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Do you guys feel the same way?

HappyKitty

•✮• SF's pet kitty, the cheerful and purest. •✮•
#1
yesterday.... during family night walk where I’ve been dragged my ass too... And while I appreciate there are aunts and cousins that care..... I still find it annoyed how some people won’t leave me alone like first ...

There would be some relatives would berate me about my weight...
They would also berate me about not having a proper job just because I’m turning 27 yo soon this year...

They, however, do not know that I am focusing on recovery and while on recovery, I am actually working on building my own retail, even my parents had no choice but to support me with this for the sake of my health but I don’t tell my relatives much about it cause then I’m pretty sure they’d be sarcastic about it and saying I should be supporting myself, blablabla....

I literaly do come from family of household filled with bad influences when I am trying to past self-blame and guilt.

I have been getting job offers as well recently, sadly, I had no green light to take. I wish I can take it impulsively but I’ve learned my lesson about the consequences and regret that will come after if I don’t listen to doctors advice.

I understand money can be so vital in life and for survival, also on how people define their own success and I am desperate, yes, my health wise is just so frustrating right now that I’d just do starting to feel ‘depress’ for not working.

I’m pretty sure my big sister would be disappointed if she knows this thought pop ups again cause she knows I don’t thrive well under stress and pressure but come’on, I have been feeling withdrawn since doctors advice that bumped me out, detached from not sleeping well and then this yes, starting to feel depress from not working. Augh.

Idk what to do
 
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Sad Elf

Well-Known Member
#2
@HappyKitty if you take the time now to understand yourself, learn how to live with your brain and the thinks it throws at you, in the long run this will be the very best investment and start to adult life as possible. I think if I was mentally strong I could conquer most things in my life, learning the skills you need now to be mentally strong will stand you in good stead.

My job is very important to me as I can work and forget about all my other problems, s that healthy? Probably not. Do I get taken advantage of because I am a hard worker? Yes. If I had dealt with my problems maybe I would have a different life. Yes working is good to have as an aim, but understanding yourself is the most important skill anyone can have.

So in short, ignore them, your doing great as you are!!
 

HappyKitty

•✮• SF's pet kitty, the cheerful and purest. •✮•
#3
@HappyKittyin the long run this will be the very best investment and start to adult life as possible.
thanks for the advices. but define the meaning of “adult,” though, what does maturity mean to you? like aren’t we not adult enough just because we’re sensitive? don’t we deserve to have support? aren’t we not adult just because we need help? or just because we’re emotional/weak? like forgive my foul language but do we really need to be some kind of big fuck to measure our worth and to be approved as adult? its getting on my nerves.

I just feel this is a never ending cycle, like idky people would keep looking down on you just because we’re insignificant, inadequate, or not wise enough to be so mature etc... its a never ending vicious cycle like I would know, not everyone is worth impressing and the young adults doesn’t deserve to have their struggles being validated, am I right? cause we are supposedly be able to cope with stress..... ? the seniors are more worse per se....
 

HappyKitty

•✮• SF's pet kitty, the cheerful and purest. •✮•
#4
I’m starting to think, if I need to be a mature ass, I don’t want to come to this site anymore.
 

johnDoen

Outsider in the Realm of Lost and Found
#5
yesterday.... during family night walk where I’ve been dragged my ass too... And while I appreciate there are aunts and cousins that care..... I still find it annoyed how some people won’t leave me alone like first ...

There would be some relatives would berate me about my weight...
They would also berate me about not having a proper job just because I’m turning 27 yo soon this year...

They, however, do not know that I am focusing on recovery and while on recovery, I am actually working on building my own retail, even my parents had no choice but to support me with this for the sake of my health but I don’t tell my relatives much about it cause then I’m pretty sure they’d be sarcastic about it and saying I should be supporting myself, blablabla....

I literaly do come from family of household filled with bad influences when I am trying to past self-blame and guilt.

I have been getting job offers as well recently, sadly, I had no green light to take. I wish I can take it impulsively but I’ve learned my lesson about the consequences and regret that will come after if I don’t listen to doctors advice.

I understand money can be so vital in life and for survival, also on how people define their own success and I am desperate, yes, my health wise is just so frustrating right now that I’d just do starting to feel ‘depress’ for not working.

I’m pretty sure my big sister would be disappointed if she knows this thought pop ups again cause she knows I don’t thrive well under stress and pressure but come’on, I have been feeling withdrawn since doctors advice that bumped me out, detached from not sleeping well and then this yes, starting to feel depress from not working. Augh.

Idk what to do
Money is not the most important thing in life. They are printing more in the banks. All those colorful pieces of metal, rock, shell, paper, cloth, plastic and code (I mean those cryptocurrencies) have a meaning in our lives because we all agree about that.

You define your own successes. It can be having a supportive community (even online), improving health or making positive changes to the world around you. Money is just simply a tool to achieve such successes.

Starting slow is better than nothing. A job done right is proper job, even if it's just part-time, burger slipper kind of job (I don't know your job, to be honest). Health is important, especially during a pandemic.

I'm about your age, too. We are all mature. We just need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to vent to, a kind heart to listen to, a friend overall. To be honest, this site allows me to be more real to myself by speaking about my emotions, something I cannot have in real life. Men don't cry, I slapped myself for crying today. It's not as painful as my broken mind. (Sorry on these lines, this is your thread. Please, go on.)
 
