do you fear this?

do you ever fear going to bed early because you know you will wake up in the middle of the night and wont be able to go back to sleep and then all of your sadness and reality of life comes back in your head and you have no one to to talk to because its the middle of the night?
then you contemplate suicide so much that you just fall asleep and then when you do wake up in the morning you cry or get frustrated because you wish you were dead and you want to go back to sleep cause sleeping makes you forget but you know you cant go back to sleep because you have to live life and you have things to get done.

 

I can't tell you how many times I've been there. It's thousands. Yeah, it's pitch black and all you have in your head are missed opportunities, failed romances, failed friendships and self-loathing. The kinda demons that keep me awake.

 

yup. it definitely sucks. that is why i didnt go to bed yet. =/

 

Me too...I am thankful I have friends in other time zones so that if it is really bad, I can text them...maybe this is something you can secure for yourself, like an insurance policy...J

 

exactly!

that is why i go to bed at the same time every night, to prevent it from happening

i find it helps a lot... because it works perfictly for me.

 

I am there right now,, Except I don't go back to sleep..I had a dream that my dad died and it woke me up at 1 am.. So now I wake up then and have to come on the forum to take my mind off it..

 

Yeah, sometimes but other times I prefer the dark and when everyone else is asleep. Just feels peaceful and full of solitude. Time to reflect. Sometimes reflection can be good as well as bad.

 

Aside from some minor differences (sleeping late because you can't sleep, or waking up at 4 am), yes, pretty much every night.

 

Well it's about the same for me but i don't really feel the loneliness that you do, I've never had anyone that i could talk to and talking to a professional wouldn't be acceptable in my family... I wake up every 1-2 hours filled with sadness about myself which makes me feel insanely selfish... I'm used to it though so it's not getting better or worse for me so I just accept it.

The only advice i can give you is to figure out the reason and cling to the people that listens to you, they are not easy to come by.