Do I/can I section myself?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Sookie, Jul 17, 2010.

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  1. Sookie

    Sookie New Member

    A lot is going on in my life right now. I found this website whilst googling "how to section yourself" or something similar, I am desperate. Where to begin...

    I've been "depressed" since I was 15, I am now 22. I've been on 3 different anti-depressants that have not worked. I've recently been to my doctor about hearing voices, I hear two sets - a good one (my guardian angel), and several bad ones that try to drown her out. My doctor has referred me to a specialist team who are going to try and work out if I am schizophrenic I guess. Or something else. I am beginning to hallucinate, not just people, but I smell and hear things that my partner, cannot. It scares me. This has all started materialising over the past few months. Some days I cannot go out because I know people out there are out to get me. I don't think it, I know they are, I see the way they look at me and the giggles and such, I see how fast they turn away/walk away when I look.

    Around a year ago I was really bad in terms of anti-social/reclusive behaviour. I could not leave my room (my safe zone). I couldn't even go downstairs to make a drink or any simple task like that, I had to wait until people had gone to bed (so 2, 3 in the morning) to go shower. I was with a different doctor back then who referred me to a cognitive behavioural therapist. I had about 6 months of therapy, a session per week, together we were able to get me out of my safe zone and into the local supermarket. Most of the time now this is a doddle, but I still have my bad days where I can't leave the room. I still cannot do things like get on a bus and go to town because of anxiety, voices and sheer fear.

    I was in college 2 years ago, doing a BTEC. I had to be pulled out because I started having panic attacks - I couldn't face going into college, the specialist team I am seeing now think this could've been the start of my symptoms getting as bad as they are now. I don't recall hearing voices back then, but I was so confused that I may have been. I've tried to block it all out.

    Now here's where it gets complicated and slightly unbelievable.

    Lately on the street that I live on, there has been a "war" against my partner, whom is only 18 and autistic. He gets harassed, stalked and followed by a girl with downs syndrome. Her mum's family/friends occupy 3 houses within the street, because my partner has launched a complaint, that has been ongoing for over a year, against this girl - they have taken it upon themselves to attack him, not physically but very verbally. They're now starting on me, too. It's putting a lot of stress not only on our relationship, but on me. I've been getting very suicidal thoughts again as of late, and I thought they'd gone for good.

    I was taking photos of the sky yesterday, because I love taking photos of weather, the sky went from being blue, to black, to a rainbow, to a yellowy colour, to purple within the space of about 10 minutes - the downs syndrome's mum's friend shouted at me, a very sarcastic comment, "oh look we're on camera, smile, quick smile" to which I told her to grow up. She got her kids to shout the same thing at me.

    Today, my partner's mother was in our room, stood behind the curtain near the window messing with her phone - they either think it was me, or they know it was her, and they think she/I was taking photos of the kids out on the street. They've posted rubbish on Facebook stating, without actually using our names but referring to us as "those twats" and "you know who" saying that we've been taking photos of the kids hidden behind the curtain, calling us "sick fucks", "perverts" and such. I am worried that they will start a vigilante mission against me, or my partner's mum, because you know how people are when they even hear the word "paedophile"...

    And so my story comes full circle, I am sorry it's long winded but I've tried to add everything that is relevant. My main question is, is all this enough to section myself? Am I even able to do that? I have a doctors appointment on Monday, should I talk it over with her? I just need to get out of this situation, out of the street, before I seriously hurt myself or the people who are slandering me.

    Please advise me on what to do. I am at the end of my tether here, and the thought of facing another day in this place, with them people laughing at me and trying to form some type of vigilante is seriously driving me to do something. I started drinking at 2pm today, vodka and coke, to try and drown out what was happening - and I don't usually drink!

    Thanks for reading, again sorry for it being so long.
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    First stop the drinking it will exacerbate the bad feelings and makes me down right suicidal as it does many of us please no more for now.

    These people sound like they have nothing better to do except cause you grief so I say ignore them and take pictures elsewhere till things simmer down.

    As far a facebook don't look at it...I got so frustrated with the childish bullshit on that page I dropped my is for bs in my book and causes more hurt and harm than any good it cause......don't torture yourself by reading their venomous remarks just designed to hurt you..not worth your troubles.

    How is help with the voices, smell etc coming along? That really concerns me...treatable I know but got to get you into the right docs for sure, and soon. Please stay on top of that for your own sake...and stay away from the childish drama you are better than that for sure...

    Hugs Bambi
  3. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Sorry for all your trouble. I am praying for you and hope you do too. Try to block these people out. Dont give the satisfaction of getting angry. Also you should tell some authority about them. I wish you the best. You need a rest and some peace. I think you are a good person and these others are horrible.

    Write if you like,

  4. Sookie

    Sookie New Member

    Thank you for the kind words. I know I shouldn't look at facebook, but it's like a car crash scenario, you know? You can't help but look. I would deactivate my account, but it's the only means of semi-regular contact I have with my sister and mother who live at the opposite end of the country (I can't telephone; phobia). It's not so much what they're saying that's hurting me, although I do mull over it, it's the worry of them forming a vigilante group that will cause damage to the property that I live in, or to me. >_<

    I'm only just at the beginning stages of getting help with the voices/paranoia, I wanted to get ontop of that before it started getting worse so I got help pretty quickly - they're just doing screenings at the moment to ascertain how bad my symptoms are, then they'll discuss treatments I think.

    Thank you also for the kind words :) they are very horrible people, I've never lived in a place with so many horrible people grouped up in one place.

    I do try to, and will continue to try and block them out. It just gets so hard when it's all happening on your doorstep, I don't need this.

    Again, thank you both for taking the time to reply. It's nice to know there are still people like you about, gives me a little faith in humanity.
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