Do not want to live any more...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by smirnoff, Apr 18, 2012.

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  1. smirnoff

    smirnoff New Member

    Hi everyone, so today I feel like I've hit rock bottom..... I don't really have anyone to talk to about it so I found this forum and decided to create and account and make a post to get it out.

    Usually I'm a happy person although it only lasts for so long then i just break down completely.. I wouldn't say I have any serious issues or anything in my life like some other people here may have.
    I'm a 19 year old virgin with no true friends... My parents split up a while back and live on different sides of the country. I don't feel comfortable talking to either of them.. Especially my dad who I haven't spoken to for months. I feel like I can't talk to anyone I know about this

    I honestly hate myself, I'm sick of being me.. I'm very shy I absolutely hate it! It seems like my life is just going nowhere I have nothing to live for I'm not passionate about anything. It feels like everyone around me is being noticed going up in life while I'm just staying in the same place drifting through life with no purpose..
    I'm fucking sick of it all! usually I'd just drink or toke my pain away but I don't have either of those right now
    I know deep down I don't want to die but the feeling of wanting to give up is just so strong right now..

    I had a lot more to say but my head is a total mess at the moment and I can't think properly..
    Cheers for letting me get that out of my head...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Glad to see you reaching out for support here hun good to get some of that mess out of your head. Im sorry abt your parents hun i wish you could talk to someone it does help.
    You have any one hun a councillor or teacher at your school to talk to really they could have some support put in place to help you through this down period. Always here too hun if you just want to talk hugs
  3. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Glad you joined here we are here talking is the best way to help.As mentioned have you a counciller as that can help sometimes we just need to reach out to somebody.Please take care and here if you need to talk
  4. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    If it helps any, when I was your age, I was very shy as well. I would actually skip school if I knew it was my day to make a presentation or do an oral report. I thought I was going nowhere. As time went by, we all change. I changed. I now teach classes on occasion - imagine that! I would ditch school so I would not have to talk in front of class... and now I run classes from time to time.

    Time changes lives. Give yourself that time.
  5. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member

    I'm going through a very similar process this past year has been the worse year of my life. I still feel as though I haven't reached rock bottom which I think is quickly approaching. I cant remember the last time I was happy or felt any genuine positive feeling. My thoughts are consumed with thoughts of suicide and I even have set a date for my suicide. I know we can't understand totally what someone else is experiencing and feeling but a lot of thoughts you've expressed I feel.
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