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Do you have images like this? ***trigger*

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BlackPegasus, Feb 22, 2008.

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  1. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    I've brought this up numerous times but I curious if others have vivid mental images of killing themselves..almost like when we day dream. I had the images of blood flowing from my wrist again today. And it is like a daydream. Like some part of me desires it. I suppose it's my stupidity and the recent choices I seem to keep making. Perhaps it's my death wish. I'm not gonna do it right now but I keep visualizing cutting deep into my wrist with my knife.

    I hate myself for my choices then I feel like dieing but I keep making bad choices to the point I am stuck in a dangerous situation and I know it. It's almost as if I can't kill myself I'm gonna be sure somebody else does.

    I'm becoming someone I once fantasized about being.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 22, 2008
  2. nedflanders

    nedflanders Well-Known Member

    That's been happening to me lately. I was holding a gasoline can last week, when I was struck with the sudden image of torching myself.

    It's a little unusual for me, since I have a different, preferred method that I daydream about. This was quite unexpected and unintentional. Dunno what it all means.
  3. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    Yea. It sort of fits each situation. If I'm in a elevator I envision jumping off the roof. When seeing a train passing I imagine jumping in front of it. It goes on like this.

    The weird part is I don't want to be killed by someone else as far as I know but I keep looking for it..or finding it by accident and pursuing it.
  4. Barbados

    Barbados Well-Known Member

    I often find that when I'm around tall buildings or train tracks that I could just make the choice there and then, not say anything just do it and save myself the worry. I've come very close before to doing things on the spare of the moment. My mental picture though are alot more disturbing.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 23, 2008
  5. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Yes... I see it a lot....
  6. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Er, yeah..Not very pleasant.
  7. almosteasy

    almosteasy Well-Known Member

    Yes I have just one, my plan, swimming through my head many times a day. I sit with my gun in my hand at the beach at night. It’s a cool, comfortable and breezy night. I'm full of regret and I'm very scared about god's punishment. But the beach makes me feel at peace, I ask god for forgiveness and pull the trigger.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    yes, i can sometimes see myself hanging...it feels good
  9. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni


    If you ever want to talk aout anything, feel free to PM me. I'm always here for you!! :smile:
  10. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I offen imagine how im killing myself. Not in a special way i had, but in different ways. Im thinking of it a couple of times every day. And, it doesnt scares me. Actually its a nice feeling. I feel like ill be free at last. What really scares me when im thinking of that, is because im thinking that im so unlucky, that something is gonna go in a wrong way, and ill stay alive, but in a situation when i couldnt do it again, like in a hospital, or in a coma, or in a bed for the rest of my life...
  11. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    I have to admit it isn't unpleasant in my thoughts. For me too it's like a relief which is why I compare it to a daydream. but then the reality of it would be pain and like you said the chance of failure. For me though it is a bit disturbing because I am thinking about it in such a casual way.
  12. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    I think about that kind of stuff all the time. I picture myself crashing the car, jumping in front of a train, cutting my wrist, hanging, etc.
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