Do you claw at your body? I do.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Tea_at_Four, Mar 6, 2012.

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  1. Tea_at_Four

    Tea_at_Four Staff Alumni

    I only recently found out this 'counts' as self harm. Who knew?

    Self image, they say, is key in this type of SH. It makes sense to me, as when I feel a failure, I claw. If I find an imperfection in my skin, I try to fix it. Remove it. Smooth it down. Oops--too hard, and now it bleeds. Damn. I tried to fix it--I did. I just failed again.
  2. detest

    detest Banned Member

    I did before I got the nerve to start cutting.
  3. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I used to. I did it in the shower with extremely hot water to where I would have red lines all over me. I punished myself for being what I felt was a freak. What I know now is that I was allowing myself and others to label me. I hated myself and I did all kinds of crazy things in that hatred. Now. When I look back I cannot believe I was so hard on myself. My expectations for myself and others was unreasonable. Take it day by day friend and stop punishing yourself you are an awsome person and have yet to know it because you don't know or understand your maker or yourself. That can easily be fixed by learning about our maker. When I did this I grew in understanding myself. I hope this helps.
  4. Tea_at_Four

    Tea_at_Four Staff Alumni

    I have used cutting as a way to detach from overwhelming emotion, such as at work where I could not afford to break down. I have not cut in about 2 years. The clawing just creeps in quietly... I don't even notice it happening until I have blood on my nails. Stressed? Unhappy? Worried? Claw.
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I don't know if I would call it clawing in my case...but I did leave scratches in my skin. Haven't really had the nerve to cut, so I do that instead.
  6. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    I do, yeah. It's usually when I'm somewhere where I can't access my "stash". I'm not sure if it really is related to self image, but I guess it would make sense in my case, too. For me, though, it's usually mindless (whereas I'll do it without even noticing I'm doing it until I've done it - a subconscious behavior), while all my other methods are done consciously.
  7. prophetbirds

    prophetbirds Well-Known Member

    I'm glad to know that other people claw at themselves. I had to start cutting my nails down to stubs, and filing them down even more than that, or else I would start to leave permanent marks on my arms. I also have to cut my hair really short or I'll start pulling it out again.

    I feel like people don't take these forms of self harm as seriously as they do things like cutting or burning. It's really invalidating when I tell my therapist that I've been scratching and pulling my hair out and she says that it doesn't mean anything.
  8. Tea_at_Four

    Tea_at_Four Staff Alumni

    I cut my nails down, too, making sure to file off any sharp corners that could gouge. It's gotten worse over the past 10 years, and I've left some permanent scars, some of them discolored from the number of times I've scratched them open.

    When I was seeing a therapist, I did not know this was self harm. I thought it was just a nasty personal habit that I should keep to myself. Through talking to other members on SF, I've learned it's a real form of injury, and I'm probably going to need help to quit. I've started knitting to keep my hands busy and away from my skin, so I'll see how that goes.
  9. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    I am guilty here. I was gonna post yesterday but I read the post and it reminded me I had a scab on the back of my hand. Without thinking I picked untill it bled while reading.
    I have never been able to leave scabs alone. I pick and pick and pick. They end up leaving pare discolored scars which I still want to pick at. I also endlessly pull at my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes. As for my nails it is a hopeless battle my ocp it tied to them so if I see something wrong or one is too long I cut it back to the quick. I pull all my hang nails they also bug me.
    Ya so long story short you are not at all alone.
  10. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    When stressed, or trying to keep the rage under control, I dig my finger nails into any flesh available...hence I have a ring of dig marks under my fringe :hiding:
    Didn't think of it as self harming tho, just a way of not turning homicidal.
  11. Lone_Wolf

    Lone_Wolf Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure if this counts but I claw at my scabs until they bleed...
  12. Tea_at_Four

    Tea_at_Four Staff Alumni

    Yes, the repeated picking of scabs is a form of SH. Common areas are arms, shoulders, face... and many more! Once I started reading about this form of SH, called Compulsive Skin Picking, I was amazed how accurate the textbook descriptions were to my habits. Part of me thinks, "Yeah! This is a real thing!" Part of me feels kinda hopeless about ever managing to quit because it is so ingrained.
  13. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Yeah. I used to. Now I just usually hit myself a lot.
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