Do you ever feel intimidated by your peers?

I'm 26 but I haven't done anything your typical 26 year old has done.

I've never really moved out of my parents house (apart from a brief stint at halls, whilst at university. But I dropped out after 6 weeks).

I've never been in a long term relationship, lived with a partner or been married or had any children.

I don't have my career in check, I'm unemployed and only JUST returned to college to fix where I went wrong, but it'll take 2 years before I've finished my college course, and a further 3 before I'm done with University.

And I've never travelled or been anywhere outside of England (apart from when I was a kid with my parents).

I definitely think this aids my depression, does anybody else?

 

I keep trying to think of things that I could say that would make you feel better but everything sounds really lame. I don't see why you should feel like living at your parents at the age of 26 is bad, not everyone has the incentive to move out young. Also, a career is something you should have passion for and i know what you mean about being unemployed. I just got a job last month and it took some serious hard work but I did it and I think that you should be proud of yourself for trying to go back to college and fix what you think went wrong. Everything takes time. Sorry if this doesn't help you at all, I'm not that great at helping people out sometimes but I really do hope it does :hug:.

 

Stop putting a time scale on things, we don’t have sell by dates, just do it knowing that you’ll be living how you want to be at the end :hug: here if you need to talk

Rose

 

Hi, i'm 29 and just about to go back to school, I have tried to kill myself a few times, but the last 3 to 4 years i've been trying to make myself keep going hoping it will get better. Have tried before with courses and jobs never stay in them for more than a few months before i leave. Am hoping i can do it this time. My problem is that people ask so many questions when they are trying to get to know you and i dont know how to answer. I don't like talking about my past and i always end up keeping quiet, i've been doing it so long that a lot of the time when i try to talk to someone i cant think of anything to say, my head goes blank. As a result i haven't done many things people my age usually would have either. I don't know if this is anything like what you meant, but felt you should know your not the only one who has found themselves stuck and although i am older than you i still think i have a chance to change things. I hope it all goes well for you if you can stick at it long enough i'm sure it will get easier.

 

Although my situation is different, I feel somewhat of the same way.

I got booted from the house at 18, and I've been on my own ever since. I've moved from place to place, doing different things, and often yearning for stability. I periodically check up on my friends, and they're still back in their hometowns. They've settled down; they've started families. And here I am, 27 years old, still bouncing all over the place and taking different jobs like a crack hobo. My biggest desire is to have roots, to have someplace that I can call "home."

I dunno, maybe we're both peering out opposite sides of the same window, wondering how the other side looks. :blink:

 

my friend is 26 and hes in the exact same situation

and im 21 and im in the same situation too and im hoping i improve by the time im 26 if i live that long.

my parents still treat me like im in high school and i feel like my high school years of being socially isolated just keep going on. i thought my life was going to be better after high school.

i even have an early curfew of when im allowed to come home. im not allowed to get drunk. my parents take my phone away if im bad. i feel ashamed that im not "keeping up with my peers" who are graduating college and getting a job.

but i know there are a lot of people in this situation. dont think u are the only 26 year old who is like that because like i said my friend is like that too.

 

Linds, I am probably similar to you ... except that I am 35. Yes, having limited experience in life has been a source of depression for me. All I can really say is, the only way to fix that is to go out and find what you want to do and do it (eg. your hobbies, activities, vocations)... that might help. My whole life I've kept saying to myself that I would "unisolate" myself "later" but please start soon.

Comparing yourself to others, while its tempting I guess, is a surefire way of getting yourself down. Sorry I'm rambling a bit.

 

Your story strikes similarities with my own. I would say try not to put pressure on yourself with future plans. Whatever you do, do it in a relaxed fashion, not for anybody else, but for you.

 

I personally think that life is supposed to be a bit uncomfortable. We cannot know anything new unless we go look for (or stumble upon) it. I understand 100% that you feel happy in your comfort zone, we all do, but we could be so much more happy if we go do things that help us learn new things. Go in small steps. Don't move too fast. Remember life is about the journey not the destination.

"Never take life too seriously, you won't make it out alive." - Bugs Bunny

 

I'm not quite as old as you but I feel simular,

I still live at home, want to move out so badly but it's just not possible.

I tried college but I have no idea what I want to do with my life, I just work in a shop right now and thats it.

As for long term relationships ... well after a few weeks I tend to push everyone away...

I think the fact you have a plan of action, even if it will take years, is a wonderful thing. Time passes so quickly, and college and uni will bring you so many wonderful oppertunities.

Good Luck, and I hope all goes well with you.

 

I can relate a lot to you linds83. I am 22 and am a complete and utter loser compared to my peers. I am very isolated, have had very limited experiences, never had a girlfriend, not social, just want to spend all my time on the computer and TV, have a limited part-time job and not interested in looking for a full-time job, but getting lots of pressure from my dad about it.

I don't think I ever will marry, have children, do normal things everybody else does. All the other 22 year olds feel that they are so young, their life is just beginning, they have a bright future ahead of them, etc. whereas I feel that I will commit suicide within a few years, I really already should have committed suicide, I am a waste of space, a coward. I am a disappointment and a failure to my parents. But I don't think I was destined to be, I think I could have been a normal and successful person. I don't know what went wrong with my life for me to be the biggest loser alive, but something definitely happened. They still think I can have a normal life, but I will most likely disappoint them.

Since my depression began four years ago, it has only dragged me down further and prevented me from breaking out of my very deep rut and become a normal human being, I am a complete recluse, a shut-in. And I feel because I wasted my important younger years being a recluse and so being developmentally behind, that I am cursed like this for the rest of my life and I should kill myself. For instance, what sane girl would want to date or marry a loser that has wasted his youth indoors, such a boring and incomplete shell of a person? Only if I get an arranged marriage in India and that only for her to get American citizenship and dump me of course!

You certainly aren't alone on this forum, there are a lot of us like you, and we sympathize very much with you. I see threads like this all the time with people like us on this great forum. I feel the same, I feel very alone in my situation in real life but this forum shows me there are people like me and can sympathize with me and it gives me some comfort. I really should quit wasting my time with videogames and be active on this forum more with my peers, with you great guys. Nobody will sympathize with me in real life anyways, they are all completely normal, I am the lone very, very black sheep.

I am extremely inferior compared to my peers and very intimidated by them. I am depressed to hear them making normal strides, reaching certain milestones on their path of life, such as getting a job, girlfriend, married, all the things they did in high school, in college, whereas I am just sitting, doing nothing, as they continue to race by me in the race of life. I think I would have to rid my very dark cloud of depression around me first but it won't let me, it makes me think there is no hope.

I think I still have a chance to turn my life around and become normal, I dunno if I can do it, I am at a very important crossroads, to give up and kill myself or to make the decision to drastically change my life around. What will happen?