do i have a problem?

Discussion in 'Let it all out...' started by Mya, Nov 27, 2006.

  1. Mya

    Mya Well-Known Member

    i cant keep a bf for more than a week and when i do there usually abusive...i get bord dwith them other wise and i cheet alot becauses i crave the physical attention from a guy...sum times im scared its any guy...not only that but i dont seem to have age limits...and that realy scares me considering im only 14, im called a slut and a whore and for some resone i like it...i like the idea of men/boys wanting me... i dont think i can stop eather and now i have a boyfriend that i really like and havent cheated on him(we have been together for about5 days) but im worryed that im going to hurt him.:sad: do i have a problem or am i just a normal 14 year old girl?
     
  2. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Please don't take any offense, um, I don't think what your doing is normal at all. This to me is a pretty bad thing your doing and I feel that its only going to bring you lots of misery and pain later on if it hasn't already. Once again, I'm sorry if I offended you.

    Do you have any family or friends that care about you? Do they know what you do? If they do, do they care?
     
  3. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    Im sorry nkrato but no, your sexual development happens when it happens. The fact that your 14 makes sexual activity illegal in many countries. But the truth is that it is happening and thats not your fault. Please be carefull though, I knew someone who had the same problem and unless your partners sexual desires are accompanied by the right love that you need things will only get worse. please please please be carefull, your young and std's are a very real possibility. These things can get out of hand if not dealt with properly. As life goes on you may find that bieng called a slut makes you feel less and less like who you are, you could become a parody of who you want to be. If you were my sister I'd be very concerned about your well bieng and I encourage you to examine what you want from life in the long term.

    If you feel its a problem then talk with your family about it, if not a councellor. Your BF may not have a clue whats going on inside you, its probably best you keep these things to yourself, you could easily hurt him, it depends how he feels about you
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 27, 2006
  4. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Yes, if I was related to you, I'd be really worried about you as well. I would be especially worried about getting STDs.

    I'm sorry if I'm not more understanding, maybe its because I was brought up more traditionally and conservative than most people?
     
  5. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    <mod edit>
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 27, 2006
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    <mod edit: previous post deleted>
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 27, 2006
  7. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    What on Earth makes you think thats me!?
    Why don't you like me? I think we have a
    misunderstanding here.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 28, 2006
  8. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    you told a girl she wasn't normal for having those thoughts. I just think thats wrong considering that sexual development happens to everyone wether there ready for it or not. I don't advocate underage sex and I don't beleive its something to be swept under the rug either
     
  9. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Well, she asked if she is a normal 14 year old girl and to be perfectly honest, she really is not. Thats the truth, and I didn't say she was wrong for doing what she does but wanted to tell her that not many 14 year old girls do her kind of behavior, I didn't mean to offend anyone and I feel that you grossly overreacted.
     
  10. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    what on earth gives you the right to define normal? <mod edit: bunny - flaming>

    If you've got a problem nkrukacoo then pm me

    Girls mature a lot faster than men on average. I knew few girls when I was 14 who weren't in some way sexually active, I grew up with two sisters and had strict conservative parents. They went through hell around that age
     
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  11. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Hmmm, good point you make.

    I don't want to get into a fight with you. We clearly have really differing opinions and thoughts and thats putting us in conflict with each other. I don't think I'll comment here anymore since whatever I say is totally shot down by you. I'll shutup then.
    Would anyone else like to comment in this thread?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 28, 2006
  12. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    I don't think our opinions are too different. I just believe your the type to stifle a girls freedoms. Which if we weren't discussing a 14 year olds sexual endeavours you would react the same way to a 20-25 year old woman who is putting it about.

    I'm sure you were raised that way and you believe in what your saying and I respect that, but there was this whole thing about womens liberation a while ago which changed the world, <mod edit: bunny - flaming>
     
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  13. bunny

    bunny Staff Alumni

    look you two, a girl is looking for some support here, either you stop flaming or youre going under moderation
     
  14. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    sorry 2lost4words, I hope none of that offended you. But it is an example of how sensitive these issues are, re-enforcing the need to be carefull about your life choices.
     
  15. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    2lost4words, I don't think your actions are wrong at all, I don't think other 14 year old girls do your type of behavior but it isn't a bad thing your doing. Seriously, not many 14 year old girls are like you are there? But abnormal doesn't mean always a bad thing, we've been taught that if you act different from everyone else, its automatically a bad thing, which I strongly disagree with.

    However, I am worried about you and that this may get you in some trouble a while later. I'd be worried about your multiple partners and possibly that they made have STDs (sexually transmitted diseases), they aren't something to be messed with and I really hope you don't end up getting one. I'd also be worried that maybe your boyfriends would be abusing you.

    Are there any family members/friends/etc worried about your behavior?

    I hope you can stay safe because I feel that perhaps your behavior is a bit dangerous. If I was your father/brother/friend, etc. I would be worried about you. Please take care of yourself and don't do anything rash that will haunt you later on.

    I am wondering how you think that you'd be hurting your latest boyfriend. What makes you think you are hurting him?

    If I have offended you or anyone else, then I truly am very sorry, probably because of the way I was raised and I apologize in advance.
     
  16. Mya

    Mya Well-Known Member

    its ok no one offended me im just scared to let ppl past my wall i mean its getting easyer with the grupe of ppl i hang out with now, maby ill just learn to live with it...no worrys about std's i wont have sex (every thing but really) im just tired of always needing to be held to feel like im real...you know?
     
  17. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    Its ok, your sexuality will mature as time goes on. as you become stronger and more independant you'll probably become the one who is firmly in the driving seat, the more you come to understand yourself. But yeah keep it safe, and intercourse isn't the only way to catch an std. try and do some research on it if you can, the people you hang out with aren't necessarily trustworthy sources of information, especially at that age :)
     
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  18. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun you're 14, that's way to young to be having sex. Has somethiing happened in your life that makes you feel this is your only option? That you'll only be loved if you put out?

    Your post made me feel so sad for you and all I wanted to do was give you a big hug. Your self esteem must be at an all time low if you feel this is the only way you can be loved or held.

    Please don't think I'm frowning at you or thinking you're bad person. I'm talking from personal experience here. I too was sexually active at 14, I was abused as child and thought I had no right to say no. I was definetly not emotionally or physically ready for an adult relationship and all it did was leave me feeling dirty, used and less than I was.
     
  19. StarFish

    StarFish Guest

    Hi Mya,

    I replied to your other post too:smile:

    Try not to worry too much about whether you're normal or abnormal. Everyone is a little wierd at times. Especially me. A lot of the time I think our behaviour comes out of our woundedness and pain. It's often a coping mechanism too.

    I am concerned about your being sexually active so young. But my biggest concern about your life is your safety. I think previous posters made some good points about being careful about STDs.

    Please be careful about who you date...especially if that man happens to be much older. I got involved with an older man when I was a teen and he eventually raped me. I just don't want that to happen to you hun.

    I hope this post hasn't come across as condescending or patronising. I'm just concerned about you.
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2006
  20. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    Your just growing up. Nothing to worry about. It'll go away and you'll eventually have a better understanding of your sexual desires. In the mean time, be careful with your sex life and virginity. Remember, you can only give your virginity away once.