Stick, even tho you feel you are not close to your family you will still wreck their lifes. A death in the family is a death in the family. Blood is not water. All fights and arguments and sush things are insignificant when someone is gone, all is left is a great loss, pain, grief, anger, emptiness, guilt. For death is so FINAL, and the person you had your misunderstandings with is gone, and the even smallest hope of making a mense sometimes in future disapears, just like that.

    I am a witness to what suicide can do. An old lady who's daugther killed herself, for the very first time sought comfort in her estranged husband of 15 years. Their first born gone, on her terms, left the two old parents in bits, they forgot all their hate, to mourn their child, which none of them invested care in the last 15 years. So when she thought they didn't care, her death won't matter, how wrong she was?
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