Do I tell my boss?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Rubydo, Oct 16, 2012.

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  1. Rubydo

    Rubydo Member

    K, I can't face going to work after what I've been thru. I have an email set and ready to go but need advice. Should I be honest or just quit?
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Seems a bit of a difficult question to provide advice on without knowing any of the details. What have you been through? Is it related to your job/employment? Did it happen on the job? If it is something that happened on the job and was a cause instigated by others, then definitely file a grievance with the employer. If it is totally unrelated, then it is likely that it is immaterial to the job itself and should be separated from work and personal. Again, difficult to give any advice without knowing anything. I hope it works out for you, either way though.
  3. Rubydo

    Rubydo Member

    It's really hard to write all the gory details for the world to see. I know I'm confused, frightened and upset right now but I don't know if I'll lose my job if I don't explain why I'm not at work. How does one find a friend to confide in here?
  4. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Consider going to see your doctor and explain the situation to them. It is possible that they might be able to give you something in writing to suffice as a medical leave. As far as providing details to your employer, it probably depends more upon the type of relationship that you have with them. You do not have to explain to them in any detail, but you probably should get something from your doctor that at least demonstrates, in writing, that you are under doctor care and legitimately in need of some understanding in relationship to your work absence.
  5. Rubydo

    Rubydo Member

    No health insurance, no doctor but thanks anyway .

    I thought this would be a good topic for people like me.
  6. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    It sounds like something happened at work - if it was caused by a coworker, tell your boss, especially if your only other recourse is to quit anyway

    The other possibility is that the whole environment was toxic - my wife had to quit one job because her new boss thought that yelling was the best way to communicate and got too stressed out - for something like that you may also want to talk to an attorney to see if you are entitled to compensation because you were forced to work in a "hostile environment"
  7. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    I agree, if you are feeling the way you feel... then it IS something that you should refer to your boss... ok? Any incident that is causing you to feel as you described, is worth discussing with a superior.... for many important reasons, some of which would be a part of your workplace ethics codes and rules, another which would be a part of your rights as a human being, another which would be within legal grounds for you as a citicizen etc...

    Please tell your boss. If you can't do that face to face, then do send an email, and just explain that it is difficult, due to the nature, to do this in person, because you are now anxious about the entire subject.
  8. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Your response to what happened at work, is related to what happened and without that being clear, it is difficult to advise you...if it is a labor or discrimination issue, you should seek information from the Dept of Labor; if it has to do with co-workers that is very different than with performance competence. If you can provide more information, I am sure many here would be discussing of luck to you
  9. Rubydo

    Rubydo Member

    I'm terribly sorry, I have not been thinking clearly and apparently not communicating well either. My intent was how much truth you need to give to your boss when you have a tramatic experience. I've always been a little too truthful. I really wanted to end my life when I lost my last friend, my dog last weekend. I have not been back to work, I still wish I would just die and don't want to face anyone or try to be perky. I only told him that I wasn't doing well and wanted a few days off, tomorrow will be 3 days.
    Again, my apologies.
  10. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I understood you, not to worry. Again, as it is not work related I would not give too much detail as it can give an unwanted impression to your employer. On the other hand, a lot really depends upon your relationship with your boss. If you feel they are compassionate, I think discussing that you lost someone close to you could be in order (some people don't understand how much our pets can mean to us, but others of us do understand it). Usually work workplace absence, a 3 day "sickness" (i.e., not being at work) requires some sort of medical documentation support. If you're concerned, and if you choose not to discuss with the employer, then I'd still recommend seeing someone in the medical field. Since your company does not provide you insurance (?), there are clinics or MHMR's you can go to. Perhaps you could get a screening and take it from there, but at least have some sort of evidence to back yourself up (could be useful in an unemployment situation also). Just some random thoughts, perhaps not helpful but as a dog lover myself... I feel for you. I lost my Husky a few months ago. He was my son's dog, and I lost my son two years ago. It hurts, the losses.
  11. Rubydo

    Rubydo Member

    Well, just to update here, I did email my boss with the whole story and I was lucky to come out unscathed. He called me and was very understanding, promised to tell no one and begged me to come back to work. I told him that my biggest worry is that I'd start crying in public, he said he'd keep me too busy to cry. Wish me luck, I'm going back tomorrow.
  12. 3.141592654

    3.141592654 Well-Known Member

    Good luck. Hope you can put your mind on something else for a couple of hours.
  13. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I wish you all the luck in the world!
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