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lifetalkz

Well-Known Member
#6
30+ years ago I was in your shoes (almost exactly). I won't bore with you with the details of the situation, I will just tell you this. I felt like an outsider in my own family and I desperately wanted to change that situation and be loved and accepted by my parents and siblings. I can say now that I sacrificed my very soul to do what I believed they wanted me to do, so that they would love and care about me. In the end though, no matter what I did, that never happened. I'm 58 years old-when I ask myself what I could have done differently back then, to change the outcome my answer is always the same....if I could go back 30+ years I would focus my time and energy on loving and accepting myself (exactly as I was), not worrying to the point of exhaustion about what they all thought of me.

I would also have spent a good deal of time accepting the difficult truth about the situation-I was a challenge for them that they had no interest in participating in. I didn't fit neatly into any of their boxes. Tearing down my barriers was a task that required far too much effort for them-they'd all decided that I simply wasn't worth all of the trouble. I'm not saying that's the case in your case-but I am saying that (in my experience anyway) nothing you will ever do is going to change their opinion of you-but there are a million things that you can do to change your opinion of yourself and give yourself the unconditional love and acceptance that you deserve.

You are a beautiful soul, a child of God-believe in yourself and know that you're worth every effort, and doing everything that is difficult so that you can find happiness and peace for yourself. I wish you all the very best-LT
 

Nick

☆☆Admin-tastic ☆☆
Admin
SF Social Media
SF Artist
SF Supporter
#7
We live in a world that doesn't understand chronic health and mental health conditions. If you have both it's an even rougher road. You need to do what's best to take care of you. The reality is no matter what you do it might not be enough to make your family happy. I know that no matter what I accomplish it will always fall short of what my family thinks I should do.

As for being mature, well I'm not so sure I'm mature and I'm not so certain I want or need to be. I missed out on childhood. I never got to be kid. So who cares if I want to enjoy some of those things now? It doesn't make may any less an adult. You are who are kitty. You don't need to be someone else.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#8
yesterday.... during family night walk where I’ve been dragged my ass too... And while I appreciate there are aunts and cousins that care..... I still find it annoyed how some people won’t leave me alone like first ...

There would be some relatives would berate me about my weight...
They would also berate me about not having a proper job just because I’m turning 27 yo soon this year...

They, however, do not know that I am focusing on recovery and while on recovery, I am actually working on building my own retail, even my parents had no choice but to support me with this for the sake of my health but I don’t tell my relatives much about it cause then I’m pretty sure they’d be sarcastic about it and saying I should be supporting myself, blablabla....

I literaly do come from family of household filled with bad influences when I am trying to past self-blame and guilt.

I have been getting job offers as well recently, sadly, I had no green light to take. I wish I can take it impulsively but I’ve learned my lesson about the consequences and regret that will come after if I don’t listen to doctors advice.

I understand money can be so vital in life and for survival, also on how people define their own success and I am desperate, yes, my health wise is just so frustrating right now that I’d just do starting to feel ‘depress’ for not working.

I’m pretty sure my big sister would be disappointed if she knows this thought pop ups again cause she knows I don’t thrive well under stress and pressure but come’on, I have been feeling withdrawn since doctors advice that bumped me out, detached from not sleeping well and then this yes, starting to feel depress from not working. Augh.

Idk what to do
you have to concentrate on your health first. if you can get better then you will be able to succeed in your job or business. and it's no ones business but yours, your doctors, and your parents since they are helping you. so please take care of your health first, the rest will come in time.

mike...*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#9
I’m starting to think, if I need to be a mature ass, I don’t want to come to this site anymore.
you are welcome here as you are. and for my 2 cents i think you are very mature. you have been through a lot and have made many adult and mature decisions. plus you make people here very happy when you spread your sunshine to those that need it.

mike...*hug*shake
 

HappyKitty

•✮• SF's pet kitty, the cheerful and purest. •✮•
#10
Thanks everyone. I feel atm, while its not meant to cut ties, I should take a break from my family unless my cousin dragged me too cause she can’t be alone with my aunts as well, some are so toxic. I’m just glad my friend Diyana cheered me up today, she helped me breathe. Her comebacks are so funny. I love playing revenge.

She told me “next time when you meet your aunt, tell her to worry about herself. If she wants you to be an “adult” so much, you can go worry about yourself. What a bitch to make my friend cry like that.”
 

HappyKitty

•✮• SF's pet kitty, the cheerful and purest. •✮•
#11
I just wish, I can cope with stress well. I was just thinking about my previous part time job I took, like I took it impulsively whenever this happens, got me so desperate but subconsciously, I still find it hard to be aware it could worsen my health. Like the previous part time job I did, actually strained my entire lower back (ER says) even if I did enjoy it so much and the colleagues are family knit environment. Getting jobs is so easy for me, now just imagine if I took the new job offers (offering me $3k/monthly) impulsively again. I’m sorry everyone, I just haven’t been taking my Ritalin till my doc fix my sleep - I’ve been growing so impatient. I’m just glad I have protective friends, I can’t do alone.. Actually, no one can struggle alone.

Everyone would go “don’t you think its not sensible to be working so hard again while your doctors are still sorting out your medical issues?”

I am desperate
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#12
@HappyKitty

It is your life. You call the shots, no one else. It isn't important what others think of you. Be yourself because you are perfect just the way you are and I'm so proud of you, my 'lil sweet god daughter 💝 starting her own business, you go girl, you have nothing to prove but prove them wrong to tick them off :D *hug

One thing I must say though is you must take your doctor's advice over anyone else's especially due to your health. Health is always the priority it is your wealth.

Please do not ever stop coming here. You are an adult, mature, caring, loyal and a wonderful friend. Who cares what everyone else thinks eh?

More power to you. Again, so proud of you and all your talents!

*hug 🥰🌈✨👍

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