People I have been suicidal and depressed for at least 7 years if not more. I joined a running group about two years ago, and one of the members was a woman whom I had known for years. We became very close friends, and to me she was my best friend. In my 35 years of being alive I finally had someone to share stuff with. I have never ever been close to even my family to share things with to them. But most importantly she gave me some hope and gave me something to look forward to. I loved being friends with her, and yes I fell in love with her, but she is married. Please listen when I say I NEVER EVER crossed any lines with her, or NEVER EVER had the thought that one day we may be together. Anyway she left her husband, and finally admitted what everyone knew except me she was being abused for many years. Now I mean verbally abused, and violent as in throwing and breaking stuff. After listening to everyone tell her she was a sinner, and she should give him another chance she went back to him after only two months. In two months he supposedly changed after 23 years of being the way he was. So she had to cut ties with all of her friends, because she says he is insecure . I have not spoken with her in about six months. So here is a man who abused his wife for years, even told his daughter she needs to commit suicide and yet he ends up with everything. He lives in a 300,000 house, wealthy, and has an incredible human being as a wife. Now here I am even more depressed than ever. I have to live with and take care of my grandmother, have no job, and feel like the loneliest person in the world. All I ever wanted was to remain friends with my best friend, but in the end I end up with nothing, but my depression and suicidal thoughts. So do I have that "Why not me" attitude?