My husband has is all more switched on to what I am doing lately. I had a hidden stash of alcohol which he found (I don't drink). I have started driving around a lot in my car (it get rid of stress for me). He knows about what is happening at work, that I am up in the air at the moment and don't know whether I am coming or going. Also some bullying has taken place. I have told him I don't really want to train my dogs anymore (I have been doing it for the last 7 years, and used to take them to obedience trials etc). The club have some nasty people getting stuck into me about silly things. My last counselling session is today as my current counsellor is burnt out. My daughter died last year and it is coming up to my birthday. He says if I am feeling low to tell him and he will get some help, but I don't want to end up in the "looney bin", I don't know if I want to get better. I just think I want to be somewhere else. I can;t talk to the counsellor about these strong suicidal feelings because then I will get sent to the looney bin and I don't want to go.