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Do I deserve to live?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by aldrei_nog, Jun 6, 2010.

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  1. aldrei_nog

    aldrei_nog New Member

    I am struggling with this and can't reach a conclution.
    As a misanthrope I have lost all belief in the human kind, I have come to terms with that this world is a cesspool of disgusting people, people that lie, cheat, swindle, murder, rape and beat. It is full of ignorance, and as arrogant as I am I believe that these do not deserve to live, people deserve to die.

    I do think that I am better than the rest of this scum, at least I seem to have the intelligence to see the fault and realize that the greatness that humanity once had has diluted through the ages, the humanity today is no more than a rat compared to the old and wise, as the honourable vikings, the great greeks and those who brought something of worth into this world. No matter how many "intellectuals" are gathered at a place, there is no cure for the disease of humanity.

    I realize that the only reason I have to live is because I am selfish, ego centered and just like all other humans, greedy, I want to live because I want to go to university, I want to learn the secrets of the world, I want to read so many books and I want to visit so many places. I want to have family. But then again it is against all my principals and the more I think about the future the more I realize,
    I will never be able to learn the mysteries of the world,
    what is the point of going to university? To study, no, to get work, I don't want to be a secretary, a doctor, a teacher or whatever, I have no intention of working, only studying.
    I will never make a life for me nor potential family with no income
    I can never read all the books I want
    I will never reach the places I want to see, it's impossible
    and most of all, as much as I love children and have always dreamed of having children in the future, do I really want to bring children into this filth of a world? Will my children be just as vile as the rest?

    Last of all I realized, as a misanthrope, who hates everyone and everything, why do I continue living? I am also human...

    Do I deserve to live? Does anybody really deserve to live? No, each ans everyone of us deserves to die, and that's why I will kill myself...

    When? I don't know
    How? I'm not sure

    But I will
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Hey maybe you could stay here in this world and make a difference in some way....If we all make small changes for the better then there will be some hope for the future...and the children...
    if we all give up trying to change the world then it's gonna plummet even more down the tube..
    I hope you stay, study and change the world in some way for the better..
  3. deniston

    deniston Member

    You understand that life is not limitless, but that is no reason to question whether you deserve to live or not. Instead of viewing its limitation, why not appreciate it for what it is. In today's world we complicate life, make it as complex as possible and then over analyse every last thing. Nothing in life is trivial, it all amounts to experience which adds to our knowledge so every day we study, even if we work in a dead end job.
    If you want to continue to study, study. If you want to spend life reading books, read them. Life is yours to end, but it is also yours to live. If you have the strength to end your life, then you have the strength to change it and continue on living. No one will ever achieve everything in their life, but just achieve living and living how you want to live and no one can then say at the end you haven't lived. Life is limited, but we have limitless opportunities to live.
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