do i really matter?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by crookxshanks, Feb 26, 2009.

  1. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    im really getting to the point where i hate this

    its the second time its happened. ive gone to my counsellor appointment only to find out as soon as i get there its been cancelled. first time i desperatly needed it because that was the day where i od'ed unsuccessfully

    i got there again on time again today and they tell me the same thing again today. ive only seen her once this year sometimes its been my fault but at least i phoned up and said i wouldnt be able to make it. they cant even do that!

    its driving me mad now. like do they even really give a damn about me or do they want me to end up six feet under

    this counsellor was someone i found myself because felt i needed extra support from someone who had nothing to do with my psych or other therapists. felt like they didnt listen whereas my counsellor does. i can talk to her better than i can talk to all the others. but now im thinking do i seriously matter and what is the damn point of it all if they havent even got the decency to let me know before i even set foot out of my front door. just thinking of going to this appointment gives me a damn panic attack at the moment. even more so at the moment. i NEED these appointments at moment and it just feels like no one gives a damn about me. do i seriously matter in anyones eyes at all

    its annoyed me and made me depressed at the same time. just so fed up of everything that my head is everywhere right now
  2. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Hey crookx

    You do matter! Maybe sitting down and writing your counselor a letter and letting her know how this is making you feel? Then mailing it to her. Or calling and leaving a voice mail? Just getting out that it is frustrating you and causing you to feel unimportant right now , and that just adds to your daily stressors. if you need talk, ever, please don't hestitate, my pm box is always open or you can add me to msn messenger.
  3. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Mand, hun, you matter a hell of a lot to me & to other people here :hug:.

    I'm sorry they cancelled your appt without even the decency to do it before you had turned up. Have they made another appt for you?

    I know how hard it can be, getting the courage to go to these appts, working out beforehand what you need to say & what you think you're actually able to say.

    I know you are able to talk to this counsellor hun, but by not seeing you regularly then she's not really helping you. It's not fair that you should have to prepare yourself mentally for these appointments & then not even get to see someone to talk things though with. I don't know if finding another counsellor would be an option for you. If you do stick with your current one then it's important that you tell her how this is affecting you. I know sometimes circumstances mean appointments are cancelled but it shouldn't be happening this often. You need someone that can see you regularly hun.

    Take care of yourself hun, you are worth it.

    Always here for you, Claire xx
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Mand you know I only have one thing to say You Matter!! Your my friend and I will always be here for you!! But I think you already know
  5. the fleet asleep

    the fleet asleep Well-Known Member

    counselors run a business, just like any other business on the face of this planet. sometimes, we take solace in the fact that we inherently believe our counselors/psychs/therapists care about us on a more personal level, and while some cases this may be true, i wouldnt say they care about us any more than our teachers/professors/doctors do. honestly, i think its our innate ability to just assume that opening up to someone will make them care about you, regardless of any other factors, that keeps many of us from truly gaining all the real world benefits that opening up can have. i dont know you at all, so i wouldnt accuse you of being one of these people. im just speaking in general terms, and could be dead wrong about it.

    at the end of the day, counseling is a business. sometimes people overbook, make booking mistakes, or assume that some need their services more than others. you shouldnt take it personally when youre blown off in these situations, as it probably has more to do with running the business than it does anything on a personal level. should they hace the decency to inform you that your appointment has been canceled? absolutely, but sometimes thats just how things are done. im sure your counselor cares about your well being, otherwise she'd be a terrible counselor. next time you see her, make your feelings on it known, and see if you can work something out. hope ive made some sense here :biggrin:
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Errr best I can do is a big hug from me to you hun. Way too triggering this subject for me right now! Sorry.
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    she should have let you know. how you're feeling is so understandable. i'd feel the same way.

    you do matter to me.

    you should let her know next time, that you'd like to be told when they are gonna cancel.

    i'm sorry you're feeling so abandoned. :hug:s you.
  8. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    thanks everyone for your replies.

    i think i am going to write that letter. just dont know how or what to say
  9. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    You might find once you get started you'll find the words hun :hug:.
  10. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    Sorry I missed this. of course you matter.

    My best wishes. :)
  11. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    aw hun... you listened to me crab all day - and you didn't tell me this was going on with you...... so sorry .... i'm DEFINITELY not a counselor (LOL) don't imagine that. . . .but i AM here for you - and in the other's replies...i think also, it's a good idea to open up and express how you felt about being cancelled.

    you have a right to be treated with gentleness, and respect. nothing less.

    i'm here for you hun xxx :console:
  12. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    Mand, of course you matter! You matter a LOT to me, you are one of my closest friends here :hug:
    Definitely let her know how this affects you. I assume she knows about your panic attacks so, she will know just how hard it is for you to leave the house and get there to see her! If this happens again, I would definitely think about changing to someone else, this is not doing you any good :no:

    I'm here for you anytime, Lea :cheekkiss:
  13. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    you always matter hun
  14. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    You sure matter to me! :hug: