Sometimes I think it'd be easier if we lived in a society with arranged marriages instead of this sexual liberalism where there are winners with many partners and losers with none, at least there is a fair distribution of love there.
Sounds like a recipe for disaster. :mellow:
I do see what you're saying though. I really don't know much about arranged marriages at all. I guess the success of such practices would depend a lot on the expectations of the arrangement. It was pretty common amongst royal families throughout history. Some could be purely for ceremonial purposes to form a bond between two families, or it could be a serious life-long commitment with grave consequences if either partner tried to back out on the deal.
Almost all societies have idealistic expectations of marriage in general. Western definitions of marriage are not very realistic either. It's a concept that is probably doomed to failure in many cases, simply because it demands too much of human nature. People change, conflicts are bound to occur, it creates unnecessary emotional stress in life.
If two people are happy together, why can't they remain boyfriend and girlfriend? Why does the government give more financial support to married couples? There is always this pressure from society to get married, and I think it's wrong. I'm not saying people shouldn't marry, just that there's really no rush to do so - nor is there any real obligation that I can see. What is the purpose? Tradition? Religion? Recognition from society?
Some might argue it's about making a commitment, and about trust. Well, if a man and woman truly trust each other, then why be forced together by law, and sign prenuptial agreements? Maybe someone else sees the point I'm trying to make here.
Anyway, I agree that it's unfortunate so many people lack relationships while others are always enjoying the company of partners, but there is not always a reasonable solution to such problems.
If people want to find a partner badly enough, and really have the courage to make the effort - I would say most can find someone who's right for them. Motivation and confidence (which is hard to learn) is usually the key. Not for all though. Children are often told they can grow up to find the partner of their dreams, can be successful in any profession, etc. which is obviously bull. Maybe we ought to be more honest with children, and tell them there's no way of knowing what the future holds, it could be good or bad. If anything, we should be prepared for the worst, and learn how to accept disappointment as a natural part of life. I think that much of depression comes from unnatural expectations, as well as inappropriate conditioning - building illusionary walls around children to make life seem perfect.
When children are taught to acknowledge reality early on in life, taught responsibility, do they tend to grow up as well-adjusted adults? It certainly would depend on the circumstances, and the learning methods employed, but it's definitely something to think about.
Something else to add - though romantic relationships are a struggle, friendships are usually not, fortunately. At least it's possible for everyone to make friends, if they want to. Being in the right social environment is critical though.
Well, you decide. These are some of my initial thoughts on the matter. Certainly conditions will improve when more solutions are introduced. These types of problems are a good reason for humanity to focus on Psychology.