Do I deserve this?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by frozenprince, Jun 1, 2010.

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  1. frozenprince

    frozenprince Active Member

    I get banned from a depression chat, for trying to talk to people.... I have no friends... no real "family".... no nothing. All I wanted was to talk to someone, is that asking so much, to not have to turn myself off every hour of every day. why do I just not matter to be anything more than a punching bag, why am I so stupid that even after a cracked skull, I go right back when he claims change... am I that desprate for someone to just say "I love you" even when I know its a lie.

    why don't I even matter, not one friend, not even an aquantance... just nothing. look at me, I come onto chat rooms and forums to have "normal" social interaction, this is my "social life" the people here are the closest thing to "friends" I have... im just pathetic, I just hate this, almost as much as I just hate myself. maybe I do deserve it, maybe my "family" was right, maybe this is just gods way of saying I deserve to suffer before I die... I don't even know anymore. I just want this all to end, Im already dead, can't this stupid body just not function anymore...
     
  2. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Were you banned from here? If it's from somewhere else, i hope you can find a new home here.
     
  3. frozenprince

    frozenprince Active Member

    it was just me surfing google, I found a site, talked for two minutes, and was booted.
     
  4. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    There must be some kind of reason no?
     
  5. frozenprince

    frozenprince Active Member

    not really, I only mentioned what is in this post, and then was abrubtly banned.
     
  6. frozenprince

    frozenprince Active Member

    great, I feel like compleate and total shi*, I nosedived off the wagon last night, straight into a pile of adderal, at least they make me feel better.

    At least it doesn't hurt anymore, nothing hurts anymore, nothing feels like anything anymore.
     
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Hi Nik....hope you can get yourself back up on the wagon again....can't help but have an occasional fall....don't beat yourself up too much...
    tomorrows another day to climb up and have another go...
     
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