Do looks matter?

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#1
People are so concerned with their looks I find it really annoying. I don't give a damn about my looks. Why are looks so important? Why do people obsess over them? My god there’s so much more to life then looking pretty. The stupid society has brain washed girls to think being thin is pretty so they go out and starve themselves. But what the fuck for? I mean really. Why? I have over weight friends and family members. So what? What’s the big deal? I care nothing of looks. I hate the fake look. Every one in my town has fake nails, fake hair, fake tans, etc and even a fake personality to go alone with the rest of their fakeness. I hate it. Your opinions?
 

theleastofthese

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#2
Since I have always been what I consider to be 'unattractive', or to be kind, "nondescript", I've never considered looks to be all that important. Unfortunately most of the rest of society thinks that looks are crucial: look at the "personal care/make up/etc" ads in the media. But no, I think that looks are just the surface and so temporary that I try to always see beyond apprearances. Besides, as the saying goes, "at night all cats are grey". Who cares what someone looks like when the lights are out??
 
B

Blackness

#4
I think that yes society has made looks like 100% important. We supposidly have to date pretty people, getting old is a terrible thing, we have to look our best at all times, we has to smother our faces in makeup just to be noticed, we have to have plastic surgery if there is one wrinkle on our face! It's bloody ridiculous, what happened to the REAL WORLD?
 

LetItGo

Staff Alumni
#5
Its always been this way, its always mattered, just now its more intense then ever, and what is defined as "attractive" is far too narrow in my opinion. Its really bad for women, and its getting that way for men as well. I find myself getting a bit more vain lately, but im not sure if thats "society", me wanting to feel good about myself, or me wanting to appeal to the opposite sex...I guess its all those things...but it certainly matters to me more now than it did when i was younger. In the end though its about self acceptance and thats something we all have to come too eventually, I think if i could find that id feel a lot better about myself, regardless of whether "society" classified me as good looking or not.
 
S

suicide_ideation

#6
SCIENCE - We don't choose how we're gonna look. Our bodies are just flesh and bone.

PHILOSOPHY - Is one ant 'nicer' than another?

RELIGION/Psychology - - Pride and greed drives/motivates people.

What is 'beauty', anyhow? We can have a long debate on Beauty, Lust and Pride.

I think we're mixing all three. Again, on each thread, I seem to go back to the same principals.

LUST = Selfishness
Pride = Selfishness

Beauty is a good philosophical topic. I'm not sure why some are thought of as more beautiful. Is it a result of civilization? Interesting subject. I don't have the answers.

I'm a humanistic and I care equally about all people. I'd never dare think of anyone as more beautiful than any other person, it's almost like a sin to me, and I'm not religious*. A sin to reason.


I'm like a neanderthal living in a civilized state where people are totally modernized and I can't relate with any of their motivations.

I see pretentious and superficial women, and men walk by homeless people, all the time, and it makes me sick.. People don't have a conscious anymore.
I don't wanna go into politics, but while we're at it, I'll add that capitalism sucks ____.

More stuff to cover and consider, but I'm too tired.

I value more modesty, intelligence and unselfishness than pride and greed. Maybe cuz I'm so damn intelligent, who knows.

Envy is as bad as Pride, too.
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#7
Am sick to death of feeling like I don't measure up TBH.
Now the obsession with porcelain veneers for teeth has me putting my hand over my mouth cos I hate my teeth:sad: and all I keep seeing is perfect spotlessly white teeth.
Don't like what gravity does to the bod either..everything seems to start going south. Need to move to France, they dont seem to give a damn about any of it and are much more interested in who you are rather than what you look like or how old you are.
 
P

ProzacDeathWish

#8
Do looks matter ? ...Yes. They always have and always will.

Is it fair ? ...when was life ever fair ?

Personally I want to look as good as I possibly can. It isn't a sin to be attractive nor does it mean that an attractive person cannot also possess good character.

