I haven't been on this forum for about 2 year and althhough that seems like a accomplishment, 2 years things really don't change. My life feels as if it gotten worse, I constantly feel as if I am being ingored, both at school and at home. I'm in several clubs at school in fact, and no matter how much I do and how much I put effort into them I just keep on getting the cold shoulder in terms of when it comes to forming ideas and just having them made into what they can become. It pisses me off to the point where their have been some times where I can't sleep at night, as I can't help but feel as if I just don't matter any more. Just falling into basically what is nothing. Stupid people have their buddies in their club, and they get rewarded while they all do nothing. Me? I get the nice treatment of being called "unrealible" by some who "dosen't care about other people's opinions" Just because he's rich, he think he's a freaking bad ass when truly he's probably the biggest dick in the school and no one likes him, in fact I've been trying to get to know him a bit better and even then he just gets all dick like. And at home not much else, my parents ingore me. I come home often just to be ingored, and it's not that there anything wrong with that, but it's just whenever they do care it's because of grades or something and they just go on and on about them, as if I haven't been trying my hardest when truth is I have. Teachers constantly do the same, only one ever expressing one bit of kindness, thinking of me as some sort of weird kid. Sometimes I just want to cry, but no tears come out. I don't want to kill myself. I just want to matter for once.