Do you lack love in your life?

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Azul, Oct 12, 2007.

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  1. Azul

    Azul Well-Known Member

    Probably been discussed already.

    I was just wondering how many of us who are feeling suicidal feel they are lacking in love more than most people?

    I am interested in this because I was talking to someone who thought a majority of depression and mental illness could be reduced to a lack of love.

    I guess I'm talking about the romantic type of love, affection, not necessarily sex, though that is also a part of it

    Please share your thoughts.
     
  2. missdiana86

    missdiana86 Active Member

    i suffer from lack of love...and it's poisoning me...and also being unsure about my future...have nothing to aim to...:blink:
     
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    Ive never been loved in my life
    love is fake
    doesnt exist
    its all lies
     
  4. am I alive

    am I alive Well-Known Member

    very much
     
  5. Reaper_01

    Reaper_01 Member

    I've been in lust many times.

    I have never ever been in love.

    "I like you" is very different from "I love you".

    At my advanced age I wonder if I will ever be in love.
     
  6. mb75

    mb75 Well-Known Member

    I can noy lack or miss something I never got in the first place
     
  7. lebigmac

    lebigmac Well-Known Member

    Yeah, but I create my own loneliness, so I'm really in no position to complain.
     
  8. Nessarose

    Nessarose Well-Known Member

    I don't want it because I'm not fit for a relationship in any sense. I even avoid friends. Maybe that's part of my depression, but then again, being around people really, really depresses me, too. Any interaction does. I have a great family, and I love them, but outside of that and a few friends who are adamant to keep in touch I'm satisfied with being a recluse.
     
  9. Whitewolf

    Whitewolf Well-Known Member

    Yup. :sad:
     
  10. elliebelle

    elliebelle Active Member

    I definitely lack love. Most of the time I'm by myself without anyone to care about me. I have only a couple friends and while I've had relationships they have never been loving. Being alone definitely makes you more depressed. I feel like anything could happen and pretty much no one would notice.
     
  11. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Yes, romantic and otherwise.
     
  12. neverdie

    neverdie Guest

    My family loves me, but I need the love from a girl, not just someone to say they love me, but more the they are IN love with me :sad:
     
  13. expressive_child

    expressive_child Well-Known Member

    I have never really been loved anyway... I wish I am just lacking of it... But fact is, I have none..
     
  14. protonaut

    protonaut Well-Known Member

    I have no friends, and no significant other either.

    It's no big deal, certainly I could be in situations that are far worse.
     
  15. $MyName

    $MyName Well-Known Member

    It's an interesting thought. I know I've not got much experience with relationships, nor has anyone been in love with me, and that actually is a big deal to me, as having a loving relationship is #1 on my list of things to get from life.

    Having it as a high priority is probably unhealthy, and only causes me more trouble, but I can't help wanting what I want, I guess. I do have my feelings of lonliness and wanting someone to share thoughts and time with, and yet I avoid going out and meeting people due to fears and a general lack of confidence.... It's quite bad really.
     
  16. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    I definitely lack love which adds to my depression. Schizophrenia is my biggest issue tho, well, that and all the bad mistakes I have made throughout my life.
     
  17. Azul

    Azul Well-Known Member

    Sometimes I think it'd be easier if we lived in a society with arranged marriages instead of this sexual liberalism where there are winners with many partners and losers with none, at least there is a fair distribution of love there.
     
  18. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    Right now, yes. But being in a loving relationship didn't make my depression better.
     
  19. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    I lack love in my life and it doesn't bother me.
    There are reasons I lack love in my life and they concern me.
     
  20. protonaut

    protonaut Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a recipe for disaster. :mellow:

    I do see what you're saying though. I really don't know much about arranged marriages at all. I guess the success of such practices would depend a lot on the expectations of the arrangement. It was pretty common amongst royal families throughout history. Some could be purely for ceremonial purposes to form a bond between two families, or it could be a serious life-long commitment with grave consequences if either partner tried to back out on the deal.

    Almost all societies have idealistic expectations of marriage in general. Western definitions of marriage are not very realistic either. It's a concept that is probably doomed to failure in many cases, simply because it demands too much of human nature. People change, conflicts are bound to occur, it creates unnecessary emotional stress in life.

    If two people are happy together, why can't they remain boyfriend and girlfriend? Why does the government give more financial support to married couples? There is always this pressure from society to get married, and I think it's wrong. I'm not saying people shouldn't marry, just that there's really no rush to do so - nor is there any real obligation that I can see. What is the purpose? Tradition? Religion? Recognition from society?

    Some might argue it's about making a commitment, and about trust. Well, if a man and woman truly trust each other, then why be forced together by law, and sign prenuptial agreements? Maybe someone else sees the point I'm trying to make here.

    Anyway, I agree that it's unfortunate so many people lack relationships while others are always enjoying the company of partners, but there is not always a reasonable solution to such problems.

    If people want to find a partner badly enough, and really have the courage to make the effort - I would say most can find someone who's right for them. Motivation and confidence (which is hard to learn) is usually the key. Not for all though. Children are often told they can grow up to find the partner of their dreams, can be successful in any profession, etc. which is obviously bull. Maybe we ought to be more honest with children, and tell them there's no way of knowing what the future holds, it could be good or bad. If anything, we should be prepared for the worst, and learn how to accept disappointment as a natural part of life. I think that much of depression comes from unnatural expectations, as well as inappropriate conditioning - building illusionary walls around children to make life seem perfect.

    When children are taught to acknowledge reality early on in life, taught responsibility, do they tend to grow up as well-adjusted adults? It certainly would depend on the circumstances, and the learning methods employed, but it's definitely something to think about.

    Something else to add - though romantic relationships are a struggle, friendships are usually not, fortunately. At least it's possible for everyone to make friends, if they want to. Being in the right social environment is critical though.

    Well, you decide. These are some of my initial thoughts on the matter. Certainly conditions will improve when more solutions are introduced. These types of problems are a good reason for humanity to focus on Psychology.
     
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