Do you remember your first cut?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by theaterfreak, Feb 23, 2011.

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  1. theaterfreak

    theaterfreak Well-Known Member

    on this thread we're all talking about cutting and when we last cut. but i was wondering if you remember the first cut you made. mine was about 8 years ago, i was sharping a new sword and wanted to see how sharp it was.
     
  2. spiritxfade

    spiritxfade Well-Known Member

    Yup, I remember. I was feeling like crap, and I tried to cut myself with a paperclip. Didn't really work- just raised a few welts. First time I actually managed to break skin was with a safety pin in the bathroom during summer camp.
     
  3. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    Yah Id say it was 6 months ago(I could check thread history,but I'm lazy.I was going absouluty nuts grabbed a knife(dull) and slashed till I drew blood

    it was scary
     
  4. SweetTearsOfDeath

    SweetTearsOfDeath Well-Known Member

    Yes I do. It was in the begining of the eighth grade. I am currently a sophomore in highschool. I was the outcast of the school and no one liked me. I don't know why though. I wore a little black but mainly white and grey. Kids started calling me emo when I starting parting my dark hair on the side rather than in the middle. I didn't know what emo was at the time. I was almost crying when I got home so I decided to do a search... I was unhappy with the results. A few weeks later I was molested. I felt so dirty and unhappy in my own skin and I thought of what everyone called me. I had a collection of safty pins so I pulled one out and stabbed my thigh. When I noticed it didn't hurt that bad, I started to make little lines of cuts. Though, at the time that wasn't good enough so I ventured into the kitchen and got the sharpest knife we had. Held it up to my skin and began to cut through the layers.. I still have scars, even though I did not cut too deep. Ever sinse then I cut whenever I feel like it... It eats me from the inside out.
    -Kate.
     
  5. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Can't exactly remember when it was, but I think I have a fairly vague idea of when it started...

    I don't know what gave me the idea. I'm pretty sure I just wanted a distraction. The physical pain would keep me 'occupied' while I tried to deal with what ever emotions I had.

    I actually started straight on my wrists....right where the artery splits up into the different veins. Not long after I started this(only like a week or two) I planned on going 'all the way'(commit suicide), using this method. Obviously nothing came of it. At that time it was winter and I was wearing a jumper all the time while I was at home. It was when I raised my hand up and the sleeve fell down that I think mum caught a glimpse of something on my wrist....she walked over to me(I was sitting down) and said, "What's that on your wrist??" Me: "What???..." She then grabbed my arm and tried to twist it to see. I clenched my hand but she ended up moving my arm and she found out. She was like, "You know you can talk to me about these things!" Or it might have been something like, don't do stuff like that talk to me. I can't really remember. Fact is I can't talk to her about this crap. One thing I've learned over time is that no one can help you. Or make it better, because they'll never understand. They only bombard you with that stupid generic shit which makes things even more triggering and/or aggravating.
     
  6. Delia

    Delia New Member

    I remember mine. I don't exactly know when it was, but I used scissors. I would like to say that I had a good reason, but it wouldn't be true.
    Being curious brought me to all this, if I am honest.
    The scissors didn't bring anything, but a start.
     
  7. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    I was a Freshman in high school. And I did it basically all the time from then until about 7-8 months ago. I've only cut once in 8 months.
     
  8. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I was about 12, maybe a little younger. I used a pair of compasses, on my wrist. The first one wasn't deep, and hardly bled, but I still have the scar, 13 years later. I only cut my wrist twice, before moving on to my arm, and then my legs.

    Mim
     
  9. Orion4

    Orion4 Member

    This past November. I took a dull scalpel which didn't do much and that was my method for the first couple times. I remember my (then) girlfriend at the time explaining a lot about cutting to me not too long before that. She had a lot of issues with cutting for several years and tried to scare me away from doing it and setting herself and her scars as an example as to not ever do it, but in return some of it only made it sound appealing to me. I've only cut 3 or 4 times, but I don't think that matters or makes a difference. The last time I did it scared the hell out of me though.
     
  10. theaterfreak

    theaterfreak Well-Known Member

    i had read about cutting in a magazine. there was so much going on in my life and alcohol wasn't helping at all. i wanted to find something that did.
     
  11. Stripe

    Stripe Well-Known Member

    I was about 13 or 14 in school and made a cut on my arm with a pencil sharpner I had dismantled specifically for the purpose of cutting myself.

    Not sure why I did it. I had not heard about self harm at that age.
     
  12. Michaelem.Ira

    Michaelem.Ira New Member

    About 8th grade I think, so about 5 years. I never wanted to hurt myself, I just liked bleeding a lot so I got myself some box cutter blades.
     
  13. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    I was 17. I had been having urges to hurt myself for a while. I was quite scared to do so, so it wasn't a particular deep cut. No more than a scratch. But as the story goes, that escalated.
     
  14. Ozzy Manson

    Ozzy Manson Well-Known Member

    4th grade...i was maybe 9. i'd just had enough of the hurt at home and the hurt is still here today 6 years later. i've had times where i've stopped for a few months but i'm back in full swing now.. i used a pencil sharper, or rather the blade from it. i was in my room at home
     
  15. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    mine was 4 months ago, 15 at the time, i started with those big heavy duty staples. now i use edical scalpal with a endless suply of blades
     
  16. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i was 14 and used a razor blade. been cutting on and off since then. i'm 45 now.
     
  17. Oloriel

    Oloriel Well-Known Member

    I remember very well, though I don't remember exactly when it was. Ninth grade I think. My cutting is strange to me because I remember I didn't first begin cutting for the pain, but for the blood - the look and the taste of it. I remember my parents had been having a big fight, and I was just so tired of always having to hear it. Earlier that day I had swiped a broken razor blade of the kind used in hardware from my theatre class at school, and I very calmly went into the bathroom, locked the door, sterilized the blade, and made a small, deep cut in my ankle. I wasn't scared, but I wasn't confident enough to cut myself more than once. I had that little scar for so many years.
     
  18. Androgyny

    Androgyny Well-Known Member

    Yep. Life was shit, and I happened to get pinned by a transit officer without a ticket (LOOOONG story, I'm usually anal with tickets, so this was a rarity), anyway, I was tired, depressed, frustrated, angry... I'd just been crying to the officer who STILL gave me the fine anyway (wasn't crying to get out of it, just was at that stage emotionally)...

    I felt like I was about to explode. There was too fucking much going on and for some reason, I felt like hurting myself. I searched through my pockets to find something that might cut... I found a key. I pressed that key into my thigh as hard as possible and tore a small gash in my flesh. There was a bit of blood, but not too much. How much could I get out of a key tear?

    That was about 8 years ago.
     
  19. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    I was 8 or 9. I'd never heard of cutting and I'd never thought about it before it happened. I was angry at my little brother - which made me so upset at myself for being angry because he was just a little kid and I shouldn't have felt angry towards him. (Anger wasn't really allowed in my house - whenever I was angry my parents would tell me it was inappropriate and I had everything I could ask for, so I didn't deserve to feel that way) So I went up to my room and on impulse clawed at my skin with my fingernails until it bled. Something clicked in my brain, and I realized that when I scratched myself (or later burned/cut) my anger would disappear. It seemed like a perfect solution at the time..
     
  20. Jenn3

    Jenn3 Member

    It was in 7th grade.. After a girl ended up spreading rumors about me so all my "friends" left me. I still don't have many as a result, even though it's 3 years later. I was at my grandma's house, and I was so upset I just scratched and riped at my arm till it bled.
     
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