Do you like your family?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by liktheangel, Apr 2, 2013.

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  1. liktheangel

    liktheangel Active Member

    Me and my sister got into a huge argument in the car on the way to pick-up some food. It started with me telling her about my video project for my class and how I wanted her to talk the film seriously even though it's a rough draft and I wanted her to give me some real, constructive criticism about my film. The only reason I said that was because I showed the film to my mother who half watched and half payed attention to it. I really felt like my mother didn't get the just of the film and her criticism wasn't good enough for me.

    My sister than starts in about how in the real world people are mean and "REAL". I've heard this speech about twenty times before and I just get so tired of hearing it because I have heard it so much. I know that people are mean and aren't always going to be "nice". I was always the weird shy quiet fat ugly girl (still am) so I got picked on and bullied quite a bit. I've had some downright mean things said to my face and my back. My family has been quite mean to me since I was a child. My family has said just as many mean things as my classmates,strangers, supposed friends,etc.

    When she says things about people not being nice, I know that personally and I feel like it's denying my experiences in life esp. with teasing. My sister is 32 and I'm 21 and of course she knows more than me. Some things she say's I do try to listen to. She's one of those mean pretty girls and she knows it. A couple of months ago she told me and my mom this: "I don't have many female friends because 1. people think I'm mean and 2. Women are jealous of my looks." I spent my youth being stepped on by girls just like that. My mother is a bully as well.

    My whole life they have been telling me I need to toughen up, get tough,etc. I feel like this whole "I keepz it real""I'm just so honest" thing is an excuse for people to say rude and mean things without consequence. It's one thing to tell the truth and to stand up for yourself but that doesn't mean you can walk over other people. I feel like a lot of these people wouldn't say things to people who they think would stand up to them and say something back.

    I don't come from a nice gentle loving family. My family has never been that way ever! They've always been mean,bullies, and even abusive. I'm so jealous of people who come from happy loving families were they were encouraged. In my family almost everything is negative and we're usually fighting every other day and it gets violent. However, there are a lot of people faking their families "happiness" in public too.

    I love my family but I just don't like them, I feel like they don't like me either. I see how racist and bullying they are. Yet I'm not a perfect picture either. I can be rude and mean sometimes. I said a rude thing to my sister when we were fighting and I feel horrible about it. I want to be a better person. I've been trying lately and it's difficult. I need therapy because there is just no way I can go on without. In a couple of months I'm leaving the city to go to college somewhere and live on my own. I'm a bit excited to get away because I've always wanted to leave.

    I was planning a sort of family/family friend trip to Las Vegas for over the Summer but now I'm thinking about canceling it. Too much drama and I have other things going on.
  2. broke

    broke Well-Known Member

    I hated my family (really HATED) them at your age. After taking a few years away from them and getting my head straight, and realizing they have nothing over me that I don't give them, I was able to take some joy in them. I still don't 'like' them, but I do like the family experience when it goes well. When it doesn't go well, I leave. No dramatic exit, a polite round of goodbyes and if people are like "aw, why are you leaving already", I just smile and say it is time for me to go.

    I can feel what you are saying about family members saying "in the real world" people are mean, so they are just "keepin it real yo". My WIFE of all people is exactly like that. Yes the world is an incredibly harsh place full of self-loathing back-stabbing individuals who narcissistically project their internal negativity onto the people around them, it is a hostile environment of incredible resistance. That is why family is supposed to be a sanctuary. A place and people you can go to for support and love and help. A shelter in the storm.

    About the pretty girl thing- I will say this never having seen you and going only by what you are saying; I have the feeling that sooner or later you are going to realize your own beauty and that when you do, you are as gentle about looks as you are now.

    One last thing, please do not ever let ANYONE change who you are. That might be cliché but you gotta hold onto yourself. By that I mean if you feel right about being nice to people and treating people the way you want to be treated, do not ever change that. Don't let someone upset you into being mean to them or anyone. Good luck :)
  3. liktheangel

    liktheangel Active Member

    I don't hate them but we don't like each because I'm so different and difficult. I'm interested in a lot of things they don't like or understand and it's a similar thing to how I see them.

    I added that thing about appearance because it does effect my life but I'm trying to change my looks for the better. It's a struggle and it probably always will be.

    I want to change for myself into a better,stronger,positive and happier person for myself mainly.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I love my family, sure we have our ups and downs but at the end of the day they're all I got, other than my boyfriend. We fight, we argue, we make up, thats families for ya :)
  5. paulhewson

    paulhewson Well-Known Member

    I feel indifferent towards my family.
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I don't hate them, but they can be annoying as hell sometimes. Sometimes I feel like the most sane of them all, and that's not saying much.
  7. Senada

    Senada Well-Known Member

    I love my family. I honestly do. And I think every one of them is amazing people (in their own way). Sure we've had arguments and problems (I only have brothers, haha!), and of course we are different people with different opinions and ways to react. But we're still a loving family that will stand by each other no matter what.
  8. Armored

    Armored Member

    my internal family is rather distant. i have two step brothers who are close to 12 years older than me. i am beginning to get closer to one of them, though. my parents are divorced and i only see my father on weekends. i wish it was vice-versa because i feel like i'm more closer to my father than my mother and get along better.

    my external family on my mom's side is very distant because they don't get along. it's a shame and out of my control. i don't see one set of cousins at all. but the two set of cousins i do see, we're very reserved around each other. it's like we've inherited customs from our parents to not exactly get close to each other.

    but as far as my dad's side goes, i enjoy their company. my aunt teaches at my school and i see her everyday, have a class with her in fact. she's really laid back and everyone loves her haha.

    my ideas of family custom values are skewed because of my mother's shaky relationships with her siblings, so it seems and it's quite a depressing thought.
  9. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    me and my family don't get on at all.

    in fact- they are to blame quite a lot for my younger suicidal thoughts
  10. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I'm ambivalent, most of the time.
  11. souncide

    souncide Well-Known Member

    Not my whole family. There are some people that I'd rather see dead, so I could go to their funeral with a smile on my face. But, of course, there are those that I would give my life to save theirs.
  12. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    My family is really complicated and split in a million different directions. There are some people I'm close with, but then others (like my sisters) that I have no connection at all with.
  13. CorruptedAngel

    CorruptedAngel New Member

    They're okay. It's hard to tell when they love me or not when they are tired though.
  14. bjorkiii

    bjorkiii Member

    Their just an emotional attachment that unfortunately have me as a son, i should do something about the situation.
  15. katrina77

    katrina77 Guest

    Do I like my family? Let's see......... My mom and dad were abusive in every way they could possibly think to be. My brother is a selfish dick who wouldn't give anyone a dime to save their life, even though he very wealthy and doesn't have to work. My husband is the reason I want to kill myself, he is abusive and a narcissist.

    So, do I like my family? Hell no.
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