I think I believe in one but I don't believe a God is good like everyone thinks. If God was so good why would he put me in so much pain? I want to pray to a God but yet I feel stupid. Almost like he/she is mocking me if I pray. I would give anything to have strength from God. But yet God is not on my side. Yet I so badly want to be with her/him. Because there can be no pain as bad as this. What do you think?