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Do you believe in love at first sight?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by AsphyxiateOnWords, Dec 17, 2014.

  1. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords Eρεβος/Νύξ

    I absolutely do not. Maybe love at first talk I could buy, or during the first date, but not at first sight. That's not love, that's just finding someone attractive or wanting to do them. Agree or disagree?
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Agree 100% - though will throw in a small caveat what one sees can influence initial attraction greatly - just look and see the person sitting - then is really nothing but immediate physical attraction/appeal, but if you see somebody doing something for example helping another person, rescue at cat or whatever corny thing comes to mind then it can make the attraction more than just based on looks. Perhaps after a fair amount of observation you might be able to develop feelings for somebody based on their actions and how they interact with others while not having really interacted with them directly yourself .

    But walk into room and eyes met and fell in love?? .... I call BS
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I don't know. It's a toss up for me. Because of unconditional love a person have for another like moms immediately loving their unborn kids. If a person can immediately unconditionally love another person like a family member then maybe love at first sight can happen?

    Honestly I agree with attraction being the reason that leads to love but it's bothering me about unconditional love one can immediately have for another being...
  4. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Very good point that I had not thought of at all in that context. With children, yes absolutely does happen the second I saw my children is immediate and complete absolute love. Mother has felt and bonded with child for months inside already but as father though excited and stuff changed the second I saw to something far more.

    That context changes the question completely - excellent point.
  5. Alsadan

    Alsadan Member

    Love at first sight? No. That's just silly on all levels. I find it strenuous to wrap my mind around the idea that I can see someone and instantly decide they are my "soul-mate".

    Once upon a time Miley Cyrus was the darling of the world. Look how that turned out...

    Besides, love at first sight leans towards the incredibly nauseating system of judging someone on appearance. Who's ever looked at a homeless man, who hasn't had a hot shower in 3 months, or a shave, or a clean change of clothes and gone "Love at first sight"?

    I fully believe you can be incredibly attracted to someone at first sight. But tell me this, of every "aesthetically pleasing" person you've ever seen in your life... How many of them have turned out to be some of the worst human beings possible? If they weren't so good looking in this damned shallow society, do you really think they'd have got anywhere?

    And if you see someone doing something good for someone else, can that really be counted? For all his "evil" doing, there exist pictures of Adolf Hitler doing wonderful and good nature things. One act does not define a person.

    However. Physical attraction, as much as I denounce it, at first sight can be the hook. The first conversation? Still no. The first date? Oh c'mon, we all stretch the truth a little bit. Second date? Yes. Then yes.

    Okay, sure you don't know everything about this person, in fact, you know as much as I do about Quantum Physics... pretty much nothing. But you've got the grasp of whether this pursuit interests you or not.

    So love at second sight? Sure, I can buy into that philosophy.

    Just my two cents, all a matter of opinion so feel free to rip me a new one and put your own point across :)
  6. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    i am on the side of "no - love at first sight is ridiculous". Leaving aside children, which is a different type of love than the one I suppose us to be discussing, I do not think you can love someone without knowing them. Personally I do not even find people attractive until I have at the least had a conversation with them. I can objectively decide whether or not I considered them attractive looking, but I have never felt the desire to touch, kiss or have sex with someone I have not had a conversation with (and even then, despite liking sex a great deal, there are very few people I have ever wanted to have sex with).

    It takes me a long while to develop an attraction to someone (the primary reason I have never done internet dating even though I have toyed with the idea - it would take a persistent 6 - 12 dates for me to know if there was ever going to be anything there at all, and I doubt a guy would do 12 dates on a maybe.

    So - having got a little verbose, in summary: no - I do not believe in love at first sight.
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Not really, or else I would be falling for people left and right, lol. I can become attracted to people easily and get crushes that fade quickly, but that is about it. True love comes from getting to know someone, inside and out, seeing how compatible they are with you, and really feeling comfortable with them. I can be attracted to people I don't know well, but only a special person would be able to claim my heart.
  8. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Define love.

    Going by how I define and understand it, of course I believe it happens everyday. Everyone may have different meanings, but mine is a strong desire to care for another person or thing, and a demonstrated concern - as in through observable actions - for another's needs and well-being. That applies equally to all contexts, including romance, friendship, humanity, family, hobbies, and any thing.

    Yes, love at first sight is just the primal response that someone's symmetry and visible traits indicate favorable genes worth reproducing, making the person worthy of special treatment in order to ensure their genes' protection and survival. An instinctive, mechanical, shallow or superficial love, but nontheless love. As opposed to a raw lust, which involves neither care nor protection.

    Everyone knows the perks that commonly-perceived-as-gorgeous people receive universally, regardless of cultural boundaries; those seen as the most desireable and physically appealling in their respective societies in every society of the world, are loved on sight. However, no love is unconditional, even for children. That's one reason many are mistreated, given away, or worse. No love is unconditional, in my opinion.

    So whether love at first sight endures is the real question, I think, because all love fades, and whether by choice or by death, whether for a lifetime or a day, it was love. Some love fades quicker than others. At first sight is certainly the easiest to fade, rather than one grown over time with experience, long after first sight; the strength of an attachment (love) can move the primal instinct (attraction, first sight), too, rather than the mere instinct creating an attachment that is likely weaker.

    That is why, in my mind, there is (1) love which lacks substance, and (2) love which has developed it. The former tends to be at first sight, but at first sight may progress into the latter, depending on whether and how it endures and grows. You can't have (2) without ever having (1) first last longer and grow over time.

    My answer is yes, I believe there is love at first sight. Do I give much weight to it lasting? No, considering in an individual's lifetime, usually a substantial love only happens once or twice. How many times can we claim at first sight? Twice a day?
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 18, 2014
  9. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    Personally, I'd say nay. Granted I don't really believe "love" exist. You may see someone as attractive, that's just instinct though. I don't really mix 'compassion' with love either.

    "Love" in the context of romance is just staying with someone from social/ economic/ entertainment enforcement or value, despite no two people being 'programed' to stay together long term.
  10. caspar

    caspar Well-Known Member

    Yes. I think you can see someone for the first time and feel an instant connection, an instant bond. It's not really to do with looks, I see amazing looking people on the street every day and don't feel anything for them. Although I think 'love at first sight' is a misleading name for it. In french it's called 'coup de foudre' meaning 'a bolt of lightning', which I think is a much better way of describing it. It's different from the love you feel after getting to know someone, or the love you feel after being with someone for ten years, or 30 years. There's all different kinds of romantic love, many different facets and layers, and love at first sight is one of them. You just 'know' that the person is someone you want to spend time with, you have some immaterial bond, which may last a few days or may last many years but it's something that exists.
  11. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords Eρεβος/Νύξ

    On the subject of unconditional love...I only believe that could happen with parents and children. Romantic love is always conditional in my opinion. No one is going to still love someone if they treat them horribly. Yes, you could use abused women as an example and say some of them still love their abuser, but even then Im sure they have some sort of limitation. For example, if the guy turned out to be a serial killer who wanted to chop her into pieces, I would hope she wouldnt love him anymore then.

    As for love enduring after the whole love at first sight thing...well, if it doesnt endure, I dont think you can call it love in the first place. But thats just my opinion...I believe love only happens one time. The one that lasts until both people die is what I would call love. If a relationship ended, then it wasnt love, even though you may have thought it was at first. Some people would undoubtedly disagree with that, but like I said thats just my opinion on it.