Do I or dont I???

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by na-taya, Mar 24, 2016.

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  1. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    Do I want to survive this Easter long weekend or dont I????

    I'm leaning to ward the second option.

    I'm sick of needing to ask for help and support.
    I'm tied of nobody ever wanting anything to do with me unless I can help them or going to an appointment
    I'm sick of not being greatful for what I do have.
    I'm tied.
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hun I know you're tired and I know you've been fighting already.

    But please don't give up. You're such a lovely person! You deserve to let yourself be helped, you know?
    And I'm sure people would love to be there for you if you let them, you're worth it!

    Hang in there hun. Know you can write me any time!
  3. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    I just.......I just.......

    Thank you......

    I'm sorry for being so desperate and pathetic i hate it
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    *hugs you* it's okay hun, it really is
  5. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    It's really not.....

    But thank you so much for trying and talking with me right now.

    I need to stop complaining.......

    I'm so sorry
  6. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    It is okay to complain hun, please keep talking!
  7. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry I don't mean to make any one worry.....especially about me.......

    I should of been smarter than this.....

  8. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hun, of course I worry. Please be kind to yourself now!
  9. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Hi, I don't know what to say to help. I really hope you can stay with us. You sound like a really nice person.

    Keep safe. If you need to talk we're here
  10. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    Thank you don't need to say anything just knowing you took the time out for someone as pathetic and horrible as me is somewhat nice......

    I will do my best and am trying to look after myself I've put my relaxing music on to try n help calm me a bit so fingers crossed it works
  11. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    I very much doubt you're anything like you say... Though I understand that feeling. I feel the same way about myself.

    I'm glad you're keeping safe. People tell me that these times will pass... And they do. Sadly they can also return, but they also pass.
  12. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    Thanks i managed to get some sleep last night but of course that then means you wake up for another day of battle....

    I know it passes and nice times will come but you right it does come back around and I'm not sure i care enough about the nice times to hold on......I mean they arnt worth that much i don't think.
  13. Jool

    Jool Member

    You are intelligent and seem to understand your condition well. When you're feeling like this it's hard to remember the times when you didn't. And these conditions mainly affect people who are extremely caring. These qualities alone will make you someone in a perfect position to ease others pain one day. So hang in there beautiful, one baby step at a know how it goes. You'll do it.
  14. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    @Jool thank you so much for your kind words and support..

    I have been dealing with mental health for a long time now.
    Altho i know all the things i should be doing to help myself i can't seem to do the major ones......

    I did how ever force motivation on myself today to clean my unit up i just didn't mop the floors but it rainy and my cats will run over it with wet feet so I'll so it Monday maybe.....

    But now I've stopped now and its only 2.30pm so now i have to fight myself for the rest of the afternoon.... but I am feeling a bit stronger than when I posted i have my fingers and toes crossed for the best......

    Once again thanks so much for taking the time out for me!!
  15. Jool

    Jool Member

    I understand how you're feeling. Little by little. Even though it might not seem like much you've actually achieved a great deal. Keep going.
  16. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    I disagree with that. I think they can be worth it.... The problem is that we need to change and do things. I say this while laying in bed doing nothing... Having done nothing all day.

    So I understand that it's easier said than done. Yet, it's possible. I could join some groups and find hobbies that I am sure would change my current mood.... And so could you.

    The issue is our depression. It stops us. It almost makes us enjoy our state and makes us feel comfortable in it.

    We just need to work. I don't have the answers... I just know it can be good.
  17. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    I had almost a yr of not being to depressed and excited about what I was doing but I don't know if that was worth it to me..........yes it was good while it lasted but I'm not so sure i care to fight until the next one comes around it took 15yrs just to make it to that point I'm am defenitly sure i don't have another 15 left in me.....

    I'm trying not to be a downer but it's just how i am right now.
  18. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    And I made it thro the Easter weekend its Tuesday here.........dissapointed much
  19. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You made it through easter and you should pat yourself on the back for that, you got through it hun and that's all that matters. You are here and safe. Best of luck to you for the future and keep close to your mind that you DID get through this. That is an achievement in itself :)
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