Do bad things ever happen to bad people?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Ldub20, Jan 12, 2014.

  1. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Bad people is subjective, but everyone can agree that hypocritical, inconsiderate, condescending, stuck-up jerks are bad people. If you don't think of them as bad people and still like them in spite of shamelessly having those traits, I'd be at a loss for words. Moving on, many say those are the kind of people that never struggle socially and have people reject them for dates and such. They say their confidence helps them get whatever they desire and aspire to have. Nobody says no when they exhibit what others deem confidence (in reality, egotism). It is always the humble, nice people that life shits on. If I exhibited confidence, would more people like me? Or would it take more than confidence, would it take being a bad boy/jerk to make people notice me? Does anyone agree with this?

    P.S. If anyone feels the need to remove this thread can you give me a reason? I don't know if I've posted this before and plus, this thread ain't hurting anybody!
  2. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    bad things happen to everyone... most abusers become abusers because they were abused themselves, for example. the difference is, when bad things happen to bad people, they get really angry and take it out on others....
  3. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    I hope so. The reason I posted this was because too many people were telling me jerks never struggle socially.
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Dear Ldub20'

    I am in agreement. All the good people get dumped in society, but the bad people get away with everything. The comments by Demuredawn are correct. Every person thinks life is not fair but it's down to your environment and interaction with others. My thoughts, we try to learn from our life mistakes and with hindsight I keep tripping over and causing trouble. It's difficult when your a nice person and others take advantage of your kindness.

    Please take care. I hope this post helps.
  5. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    that becomes the common belief of someone that is in the throws of emotional pain... too often it is people that are not bad that are emotionally affected to a major degree, and thus when they look around, all they can see is the negativity in the world and how it appears that greed, lust, and selfishness ulitimately win out... i believe these 3 things are at the core of all of us, and its a constant struggle we each have to fight against those things.... some people give up the fight, most people win sometimes and lose other times...

    hope that kind of explains my point of view better
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Dear Demuredawn,

    I'm in total agreement with your last post. True words. Respect.
  7. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    thank you
  8. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    So, does anyone who responded agree that a 5'2", 360-lb, ugly-ass, broke-ass CONFIDENT guy's (where he gets his confidence I don't know) got a better chance than a humble, nice guy of a having people flock to him? Would he struggle socially even with his size, appearance, and lack of income? Would all of the girls that've rejected me reject that kind of guy if he exhibited confidence? Would some of them even dump their boyfriends to date a confident guy with that size, appearance, and lack of income? Maybe people like that don't exist but believe me, there ARE good-looking, tall guys, maybe some who make LOADS of money, that have people shun them, ignore them, reject them, and ostracize them while not being able to have a girlfriend. That's what social-killing diseases can do to you! The only purpose I've got is to better my social life. If I can't do that, if I can't feel a sense of belonging, if I can't make my loneliness go away, life is not for me. There ISN'T more to life than bettering these things so don't expect me to be content with giving up and having disappointment befall me socially because of my disorder.

    To add: the 5'2", 360-lb, ugly-ass, broke-ass guy comes across as confidence because he's hypocritical, inconsiderate, condescending, and stuck-up; people say those kind of people, regardless of income and appearance, NEVER struggle socially or have people reject them, making me think that society favors them

    Dear mods: please don't delete this post. This isn't a repeat post. I'd like people to answer if they can. It ain't hurting anyone either.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 13, 2014
  9. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    All people have bad things happen to them and with great frequency. That is the nature of life. What you are looking at and describing is the different ways people cope or react to bad things. You call it arrogance and confidence (I will skip the irony of belittling and judging somebody for being arrogant and judgmental as you sit in judgement of them and presume you actually know them and presume that they are worth less based on income or weight or height) .
    It hurts when somebody rejects you - period. For everybody. Some respond to being rejected for a drink or dance at a club by leaving the club, some respond by sitting in a corner and having some liquid courage to get up nerve to try again, and some respond by asking 12 other girls to dance or for a drink in a false sense of Bravado to show the first she was wrong. The one the reacts (still reacting out of pain over the first rejection) by asking 12 other women is going to have more likelihood of actually dancing with a girl or sitting down to have a drink with some girls at some point. It is like the lottery - if you buy enough scratch-off tickets eventually you are going to win $5. Then people will call them a player. The fact is the people who react like that eventually learn more social skills BECAUSE they talk to lots and lots of people. They learn what does and does not work best and to read small signs better. If they talk to 12 girls a night and the "lonely humble guy" talks to 12 a year then yes, they will have a better chance of making at least superficial bonds.

    I might propose the true arrogance is in thinking you should have the same results talking to far fewer people. That you might think nearly all should like you and they should not have a girlfriend or date because they tried 150 times and you tried a few.
    That might be defined like -
    ar·ro·gance noun \ˈer-ə-gən(t)s, ˈa-rə-\
    1: an insulting way of thinking or behaving that comes from believing that you are better, smarter, or more important than other people

    Some might think that your judgement of those others you do not even know and admittedly do not like is arrogance.

    con·ceit·ed adjective \-ˈsē-təd\
    1: having or showing too much pride in your own worth or goodness
    2: having or showing an excessively high opinion of oneself or disdain for others

    Some might also believe that hatred and disdain for others you do not know at all as a person may come across as conceit based on that definition.

    You react to rejection in one way, and others react to it differently. It does not mean more or less to one person or the other. It is certainly more difficult to "adapt" for some people than for others. And some people choose not to adapt or to try to adapt and instead want to find somebody that is compatible enough without any change or concession on their part at all. It is not right or wrong, it is simply different approaches that different people have learned. You can read on these boards hundreds of posts of lonely people that cannot find friends or a relationship at all , and hundreds more by peopel that say everybody looks and thinks they have a perfect life with lots of friends and girlfriends and popular - and yet they are all here on the suicide forum because they are not happy.

    Try to spend more time looking for ways to find your happiness and stop hating others that you do not even know and cannot change and you would be taking a big step towards happiness. Hating, belittling, and standing in judgement of others at the same time as you claim that is why you hate them because they are "conceited and arrogant and judgmental" has not helped you in years of doing it and i doubt it will be of great benefit in the near future either. If they truly are arrogant and conceited the worst thing you could do to them is to ignore them - and that is what you should strive to do - ignore them as having no value to you and do what you need to do regardless of them to find your own happiness.
  10. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    Bad things happen to people regardless if their good or bad as life doesn't give a shit either way.

    As for this idea of confidence equaling narcissism/egotism... Sure there are people who mistake arrogance for such but honestly I can't help but see that thinking this as nothing more than thinly disguised resentment and bitterness towards those who can do something that said people complaining can't.
  11. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Ian, that's probably true. I thinks that's what TRIGGERS this hatred and bitterness.
  12. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Have no idea what you guys are really saying today for bad people. Everyone got their live to live by the cards dealt to them. Some judge me as a jerk just because I do not bother to mingle or talk small talk to anybody and I got my own entertainment. Dont need others.