My nephew's wife ( both in their twenties ) is an extremely beautiful 6' tall
blonde....she is also a very sensitive, kind-hearted woman who is
studying to be an elementary school teacher.

Perhaps the people ( not directing at anyone specific ) who try and convince us that desire for physical beauty is somehow vapid and superficial are the very ones who themselves are needlessly obsessing over beauty....lighten up.

I hear about "society's" standards. Well intelligence is also valued by society. Doesn't that put pressure upon the not so intelligent ?

Just a few thoughts from me, ...a not so good looking person with average IQ who wishes he had the face and body of Dolph Lundgren combined with the mind of Stephen Hawkings.:mellow:

ps, tell societal standards to get off my back :mad: !!!
 

Greenforest

Well-Known Member
#9
People obsess over looks because there's no option to be ugly in this world if you want to live happy. Everyone different looking is a target. Some people don't care, but there are always those who will. They can talk shitty lies about being "anti-racist" but still make fun of different looking people.

Looks do matter. If you don't fit into the crowd, it's a sin. Something to shame.

But maybe it's the natural selection that good looking people continue breeding good looking children, and ugly ones are destined to die alone with their bad genes.
 
#10
We are in a very material age. It sucks, I agree. Years ago I dated women of all sizes. What mattered was that we clicked and were attracted to each other. I haven't dated for over 4 years now but that was my choice. This shitty world of material people will go on but I just made a choice. I chose to ignore it and try not to be part of that shit. I don't buy newspapers or magazines so I don't support all this star struck material shit. You have a choice. All I figured I could do was not support the types of things that stir this shit up. But then apparently I'm insane. But hey, who's insane?
 
#11
Twisted Sweet Lies, when I read your post I thought you were male. But you're female! And have the same name as me! Which is random, but as a surprise it wasn't a bad one. For once.
Anyway. I don't quite know why I figured you were male, mostly because most females are obsessed with weight and stuff and you're saying that it doesn't matter. I guess that's all too indicative of our society :( Sadly I'm obsessed with it, and with looks in general. As someone who doesn't fit in and sees herself in the worst possible way (well, I try. Maybe someone will see something even worse. Who knows? Happened before), I'm all too aware of looks in our society, and the way other people judge based on them. It sucks. I admit, I do it too. However mostly my assessment seems always to be that they are better than me and would never talk to me :laugh: Rather than anything bad.

Not sure what to say. The realcurves site, in my signature, was set up to combat the idea that there is a 'norm' with regards to body shape. However it's hit a bit of a plateau at the moment and needs some work done to it, but I just don't have the energy right now. I'm not sure people buy the idea anyway. I heard on the radio a few months back that in a survey by NewWoman magazine, 97% of women believe that a UK size 12 is fat. The average UK female is a 16. So either that tells you that a lot of women think they're fat, or the people who read glossy magazines are at least a little removed from the rest of society. Personally, I wouldn't say size 12 is fat, but I'm a size 12 and I think *I* am fat. So...yeah.
 

Datsik

Forum Buddy
#12
Both are important guys... I don't think any one of you don't care about looks...

IMO, girls shouldn't be too ugly and have a great personality, and at the same time too pretty and have a fucked personality.
 
#13
People obsess over looks because there's no option to be ugly in this world if you want to live happy. Everyone different looking is a target. Some people don't care, but there are always those who will. They can talk shitty lies about being "anti-racist" but still make fun of different looking people.

Looks do matter. If you don't fit into the crowd, it's a sin. Something to shame.

But maybe it's the natural selection that good looking people continue breeding good looking children, and ugly ones are destined to die alone with their bad genes.
You can have a happy life if your ugly. Being ugly is an option. I have many "ugly" friends. It's not a sin to look different. I look different but I don't give a shit. People who judge other on looks are very shallow. Ugly people won't die out. Really I think stick thin people with fake hair and nails are butt ugly. Looks to me don't matter.
 

silent_enigma

Well-Known Member
#14
I notice that in stores where there are multiple checkout lanes open, guys tend to gravitate towards the one with the prettier girl, so I always consciously do the opposite. I pick the one with the heaviest most awkward looking girl and then be nice & polite to her. I used to be a really fat kid until my metabolism changed after puberty, so I am sensitive to the subject.

