Ever since I was i was young I felt like I was different. I didn't understand other people very well. They didn't understand me. I've never fit in with normal people. If i had some thing I was good at it wouldn't bother me nearly as much. I've had enough of this horrible world. It's fucking miserable, more bad then good happens every day. and then you can say that bad and good are just relative concepts blah blah blah it argument just goes in circles and the world never changes. Why am I so miserable? Why am I so empathetic? It bothers me so much seeing all the hurt in the world. You can try to justify or rationalize it. Like saying we need to hurt to evolve, or to appreciate the next life when we go to it. Well that just doesn't make any sense to me. Humankind has been the same for way too long don't ya think? I want my power to change it. Where is the justice in this world? None? lets make each other miserable, and claim ignorance or evolution to justify it yeaah that makes a whole lotta sense. Some retardos believe we should try a different way lawl lawl... No more fear! this is enough. I can be confused and hopeless but I won't stand being kept in a state of fear any more. Where did my heart throbbing anxiety come from, thats weird. Might be cause im too unhealthy. Diet has major affect on mental health. Don't let fear control your life. Look your demons in the eye and say I'm not scared of you. Replace fear sorrow with anger can help. Replacing negative emotions for another less painful negative emotion. Yeah and also I have this weird obession with fantasy worlds. Cause I play games read books and such. Often thinking, how we can come up with this. but we can't actually experience it, were stuck in this shit reality. What does this mean? It feel like it has a meaning but I can't figure it out. Is my subconscious telling me it is possible? any one else feel this way? So I do believe in spiritual realms and that there is more to life than modern mainstream science says there is. I was fascinated by these subjects on metaphysics that I never knew about before. So I started to look into them and it opened my mind a lot. Even quantum physics is telling us there is more to life than we can see. Some say my beliefs are just new age bull. That might be true but I don't think so, I've seen too much evidence to say this is just an atheistic world and nothing supernatural exist. I'm just waiting for some thing to happen, and it probably won't.