I dont. I feel like Im too selfless, and have such an empty personality. Ive been like this for a while. Now that I think of it... my whole life Ive felt inferior to everyone around me. I dont try to win competitions, and if I somehow get myself into one, I just build up a battle then make myself lose just so I can make the other person feel better. When I say I feel selfless i mean that I just don't have a will to even strive for the top because I already know someone will just tear me down or make me feel like shit for no reason. Like what did I ever do wrong, that people just like to run their mouths. I swear Ive met so many people with the personality of having to put down others just to feel good about themselves. Why do those people have to exist? For so long now, I try to tell myself nothing matters and that I will be better off alone, but the truth is it does matter and Im just rotting away alone. I was reading on wiki about Schizoid Personality Disorder, and I like felt my heartbeat rise by how much I can relate to it. There is like two sides to me. The side I show, and the side inside. Overt and Covert. Why must I feel so different. Why do I look at things like a psycho. Is this really my fault. Ive been mean to people before but people put this hate inside of me. So what do they expect. Anyone else feel this way?