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do people *really* recover?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by alison, Feb 20, 2010.

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  1. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    I've been "depressed" since my tween years (suicide first occurred to me ~ 11 years old), and have had anxiety issues for basically my whole life (I started passing out in kindergarten from panic attacks, and initially self-injured in grade school). Honestly, I feel like some people just see the world differently. No amount of optimism can convince me that this world isn't broken and messed up, I just don't understand how "non-depressed" people don't see that. It seems like people who aren't depressed are either pretending or deluding themselves.. and once you acknowledge how messed up everything is, there's no going back.

    Maybe there's some people who all of a sudden exhibit depression symptoms, and then they take meds, and then get better... which I don't mean to trivialize, that sounds difficult. But I feel like there's other people who are just *permanently* depressed, and that's just the way they are. And if there isn't any hoping things will change, what's the point?

    In case it matters, I've been seeing both a therapist and a psychiatrist for awhile now. I've been on several different antidepressants and anxiety meds, and I've done group therapies. I don't have any great hardship in my life, no abuse... nothing really. I feel like this helps me clearly see the way the world is, and I feel like there's no point for 'fighting' anymore.

    Anyways, I guess my question is... do people agree with me? Or are there really people who recover from this, after being depressed for so many years? Do you guys think there is a point to trying to recover?
  2. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    I think things can get better than the point where you're seriously feeling like it's not worth trying. But I think people who have been depressed for a long time are more suceptible to feeling like that again. Been depressed since I was like 13 (nearly 22 now) and I think I'm in a better place than I have been... I think that this is the only life we've got so might as well gamble on it getting better, only have what we're considering giving up to lose...
  3. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    That's true, thanks for responding. It just gets so tiring after awhile :sleepy:

    I'm sorry you've been dealing with this for so long too, I'm also 22 :hugtackles:
  4. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    Thanks :hug: I know it kinda feels like it's worn you right down and you have nothing left to give sometimes :( but try and take enjoyment wherever you can, if you ever need to chat feel free to pm me ^^
  5. losthope

    losthope Well-Known Member

    I'm already beyond repair.
  6. Anonymity

    Anonymity Member

    I feel the same way.

    A couple months ago I came extremely close to suicide- to be honest, I would have done it if the materials for the option I chose were available. One of my friends had told an administrator about my problems, even after I had told him that I did not believe in therapy whatsoever. Much like you. And the trouble that ensued caused the most grief I could have ever imagined. The teachers knew, my counselor knew, the school psychologist was begging for me to leave the school midway through the day, and my friend was so cheerful because he had thought he did the right thing. A friend I trusted. But he did it because he had recovered from anxiety disorder from therapy himself.

    Being the pessimist I am, I felt that he was doing this because he was after my girl. And I knew he was--he had told me. Now that I think about it, he still is, and I'm not sure if what he did was an act of destruction toward me. I feel like he might not be a friend after all, despite all he says. I'm actually constantly bogged with the idea that my friends are lying to me, and none really love me but need me for help. Its not who I am that they like, but what I do. And what I do doesn't always reflect who I am given my circumstance that I'm trying to hide who I am to avoid maltreatment altogether. From strangers who know nothing about me, etc.

    I agree with you though. Despite all the therapy and cheeriness someone could tell me about, I doubt they could change me. I feel like my train of thought can only be suppressed, not destroyed. And thus, I will always think the way I think. (Unless its some scientific thing where it could be proved wrong, but that's not this kind of scenario.)
  7. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Similarly I've had symptoms of anxiety since I was young and I've felt depressed since about 12, though it's only these past two years I've seriously considered suicide.
    I don't think it will ever go away completely just that it gets easier to cope with over time.
  8. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    You've hit the nail on the head there, imo. It reminds me of a scientist I saw on TV once who said that when you're young, you take everything for granted. You don't question things and you think everything is just great. Until you get hurt. Then the bubble you've lived in, so to speak, bursts and it never returns. After that, everything is different and harder because you have a more realistic view of the world you live in.

