Do you ever just think maybe it's a good thing

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by meme333, Sep 30, 2012.

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  1. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    Maybe I shouldn't ask as I am not sure how honest you will be
    I just wonder if you ever think it's a good thing. I can't find any reason to be here.
    I have no family...not a single person.
    My "friends" well I guess aren't true friends. They aren't here when it matters.
    One finds it really easy to pick at me and just say it's tough love when it's quite harsh and hurtful.
    And it's always about things I lack confidence in
    Another friend never visits. I visit her or never see her. She never calls and hardly responds if I email.
    Others have lost touch and I"m obviously no loss.
    I am alone and tired. My pets have died and I am not sure I can get another.
    I've tried and am trying going back to school but it's overwhelming for me.
    I am in trauma therapy and have been for years. My therapist is great but I may lose her too due to lack of funding.
    Guess it doesn't matter as she is a therapist and not a real part of my life.

    so it sounds like I have good reason to give up.
    trying to convince myself otherwise this evening but just so sad. why live at this point? I have nothing.
    I have spent this weekend ( as most) alone without so much as an email. I am nobody.
     
  2. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member


    I came back for feedback and no replies.
    I guess enough said
     
  3. ksmith86

    ksmith86 Well-Known Member

    Hey I dont know if this helps but you can email me if you want :) Kinda need somebody to talk to myself right now. PM me. Also I don't know about your situation! It sounds like you have nothing... but there's also nothing tieing you down right? Atleast you can go start a new life if you want. Join the military maybe. Just sounds like you need a change of scenery to me. How old are you?
     
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry I didn't see this before. I totally understand what you're going through...but hold on, it will get better...you are worth it. Don't mind the others and focus on making you happy, on pampering yourself...you deserve it...what makes you happy? what makes you feel safe? maybe get a manicure...just the fact of getting your nails done (even if it's just transparent nail polish) can make you feel better....

    some days I want to cut, I want to die...and that stupid feeling would increase the more I thought about it until i went to bed...so when I really don't feel too good, I go for a nap or go to sleep because when I wake up I tend to feel better...but I noticed that doing something for me helps too...at first it's small..but as you do it more and more...it grows...sadly it takes time...but you'll get there...

    I'm sorry about your therapist, I know she's probably very important to you because you can tell her things and she understand and doesn't judge...maybe things will turn up...

    I hope what i said helps you :)
     
  5. DanteHicks

    DanteHicks Member

    I don't know. To me, I see a certain sense of freedom in that. You could pick up tomorrow and move to another town. No worrying about pets, disappointing others, explaining yourself to those who don't understand. In some ways, I wish I could do that. Just wander off on an adventure until I found a place and situation that made me happy. Being trapped is a horrible position.
     
  6. ksmith86

    ksmith86 Well-Known Member

    Agreed dante, exactly what I thought when I first read this. "trapped" is the whole reason I'm here. I'd love to be in OP's position. How are you feeling btw meme? Still down?
     
  7. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    you can pm me anytime. sorry I am just getting this now but would love to talk to you
     
  8. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    I am going to try to pamper myself tomorrow. Why not spend tons of money I don't have if my alternative is killing myself...nothing to lose and might be happy for a bit
     
  9. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    not being tied down is okay when you think about geting away but it's also that nobody is looking for you.
    if there is a crisis like weather or national emergency nobody will think of me.
    I can just disappear...makes dying easy.
    I want to go away and maybe I will I don't know.
    I'm just so depressed it's killing me. just so lonely
     
  10. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Then how about making some friends here?

    I know it's not perfect, but many of us have made solid friendships on the forum, even though some of the friends are long distance.
    There are many people here who understand, more than you can know, exactly what you are feeling and for many their only friend may be a pet.
    Get chatting, pm, msn or use the chat facility, there are friends to be had here if you take the chance.
     
  11. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    you don't have to spend tons of money to pamper yourself...take a bath with bath salt or bubble bath...or put make up on...or read a good book...I didn't mean to upset you when I said this...
     
  12. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    You didn't upset me. IT's hard for me to do nice things for myself.
     
  13. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I know what you mean. I find it hard too but lately I've been kind of forcing myself to do nice things for me and to say no when it's too much...still it's hard to do
     
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