Do you ever "miss" depression?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by HomerSimpson, Sep 22, 2008.

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  1. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    I have been suicidal and depressed for a long time, and 99.999% of the time I feel this way. Today I was not really depressed I was pretty much nothing if that makes sense. I was not happy, upset, or worried I was just here, and I do not know how to explain it better, but I just felt completely empty and loss. At least when I am depressed or worried there is at least something there. Do you understand what I am trying to say?
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I understand EXACTLY what you are saying.
    Sometimes I sit around. And I suddenly become aware that there is nothing there. And immeditely I call out for my depression, my anxiety, and my panic, because it is very scary to be with nothing. To be without bounds. I think the first step in this is to replace that nothing with support wherever you can get it. And then the last step is to be with and enjoy this nothing which is peace.
    I told my therapist about how I sometimes felt I was ready to move forward but nothing was coming in to replace the bad. She said your system can't run on "nothing," so it will go back to what it knows. And she said that when you get out the panic, anger, etc., you need to replace it with support. If only I had some of that in real life.

  3. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    Yep once again you understand what I am saying. You say replace it with "support", but what do you mean. Replace it with friends, family, etc, if so I am definitely like you I do not have any of that in real life.
  4. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    i feel this way too.
    replacing the "nothing" with support is basically just talking to friends, family, etc. maybe you could just try talking to someone here on the forum. we're not depressed all the time,,,well some of us anyways.
    if you're every feeling "nothing" again, come and talk to me if im on :)

    hope this helps :hug:
  5. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    I hardly ever feel this way. Like I said I am pretty much depressed and suicidal 99.99999% of the time. I would have to talk to someone here, because I really do not have anyone or at least feel close to anyone. My mother knows I am depressed, and when I try to talk to her she usually just says take a pain pill and go to bed. The feeling of "nothing" is definitely a lonely feeling, and as someone who is already alone in the world it is not a good feeling. Thank you everyone.
  6. lilella44

    lilella44 Well-Known Member

    i completely know what you mean!
    even now, when im out of the depths of my depression, i actually miss it in a really weird way, it was a comforting sort of feeling, but so horrible at the same time.
    then id feel numb or empty and want to be depressed.
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I think what is happening here is that, since you guys have suffered from depression for so long, it has become part of your overall identity and you're unable to identify yourself without it. To get better, you have to be able to separate yourself from your depression. Depression doesn't have to be a part of your life. You have to re-learn how to be happy, if that makes any sense. Depression is like a virus that keeps coming back if you dont eradicate it.
  8. Juliaa

    Juliaa Well-Known Member

    i know exactly what you mean,
    soemtimes i just sit there and stare into space,
    like i'm dead or something,
    i actualy like that, not doing anything,
    not listening to anyone,
    i like it, but i know it's bad for my mental health,
    so even if i don't even listen to my own advice you should,
    talk to your friends, listen to music, anything.
    i'm here if you ever need to talk [:
  9. purplefizz

    purplefizz Senior Member

    I don't know how to deal with an elated mood. It puts me on edge, just waiting to crash again. I can't say that I miss it when I'm not sad, but it's an odd feeling.
  10. Temptress

    Temptress Member

    This makes so much sense to me.
    I wouldn't use the word 'miss' but there have been times where things have been okay... even going well.
    But I think maybe I sabotaged them with my pessimism, because I was always waiting for them to f**k up so that when they did I wouldn't be too surprised or hurt.
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