Do you consider yourself hopelessly screwed up?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by InnerStrength, Jul 14, 2011.

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  1. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    If so, then at least I'm not alone. God, I just wonder what is wrong with me sometimes, I just want to blow my brains out so bad--erase the mistake that the world somehow created. I'm really the best example of a meaningless and irrational universe.
  2. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    Exactly no one gets it, I wish everyone felt this way.
  3. champie

    champie Well-Known Member

    Yes, hopelessly screwed up is exactly how I feel. It seems the more opportunity I have to improve my life ends with me being even more buried in self-loathing and despair.

    I've had every opportunity to do/be whatever I wanted, and yet I have become more worthless to people around me and to society at large.

    I've come to the point where I can't trust a single thought or emotion I have, and I certainly don't trust anything or anybody else around me. I'm paralyzed by second guessing.

    I find it easy to encourage others to remain hopeful and believe in their abilities and character, but I "know" that I have nothing left to believe in for myself.

    Hopeless, indeed.
  4. Well-Known Member

    After dozens of doctors and different meds and therapists and hospitalizations I'm sure I'm broken and can never be fixed.
  5. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    One medication off (and I'm on a myriad of them), and I end up broken again in less than 5 days.

    This is no way to live life.
  6. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    It wouldn't be so bad to be screwed up, but have nifty dancing skills like this guy


    to redeem myself. Unfortunately, I have no brilliance whatsoever to redeem myself.
  7. Kassy

    Kassy Well-Known Member

    Yes, hopelessly screwed up is exactly how I feel too.

    I am 37 in a therapy...again...with med...again...

    You would think, as I saw my 1st counsellor at age of 15, I would be "healed" by now.... but I am not.

    I deeply know that I will feel like that for life.
    Then it just depend of me when that life will stop.

    I guess when I will feel enough is enough, I will be ready to leave.
  8. Kassy

    Kassy Well-Known Member

    Now, I am fully ready for a drink...
  9. Passive

    Passive Member

    Yes. My therapist even stopped talking to me.
  10. kote

    kote Account Closed

    yes pretty screwed!!! but im not going to let it win!!! i want my life back!!! i soooooo much want it back and how dare anything stop me. ive been like this for 6 years - many drs, meds, attempts and feel the grind of everyday hurting more and more. but i do see a way up through my hobby and if i can achieve in that i can be happy and settled. im not ready to throw in the gloves yet although i know im completely screwed.
  11. promontorium

    promontorium Active Member

    I know for a fact I'm hopelessly screwed up. But that's through the good times and the bad.

    I think I've graduated from being suicidal, to just having fits of absolute depression.

    It might be pride I feel, but I certainly feel some positivity in knowing that I am not simply psychologically depressed. Whatever reason I am as fucked up as I am, it isn't some chemical downer. I really am a shitty human. I mean if you made a bell curve of what 'normal' people experience or accomplish in life, and I mean dead normal mundane as shit absolutely average mother fuckers, I would be skewed harshly into the realm of failure. If that isn't a reason to be depressed, then depression doesn't mean anything. I guess the next level is figuring out why I am such a fucking waste of humanity.
  12. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    Oh, I'm so screwed up that I can be called the Queen of the Screwed Up!
    For the past couple of weeks, I have been doing nothing else but screwing up my life and confusing people around me. I suck.
  13. mrd0t

    mrd0t Member

    I know exactly how you feel... I feel worthless.. I feel like God made one handful of mistakes when it came to me... I wonder if it was all his plan for a good old laugh?
  14. Marco

    Marco Well-Known Member

    I couldn't come up with better terms.
  15. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    Yupp. Here I am going on 16 in 13 days and I can honestly say I've been messed up since I was a little kid.. Counseling after counseling.. People labeling me as "special" or claiming that I have certain issues. Bullied since I was 6 years old.. Loosing interest in life itself as well as most people. Oh the list goes on but who cares to hear from a teenager that most would think its just angst?
  16. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Yes... completely and utterly screwed up!!!

    So I get it... and I can guarantee you are not alone!!!

    Hang in there... us screw ups need to hang together and prove we have a place in this world... and who's to say its not the rest of the world who's screwed up for thinking other people to be the proverbial screw ups??!!
  17. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Hell yes I do. The worst is when I try to deal with it. I bloody ramble on for dear life it seems, feels like im unwraveling who I am. But hey, some people actually make me feel better and let me see that there is stuff outside of my own black holes, and that maybe I can have a life. Maybe the answers to healing yourself are no in directly looking at them, but in living through them and strengthening the parts of ourselves that crumble the easiest.

    Oh Im hopeless :sad:
  18. Hoasis

    Hoasis Well-Known Member

    Yeah I think we all feel we are pretty srewed..I guess thats probably the biggest problem we all have, we can never to at the positive. And sometimes I ask myself, what is the meaning of life, when everything is negative and you cant find pleasure and joy in anything?
  19. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Yup, I'm definitely a screw up.
  20. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Yes I am socially screwed up.. I can't be part of this world..After all who wants a depressed skyzophreic for a friend.. Not to mention all the other problems I have..So I just exist in my own little world..
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