    Anyway, what you're saying about seeing the world differently... I think the world is what it is. And one person may have a radar that picks up more than what someone else's radar does. Some people are able to fathom the big picture and some people aren't. And ignorance is bliss. Then again, you have people who realize that the world is "broken and messed up" and they're not depressed.

    I, for instance, am aware of the problems in this world but I'm not depressed. I'm saddened, but not depressed. I wouldn't say I'm completely happy, either, though. It's kind of hard to be that. If not, impossible. Without sounding pompous I think it's, as some would say "part of the human condition" to not be able to be 100% happy. But there's bad and good. I mean, the cup isn't just half full or just half empty...it's both. That's the way I look at things. I'm a realist, not a pessimist.

    I've been depressed for years and I recovered. But it wasn't the kind of depression where I couldn't put my finger on the exact cause; I was depressed for a number of clear reasons. So I knew exactly what had to change in order for the depression to be lifted.

    Therefore I can only guess as I'm not an expert on the kind of depression that you describe. But I remember reading an article written by Daphne Merkin who has been struggling with depression for no less than 45 years. She tried every antidepressant in existance, if I remember correctly, and none of them really made her recover 100%. She really wanted to recover so badly but...it just went on and on. So there are certainly cases where it's pretty much impossible to recover. But I doubt that's the case with everyone. But like I said, that's just a guess.
  9. Shattered Soldier

    Shattered Soldier Well-Known Member

    I really think people can enter recovery when they learn to enjoy the smaller things in life and hide themselves the big picture. I know for many of us, including myself, this can be difficult if not impossible. I guess there are ways of reprogramming yourself to live for life's small pleasures, but when you're incapable of feeling pleasure at all it can be very hard. For me, life is mostly about surviving boredom, I've given up the notion of my life having a point a long time ago. I've taken so many chances in my life, so many risks, and have seen so many unbelievably crazy things that I'm just completely numb to every situation that life could possibly present to me, good or bad.

    On a technical note, recovery is a process to which there is no end point, it takes constant work and vigilance to maintain this process. So technically people don't ever fully recover, but can maintain the state of recovery as long as they work at it.

    The way I see it (on a much less technical note) recovery is a lie that people tell themselves until it becomes true. That life is worth living. That something positive can come out of it. That there might just be some reward at the end for all the hard work and effort. No I'm not a pessimist, nor am I an optimist, in terms of ecology I am a consumer who is hoping he hasn't depleted his resources. The glass isn't half empty, or half full, but it better be halfway to another glass, because either way I'm gonna drink it.
  10. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I agree with you completely, I think most people are just ignorant of how the world really is or focus too much on the positive and not enough on the negative. I think it just depends on the person, some people focus on the positive, some on the negative and some are just balanced. It's difficult to pin down though, because like you, I've had symptoms of anxiety and other such mental behaviours since before I was even in school up until this point in my life. It feels like I've been born this way, as I don't see how a child as young as three could possibly be so aware of what the world is like and what people can be like. I think for those who develop problems later in their life because of some sort of trauma or incident, can be 'cured' if they actually want to be, but for those who have had problems since they were children or the reasons root back to childhood, I think it is far far less likely and harder to change the way they think after so many years of thinking a certain way. Regardless of this though, I still hold out hope that one day I'll be what can be described as 'normal'.
  11. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    When I just go out and live my life, often enough I'm not busy with all the misery and unhappiness there is in the world. I'll be too occupied with the things at hand, as they require all my attention. I never forget, though. And I think about it a lot. But it's not on my mind 24/7. That's very important, I feel. To not get lost in a dark hole where you're only thinking about the bad things in this world.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 20, 2010
  12. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    In that article I mentioned written by Daphne Merkin, she said it felt to her as if she was born in an itchy, grey sweater where other people were born in a comfortable, multicolored one. So she had her depression since childhood too.
  13. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I agree with Shattered Soldier that recovery persay is an illusion that people sell themselves. Living life through rose-colored glasses is difficult at best. Why anyone would look at that as a character fault is beyond me.
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