Do I really want to date or clear my head?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by thebaronspell, Dec 8, 2011.

  1. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    Since my ex has finally left me to my own devices I've not felt depressed and I have plenty of new found confidence and for once in my life I have girls intrested and wanting to make the effort with me instead of me doing all the leg work. I'm not a womaniser by any stretch I've just had a lucky two weeks where 5 girls have seen me trying to move on and wanted to get to know me. I'm pretty damn scared of the dates I've got lined up to go on because my ex has actually made me frightened of women :(

    It's obviously my sweet hearted, bubbly and funny personality that works in my favour as it really isnt my looks or anything but also its usually my good nature that is attacked by women towards the end?? My sister has barely spoken to me as her partner things I'm too soppy with girls and I'm a pushover but thats how I've been brought up. She's trying to toughen me up I know but If I start changing I'll be something I won't like.

    I feel really bad about talking to a number of women at once but they have done all the chasing and I'm not tied to no one so its okay surely?

    I'm not lucky or blessed where woman are concerned either. I'd really be knocking this christmas good fortune. For instance I had a date last month and then it transpired that she was also seeing the ex boyfriend of my ex!!! and we all live like miles apart from each other. I get lucky and then something happens to me to ruin it. So he has like ruined my whole year until now...
     
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm glad things are going well for you. :) (That is a HUGE smile, btw.)

    You are currently single and not tied down to anyone in particular..."playing the field" so to speak. That's fine as long none of the girls feels or believes they are the only one. My instinct is to suggest you start off as friends with any and all of these girls. Get to know them (and others, you lucky person!) quite well before deciding that it's time to date just one person. After a confidence zapping break up, it's good to get an idea of the types of people who add to your confidence and who are people you want to make feel good too. Going slowly and being true to your own interests, needs, and hopes as well as those of the girls you date will help to ensure that you know and care about each other enough not to abuse the good nature of the other.

    You have made a super spectacular start! :hug: Keep us posted as you get to know these lucky young women with whom you have set up dates! Good luck! :)
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I too think it is good you are seeing several people so you can get a feel of what you want next in a relationship Let them know it is just friendship for now okay You have to learn from the past relationship and not make same mistakes hun I hope you find that certain someone that brings you laughter and joy hun
     
  4. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I can kinda relate to your situation a little bit. My ex scared me off men for a while, or at least from trusting them, but ever since I found that 'closure' on the relationship and fully moved on a few months ago there have been a fair few people suddenly interested in me. It's kind of peculiar because people hadn't generally ever showed an interest before and yet now they all come along at once; kinda like buses.

    Try not to feel too bad about talking to them all at once; I know how horrendously guilty it can make you feel, but you have to look at it logically in that you're not dating any of them, and even those you don't end up dating could turn out to be really good friends (if they're not already). You have to do what's best for you and keep your options open so that you can find the best possible person for you. Just don't give any of them the impression that you're going on dates with them exclusively until you've made your mind up on who you actually want a relationship with (if any of them).

    Just enjoy it for now, it might not happen again and something good could come out of it if everything goes right. Don't worry too much. Take it slow and just see if there's any spark there with any of them.