Do you always know the reasons you self harm?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Carcinogen, Mar 10, 2008.

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  1. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    As the title says really. Do you always know why you're doing it, and what the triggers are? Or do you sometimes just not know but seem to have no choice but to cut/burn/scratch/wristbang/etc?

    If there's already a thread like this, just delete it.
     
  2. ColdSummer

    ColdSummer Well-Known Member

    My answer is no. I started doing it to release anger or sadness and make me feel better, now sometimes the reasons are the same, sometimes I do it just to see blood, to have a cut, to stop me from crying, to care for it and watch it heal, or just for no reason at all.
     
  3. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Same here.

    I just do it,,because I have to, or because I'm angry..
     
  4. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Lot of times not... I just cut...
     
  5. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    I always know why I feel like I have to do it.
     
  6. martijn

    martijn Active Member

    Not at all. The last time self-harmed, all I got was this feeling that I'd either have to put out the cigarette on my arm or go inside and cut myself. I had to choose either, no way out. I haven't got the slightest clue why I felt like that or why I was left (left myself?) with those two options.
     
  7. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i guess no one has a reason to self harm after a while of having started because the feeling of needing it IS the reason, of course if we don´t talk about triggering stuff
     
  8. Sigur Rós

    Sigur Rós Member

    When I started doing it, I knew it was to provide an outlet for the pain, and almost, to feel alive again. Since then, whenever it became too much to handle I would do it to calm me down.

    I haven't self harmed for a while now and am trying to deal with the pain by talking about it, and getting help, but it is so hard.
     
  9. psycho8

    psycho8 Well-Known Member

    Yes, usually because i'm angry and recently i've started cutting when i have a massive craving for blood, but the cuts never really bleed so i'm left unsatisfied and i really need someone elses blood, using my own is just a stopgap until i find a donor
     
  10. emack54

    emack54 Well-Known Member

    No, most of the time it has to do with wanting to feel something other than emotional pain. I dont always know why though, sometimes its just to cut.
     
  11. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    It varies for me. At times I do know what causes the urges to cut myself. Like, something upsets me and that has triggered this urge to hurt myself for the pain. Then there's other times when I'm feeling uptight or anxious for no apparent reason and I need to self harm to feel alive. Other times I just get an urge to hurt myself to see the blood, because as stupid as it sounds, I do miss it. (I say "I do miss it", because I haven't cut myself since December). It varies, sometimes there's no direct reason behind these urges. Other times, there is.
     
  12. EllieThade

    EllieThade Antiquities Friend

    Not ALL the time. But many times, it's to punish myself. The trigger is when I feel bad or ignored or untaken care of. Also, I need to see the blood. Why? Because it shows the pain. No one can see the pain I feel inside, but the blood is proof/evidence of the pain. The scars left are but a memory of all the pain I went through, the uncontrollable urges to self-harm - they leave me shameful and disgusted. I don't like to FEEL the pain when I do it - I actually hate that part. I already feel mental pain - I don't need physical pain as well. When I'm really bad, I need to cut enough so that the blood drips. The more blood the better. But I only needed stitches twice. Probably because I can't take the physical pain of actually doing it. I've only cut once in the last year and feel that without a strong trigger, I'll be able not to cut again. All in all, when I do it, I am feeling bad about myself. "I must be bad or I wouldn't be treated this way, or I wouldn't be feeling this way." Badness needs punishment sometimes. My 2 cents...
     
  13. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    Yeah, the reason I cut is to punish myself, in times of stress or anxiety. I feel that some things should not be talked about, or shared, so when I talk about them in therapy, or get close to talking about them I feel I should be punished.

    It's been 10 days now since I cut. I miss it. I really, really miss it.

    Catherine
     
  14. DrownedGirl

    DrownedGirl Well-Known Member

    Yes i do.. when all tears are cried,when i can`t feel a damm thing..it is kind of the bruses fade away but the pain and shame ramains
     
  15. Forsaken Heretic

    Forsaken Heretic Well-Known Member

    I don't always know why. Sometimes it's just a feeling I get deep down, and I know that I have to and sometimes I know it's caused from stress, anger, or emotional pain. The times when I don't know why I'm feeling like I need to cut, it's harder to get the same relief and It tends to be a whole lot worse.
     
  16. Believe

    Believe Well-Known Member

    I'd like to think most of the time I know why. Mostly it just seems like I have no other choice - no other outlet, and that I'm compelled to do it or else continue feeling like I do. Other times it's because I've done something (supposedly) and feel like I need to be punished, for being wrong or deficient in some way. Then I dunno, there's just other times where I just feel like I need to watch blood dripping down my arm. Why I SI is multi-faceted, and therefore perhaps not completely understandable - maybe that's why I can't completely quit it.
     
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