Hi, i've responded to a few posts but I never really wrote anything about my own problems... so here I'll try and put out one side of them so I can keep trying to be happier. I'm 20, this is my 5th semester in college. I always liked to build things and actually liked the science and math classes most people hated, so most people said I'd make a good engineer. I tried mechanical and didn't like it after a year, switched to chemical, I like everything about it, it teaches me things that would be useful in any job, not just science, even writing for example--some people even take this degree planning to go to law school with it. I love it, but I can't concentrate, my motivation is gone. I was always so self-motivated, but I had never put much effort into girls and suddenly one showed up, I spent enough time with her to love her, but after a long time (6 months...) figuring out what we were I guess we stopped being real friends because as much as she liked me, it wasn't the same way I liked her. It's a long story, just don't assume I'm clueless when it comes to girls... it really worked out depressingly for both of us despite never being any "more" than close friends. I felt so horrible, I failed most of my classes, even though I'd go to the library a lot most the time I'd end up crying in my hat or something, then I went to Australia hoping it would take my mind off things and help me get over it. It helped, I would say it pulled me halfway out of the ditch, which was far enough to give me hope of getting all the way out. Now it's been a year and a half, and I'm back at school, but the weight of a few hard classes, and my empty heart, is crushing me. I don't have any strong feelings for any girls, so I just go through the motions at the few parties I go to at my old friends' place... All in all I feel like an empty shell with no emotion and no motivation. When the weight of the world presses down, I can't fight it, and I'm just falling again after I fought so hard to get partway back up. If I fail any classes this time, I won't have a choice, the university will "suspend" me, and at this point, I think I might be wasting my time trying to pass anyway. I liked doing carpentry, my life was happier when I was doing that a few years ago and I learned in Australia that money is useless if you never appreciate it, but I can't believe I've worked so hard trying to get the job I really want only to give up when it would take less than 2 more years to get it. I'm tired of working to find a girl, only to always end up with nothing, and working maybe 80 hours a week at school, only to have bad grades and no money. I'm at a point where the old it'll-be-better-eventually thing just can't fill all the sadness I carry around. If you were me, would you quit school... move to somewhere new and know that if only something had gone right you'd be doing what you always wanted... maybe regret not having that last drop of energy you needed to succeed at what you knew you could do? I feel so useless. My sister does all these great things, so does the girl I fell in love with, and I used to feel like I'd do the same, but here I am wondering if I'll ever feel at least OK about myself again. My life really is empty, I've simplified it in hopes that would help me pass my classes. I don't want it to be empty anymore and it feels like soon I'll just be overwhelmed with sadness to the point of no return. I guess it's all my decision... but some of you are older or might have things to say?