Do you feel unwanted here?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by EmilyM, Dec 2, 2012.

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  1. EmilyM

    EmilyM New Member

    Because I do. I feel like people wish I'd never come back. Like everything I say is wrong. I feel like one of those people who's so freaking miserable and bad that can't be around normal or even some people here. Like some kind of disease. Like I'd infect everyone.
    I don't think I belong anywhere anymore. I feel like a dirt. I was trying to help people here but it gets harder because I got so miserable that I can barely sign in some days. And then..then you get kicked out just becasuse someone think you could make problems (even though you were not about to do anything nor to make an argument).
    Tell me something about being unwanted and worthless.
    Idk when but I think I'll leave soon. For good. It won't make a difference for any one of you, I know. But..just so you know
     
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Well you know that lots of us do care, Emily.
     
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I'm confused hun - this seems to be your first post - so how have we got a chance to be guilty of not wanting you? ........(Unless, was it that you were always in chat?)
     
  4. forced

    forced Member

    i feel unwanted here as well i had been gone for sometime and now pretty much feel the same as you
     
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Heya, Emily. Sounds like you're having a hard time. Lots of people around here do care and do like you.

    Sometimes we have a bad day where nothing we say or do feels or comes out or is understood the way we meant it to be (I speak from my own experience with these things). Perhaps that happens more when we feel a little frazzled ourselves...We need to be feeling OK ourselves when we help others because helping takes energy from us, and if we need that energy ourselves, we can become more frazzled and more things can come across in a mixed up way.

    How about taking a deep breath, getting a good night's sleep, and seeing if tomorrow is a better day? Good chance it will be better. And rest assured that you are wanted and cared about here. :hug:
     
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Yes, I feel the same way most of the time. I came here because I've been abandoned and had my trust betrayed by people in my life. Unfortunately, the same has happened to me here, and it's hard to open up to people when they end up hurting you. I'm sorry you are feeling this way, but I hope you don't leave. You can talk to me if you want, and I won't make you feel unwanted, because I know all too well how bad that feels.
     
  7. winduptoy

    winduptoy Active Member

    No one seems to notice that I'm here most of the time. Not sure if that's better or worse.
     
  8. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    There are days also when the last thing I want to do is reply to a post or make a post of my own, let alone sign in, but that is perfectly fine, for you do not have to sign in every day; SF is a support forum, so you can sign in whenever you wish, be it every day, once a week or once a year if that is how you feel. And sometimes it is true that you can feel unwanted or ignored here, but keep in mind that everyone here, from regular members to moderators and even administrators all have their own problems that they are dealing with in their own ways, so while it seems that you are ignored, do not always interpret things that way, but more think about keeping up a good appearance on working towards your own healing process, even it that means putting aside some of your own problems (like I do 3/4 of the time) that are eating at you to give a helping hand to someone else who posts that they are finding things especially difficult. Sometimes being able to help another while you are in distress is a lot more worthy in raising your own spirits that help give you a feeling that, while you may feel unwanted, something simple you have said to someone else is proof enough that you really are wanted by others here. You just need to put yourself out there and be seen and heard and offer help and not just expect it.
    Either that, or simply looking at a little beauty such as her :)bubbles:) can sometimes be enough to calm you down.

    g-gao^^
     
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun sorry you are feeling so down You can pm me anytime ok lots of caring people here hun so keep reaching out ok keep talking i hope all will not feel so lonely here and that we all can support each other now hugs
     
  10. Raven

    Raven Guest

    [FONT=&quot]A lot of us feel this way, unwanted, unneeded. I hope you stay around here, most all of us have the same feelings, I know how many times I wonder if I belong here, if it would be better without me. It is part of who we are, no matter how good, no matter what we do we fill that we are unwanted, it is false but still I think that feeling can persist. [/FONT]
     
  11. Jackie's Strength

    Jackie's Strength Staff Alumni

    First of all, HUGE hugs. I can really hear how much you are hurting and I wish I could take away at least some of that pain to make it a little more bearable. I can relate to how you feel in many ways... I often feel unwanted and as though I am garbage and poisonous to those around me. I also feel terribly alone and as though I deserve to be punished... maybe you can relate to that, too. Please know that you are not alone and please stay strong. You are definitely wanted here, we are all in this together :hug:
     
  12. EmilyM

    EmilyM New Member

    Always in chat you are right
     
  13. Tired John

    Tired John Well-Known Member

    Hi Emily, I don't think I've spoken with you before, I'm pretty new here. I share those same feelings, maybe most of us do. It's hard to get out from under them, but there are some very nice people here to try and help. And if someone rubs you the wrong way, just try to understand that they are battling their own demons. We don't always get our meaning across as well as we'd like, but the intent is good.
     
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Emily- I want you here. I really like you. I think you're a really sweet person. You mention you say wrong things... we all do! It's part of being human! Chin up honey :)
     
  15. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hi, Emily.

    You don't know me, and I don't go into chat, but I do know that when I read what you wrote about how you feel, that I've felt similarly - not just here, but everywhere, for a long time. What I like about here is, I also read that so many others feel the same way that I do (young and older), so it helps me not feel so alone, and see that perhaps others are feeling as insecure as I do, so perhaps its not me; or if it is me, perhaps its only how I feel, not how others would perceive me. I don't write a lot, publicly, due to my insecurities. At least you're in chat! You're doing better than I. I do hope you stay around, simply because you sound so very sensitive and sweet, and I would hate to see you be truly alone. This is a good place. Its a place where we all can come and feel absolutely wretched and insecure, together, and perhaps, in doing so, we may not feel so alone, wretched and insecure. :hug:
     
  16. Bitterwood

    Bitterwood Member

    Hey, Emily

    I don't know if this will make any difference to you, but i honestly hope it does. I know very well how it feels when you think nobody cares. I think that 75% of my time also. I also know that when your mind is set in that way, you'll keep believing it no matter how many comforting words you get from anybody. The bright side of it is...it's partially just in your head. Loneliness over long periods has that effect.

    But its not always true. People care. Real friends care. If you have any of those, confess how you feel every now and then and they will make you feel better. At least mine do. All that being said, i also feel like i don't belong anywhere, that dying is my only one way solution, that i'm beyond ever being normal or having a future. I know those things every day.

    I guess one of my perks/curses is that im pretty much chronically indifferent, if that term even exists. I have been hurting for so long, that i've grown indifferent to mostly everything that surrounds me. It can be one way or the other, i don't really care.

    And if nothing i was blabbering about earlier :), applies to you, maybe just knowing that other people are in plenty of pain too might make you feel better, as twisted as that sounds. Also if you ever feel lonely and wanna chat, i've been told i'm a pretty good listener. Take care.
     
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