Hey yeah hun GE's right we dont want to lose you!!!!None of us do and you are very valuable here hugs!!!im sorry your feeling so awful.We are here if you want to talk osme more and as always please know you can also PM me anytime.
You ARE worth the time - every second of it and more hun.Hugs!Whoever said that was being cruel and unfair IMHO [dont mean to offend by the way!!] and i think they got it wrong and since ive always be rebelious i'll make up my own mind what i think and it certainly is not that hun!!!
i am sorry you feel so low TDM.i am here for you and as always my PM box is open.How are you today?i wish i could do more but i so hear your pain right now hun.i wanted to let you know that at least.
Thats the least i could do,i feel.i know it cant bring you much comfort right now but i hope maybe just a little at least.
Thanks Kath... I just hate things the way they are at the moment and I have a crapload of stuff I *should* be trying to get done but I can't be stuffed. And I really really really really wish that I could just go to sleep and never wake up.
How much longer does she want this to drag on for? She says that she won't stand down so easily this time but she ends up giving in really soon anyway. I hate it. She always says that she'll end up separating from him but she never does because she always ends up forgiving him again, or so she says. I hate it... I'm sick of it when they fight late at night and so I cant go to sleep and so I'm dead tired then next day. I cant stand it when I have to put up with them when they do that, and I cant stand it when they just ignore me. I hate it, Im more of a parent to them and myself nowadays than they are to me. I get even less sleep than my usual meagre amount. And people at school wonder why I'm in a bad mood. Some of them even say that they'd like to be me for a day... when they say that I just laugh. If only they knew. If only, if only.
And another thing to think about... Dad wrote a note to Mum... she hid it but I found it by accident. He sounded very strange in the note, for lack of any better words to describe it. But to cut a long story short he was harsh on himself... and he was beating himself up a lot in the note... and its the last line that really worried me... it sounded slightly suicidal... I asked Mum about it but she isnt worried... which has gotten ME worried. I dunno. Maybe I'm just a worrywart.
I'm here... I'm surviving. And now I really dont know what to make of this whole thing. Mum says that she's forgiven him, (again, :dry: ) but then her and Dad just don't talk at all now really other than a few occasional words, eg "pass the salt". Dad honestly knows nothing about me anymore I swear, he doesnt even know that I'm doing athletics this year, even though the training schedule for this year is pinned onto the fridge, in big black letters. He doesnt know that I hate pink with a passion, or that I hate a make up piano lesson on Friday. He even thought I still do horseriding, even though HE was the one that made me quit it those years ago. All he ever seems to care about is his work and his business. I hate it. I mean, well sure, its not like he's ever REALLY been there for starters, but its still gotten worse than when I was say, seven. And then the thing is I spoke to Mum about it... and she says to tell him... but the thing that pisses me off even more is that when I *do* talk to Dad, he says to tell it to Mum... that SHE wont listen... I mean wtf? Who am I meant to believe here? Its not fair, because then they just go and talk to each other and then Mum drags me into the room and gets me dragged into the whole thing again and I cant stand that because I got enough of that when I was in primary school - she used to threaten me if I didnt talk to him, but I'm not as naive as that now... and I THOUGHT I COULD just let them sort their own thing out, and look after myself slightly more. But no, I still just HAVE to get dragged into it all again. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
ok i think I'm done ranting now... sorry if I just completely avoided the questions...