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Do/would you regret telling?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by jeg, Feb 18, 2013.

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  1. jeg

    jeg Member

    First of all, I'm not at all depressed or have any other recognizable mental abnormality. I've been perfectly healthy my entire life and I have a great group of friends and a family who loves me. (Bet you never heard of that)

    But lateley, (roughly two years now) I've been having a lot of suicidal ideation. It,s gotten to the point of pretty much everyday and the urges are slowly growing stronger as well. Normally I would just ignore it as something not worth paying attention to, but it's gotten to the point that it's interfering with normal life. Like I said, I'm completely healthy and not taking any medications at the moment. I honestly can't come up with a cause myself but I'd really like a cure.

    What I'm trying to say is, I'm a minor and can't get prescription drugs without my parents knowing or without breaking laws. I'd rather not do the latter. I'll assume that nobody knows a good way to come out to your parents, so I want to know if it is or was worth it. Have you ever told anyone? And if so, was it worthwhile?
  2. fredrickguy

    fredrickguy New Member

    Please consider that my words are simply my own opinions and thoughts and I am most assuredly no expert - however, based on your own words above, you have family who loves you and supports you. They may not truly understand everything you are going through, but I believe that they will try to help in any way they can. Not everyone has the family support that you do - and not all of us have people we can trust and rely on. As a parent who loves his children, I can honestly say I just want them to be happy and to grow into something better than I am... I want them to succeed in whatever is important to them, and to have the best possible life. I would do anything to help them achieve that. Please give your parents the same opportunity - let them help you with this. It may be embarrassing to talk about, but I truly believe it is for the best and that they will be there for you. I hope you give them the chance.. and be honest, and tell them everything. Too often we don't tell the whole truth, and minimize things, so they don't really know what is going on or how serious a problem really is. Please give them the opportunity to be there for you, and if not them, find someone who cares about you and seek their support.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think the best way to approach this with a loved one is in smaller doses...starting with, I am concerned about how I feel...when one tells someone, especially one's parents, it is important to elicit their help...once the topic has been broached, then some of the details can be added...this is not the case if it is an emergency, then it is critical to be as honest as possible, because accessing services needs to be more rapid
  4. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Considering that my 'outing'' to my mum was with a trip to the Emergency room, I would definitely never advise such way to you or anyone else, and feel that if this is something that is seriously affecting you to where your whole life feels like it is put on hold (no drive, no ambition, no will or want for/to do anything with anyone or any thing) then I would recommend that you if not your parents, then you should let your thoughts be known to someone else that is very close to you, as you are so very yound and have so much opportunity left in you to get out and live, that to do anything as act on impulse without anyone knowing not only ruins your own future, but everyone (not just your friends and family) around you to question whether or not something could have ever been done. 'Could have' being the operative words - never live a life filled with doubts or let those near you nurse such thoughts.
  5. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    hmm.. i myself haven't quite thoroughly thought about this subject, but i'll try explain a bit how i feel about this. i'll just start with a bit of background. i wasn't going to 'come out' to my family and stuff like that. i told one person - my best friend - because i felt i had to do something to help her get over my suicide [stupid i know, but that's how i felt at the time]. i didn't expect her to tell anyone or do anything about this really. i mean, it wasn't a cry for help, i really thought it was the only 'right thing' left for me to do. i wasn't completely oblivious to the fact that this would hurt people [i also have a family that cares about me], but i didn't realize to what extent. well, long story short, my best friend finally panicked a few days before my 'end date' and told an adult she trusted [we were 17], who then talked to me about it, and on from there encouraged me to tell some other people, and so on. so my family and some other people know.
    as to if i 'regret it', sometimes. in a way i wish they'd [my family especially] never found out, because i hate to see them worry about me. also for example like, whenever there's suicide mentioned on TV or something like that, or just comes up somewhere, i end up feeling like they're really self-conscious about me [even though they may not recall it at all at the time, i mean i don't really know, i haven't dared to ask]. well, there's a lot of complicated things with my family and me, concerning mainly my SI, which i'm not willing to stop now [meaning i'm not even trying], and that causes a lot of problems sometimes. though it's easier now since i don't live with them [had to move due to uni]. well, main point actually being this: had i not told anyone, or had my best friend kept it only to herself, i'd be dead. so i guess it's good that i did tell her.
  6. Ginger Cuesta

    Ginger Cuesta Active Member

    I told a few people--mum, brother, and two friends. My mum does not take me seriously and so is my brother. They think I am joking, but I am serious. I battle with suicide every single day. I just feel so tired, but I try my very best to keep going. Well, my brother told my aunt and a pastor that I want to end my life. I guess some of my cousins, aunts and uncles know it by now. They just don't care. Nobody cares, but I just have to deal with it on my own. I don't feel ashamed that I find suicide enticing because I know how it feels like. To hell with whatever they are thinking. One of my friends told me that my problems are so trivial, but I don't think she gets what I'm trying to say. She doesn't understand how some stuff dramatically affected me---the foundation of my being. Maybe she is right. The thing is I am never the same again and I doubt I ever will. :boink:
  7. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    I would speak to your mum about this and see what she says and then it would be speaking to health professional about this, is there anything happening in your life that's making you feel this way.
  8. exilant

    exilant Member

    First I want to say that I thing it´s great that you´re here and that your looking for answers.

    I personally was suicidal throughout my teen years and I was verbal about it. Unfortunately my mother was helpless and the counselor we´ve seen for this said something like "you don´t have to worry about your daughter, look at her, she rather hurts you than hurting herself"...so it might be that even if you speak out you won´t find the right kind of help, but at least you give yourself and your family the chance to figure out why you have these suicidal ideations.

    If I´d be you I would also research OCD because it might be that what you´re suffering from is a special form of OCD which doesn´t come with any repetitive actions but only thoughts (pure-thoughts-OCD). That´s still a not-so-fun thing to have but (being a thought OCDler myself) it´s more or less easy to treat. There are many people in OCD forums who describe their feelings pretty apt - maybe you can relate to them better that to the depressed ones?

    Wishing you luck on your journey:)
  9. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i've told people, and it was the worst move of my life.

    don't get me started on stigma.. you will have me here an etirnity
  10. notloved

    notloved Member

    Same here. Apart from a psych I'm in contact with at the local cmht team, I wont mention it again, I'll just do it.
  11. dropdeadfr3d

    dropdeadfr3d Member

    I also want to say that this is only my opinion and you should form your own... But I only ever told one person... He never mentioned it again. I think you have a huge advantage in a loving and supportive family... I would give alot to have that and nothing else. You should decide who and how much to tell... I think alot of people turn to suicide (again just my opinion) for a sense of control of thier own life... so pick a person who you trust the most and start small.

    I will say that I knew someone who never told anyone...my family will never be the same without him. We all live our lives wondering if there was ANYTHING any one of us could have done that would have made the difference for him. He was something that only he could be and without that the dynamic no longer worked... and what was left of us has become even less of a family than ever. That was more than 2 years ago and it's still like yesterday. Your family would never be the same without you either.
  12. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    sending you hugs low on words to say right now
  13. Roseannadanna

    Roseannadanna Member

    I won't even use the S word around professionals anymore. I comply with treatment; go to appointments and try to stay strong. But since I've now been labeled, diagnosed and hospitalized, I know the drill and I feel self censorship is the only possibility of one day being taken out of the mental health "box" I've been placed in an avoiding hospitals.
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