Do I have an eating disorder?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by ~Nobody~, Jan 30, 2007.

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  1. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    ... Or just disordered eating?

    This has been worrying me lately.

    I am not happy with the way I look, but I don't think I'm fat or ugly. Part of me wants to be ugly. I don't like the attention I get from men, which is mainly directed at my (large!) breasts. In a way I really like my "hourglass" figure, but I hate my curves too.

    I often skip meals. Sometimes I go for days at a time without eating a thing, just to prove I can. When I feel hungry I make myself wait until I feel really hungry before I eat.

    I binge eat though, too.

    I've never been overweight or particularly underweight. I used to eat three huge meals a day, and my friends were all jealous of my metabolism. Now I just don't want to eat at all.

    Just recently I've become pretty obsessed with weighing myself. I do it two or three or even more times a day, but I don't know why. I don't have a "target weight" or anything, at least not consciously. But I do feel good when I see that I've lost a few pounds.

    Is making myself feel really really hungry and denying myself food a form of self-harm?

    What's wrong with me?
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    We can't diagnose, because we are not doctors, and anyone that is would not be able to diagnose you either because they do not know you, and the criteria are very complex.

    What I do suggest is that you go to the doctor because they will be able to offer you help. Whether it is disordered eating, or an eating disorder, there are definite issues there that need sorting.

    Maybe print out what you have written and show it to the doctor.

    Sorry for the useless reply, but we really are not qualified to say what is wrong with you.
     
  3. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Sorry, I know you aren't qualified. I shouldn't have worded my post that way. I wasn't actually asking for a disgnosis. But I know it sounded like I was.

    Never mind, I wish I hadn't posted in the first place.
     
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It's good you posted, you were reaching out for help, and the best help I feel I can give you is to advise you to go to the docs.

    If you go to the docs, then you should get help with this issue, which is clearly playing on your mind.

    Might it be worth a try?
     
  5. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    My doctor's usually useless. I think she's sick of the sight of me.

    If it makes the slightest bit of difference to anything I am currently having treatment for depression and PTSD.
     
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Does that mean that you have a therapist or psych or someone?

    Could you show them what you wrote?
     
  7. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    I do, yes, but I think she's getting more and more freaked out about me. Every session she learns about some other problem I have or some other huge issue from my past...

    Several times now, she's felt the need to point out that we can't fix everything. We don't have time to and we need to focus. We've already eliminated talking about my depression, because my PTSD is more devastating on a day-to-day basis. She's also said we're not going to try to deal with any events that happened before I was fifteen. I don't have a specific session limit but they obviously want to get me functioning and out of their way.

    Which is fair enough.
     
  8. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    No, it's not fair enough, you deserve time and support to help you work through ALL your issues, not just those that she deems important, or those that can fit into a time limit.

    It sounds to me like you feel pressured into getting better, and that things are happening faster than you are able to cope with, and also that there are things that you feel you want to talk about (ie maybe things that happened before you were 15) that you feel unable to talk about.

    I still personally think you should show her your post. I am sure she is not getting freaked out, why would she, you are ill, but it might show her that you need more support and help than you are currently getting, or are 'allowed' from her.

    What kind of therapist is she? Where did you find her from? Is it an NHS counsellor or someone? There are lots of places in the UK that do free counselling and therapy, and they will let you take your time, so it might be worth looking into them. MIND and your local citizens advice bureau would be good places to start for those.

    It certainly doesn't sound like you are getting the support and help that you feel you need, and you need to fight for what you deserve.

    Hang in there
     
  9. Jawa

    Jawa Guest


    Of course it is. To be honest though, I think you're diverting your emotions from some other topic into your eating. You sound like you eat weirdly in order to express some kind of emotion/point/statement to yourself and others due to some kind of stressor in your life - what that is I really could not tell you...
     
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