I loved my wife just as much when she was a big pregnant ball as I did any other time.

-----

Also, while we're on the subject, we used to be in a mennonite-style religious cult where anything like makeup, stylish clothes, shaving legs, etc. was outlawed. After that horrible experience my wife is compulsive about hair/makeup/etc which annoys me sometimes. But I can't blame her for it.
 
#15
Now the obsession with porcelain veneers for teeth has me putting my hand over my mouth cos I hate my teeth:sad: and all I keep seeing is perfect spotlessly white teeth.
Doesn't it seem like everyone has PERFECT teeth now?! :rolleyes: And this isn't just on television either. I'm talking everyday run of the mill people. Maybe it's because it's the very first thing I look at on people.

I hate my teeth sooooo much. I'm really convinced no one could ever love me because my teeth are way less than perfect. (crazy, I know, but hey)

Everyone wants someone they are physically attracted to. The only problem is now days, what's considered physically attractive is supposed to be the same for everyone. Leaving no room for originality and plenty of room for people to feel inadequate.
 
T

the_me_that_you_know

#16
People can be beautiful on the outside yet so ugly on the inside. No looks do not matter, it's what's inside that counts. :)
 
#18
Yes, looks matter to me. I judge my self-worth based largely on my looks. If I look in the mirror and see a flabby guy, I just loathe myself. If I look in the mirror and see a guy in good shape I don't hate myself as much. I don't expect anyone to like me unless I look good. I am also very aware of other people's looks. I know this is all considered very bad, but I can't help it. I feel very attracted to good-looking women, especially ones who take care of themselves. Is this a bad thing? Am I wrong to be this way? I don't think I could change it. The feelings are so strong.
 

Esmeralda

Well-Known Member
#19
People are so concerned with their looks I find it really annoying. I don't give a damn about my looks. Why are looks so important? Why do people obsess over them? My god there’s so much more to life then looking pretty. The stupid society has brain washed girls to think being thin is pretty so they go out and starve themselves. But what the fuck for? I mean really. Why? I have over weight friends and family members. So what? What’s the big deal? I care nothing of looks. I hate the fake look. Every one in my town has fake nails, fake hair, fake tans, etc and even a fake personality to go alone with the rest of their fakeness. I hate it. Your opinions?
So are you saying you do nothing to improve your appearance before you leave the house? I find this hard to believe.

And To Suicide Ideation You must be joking. You seem to be saying that you cannot even distinguish between a person who is (externally) beautiful and a person who is (externally) unattractive. Even if your idea of "attractive" is a woman with a bleeding head-wound, an asymmetrical face and body wearing a potato sack, you MUST admit that some people are more attractive to you (appearance-wise) than others.
 
P

ProzacDeathWish

#20
People can be beautiful on the outside yet so ugly on the inside. No looks do not matter, it's what's inside that counts. :)
Not trying to focus on you as such t_m_t_y_k, but most of you who answered like the above are either visually impaired and therefore I believe you, or you are in denial about the fact that humans actually do have a superficial side that they are all born with and you are not honest enough to admit it.

Oh yes, looks don't matter....until you feel the urge to have some raw, sweaty sex with someone. Get real !!! :doh:



Here's another admirable but implausible scenario for you...deep down inside, females don't really care how much money their prospective spouse or boyfriend makes and males aren't concerned with how large their wife / girlfriends breasts are. :hysterica

To be a human means that we are simultaneously capable of many noble emotions ( such as compassion, pity, patience, loyalty, self-sacfifice ) while at the same time we are also capable of the most childish attitudes.

It really does no good to deny this peculiar aspect of human nature. It's hardwired into the human psyche and it's not going away.

Deal with it but don't deny it .....my hot-bodied darlings !!! :lips: :rose:
 
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