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Do you think of times when you were younger when you were happy?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by super_dave31, Jul 2, 2008.

  1. super_dave31

    super_dave31 Member

    Hi all

    Thoughts keep going through my head lately just contstant reminders of when i was young and.........ultimately........ happy.

    Like i look how shit my life is now and what a mess it is - and i look back to when i was a kid and it actually makes me a bit upset at times.

    Like i remember being 13 yrs or so old and going around my grandads house and just everything in life being fine, no problems and so on

    or going back even younger to when i was like 8 or 9 - a lot of weekend would be spent with my grand parents when both of them were alive - they would let us stay up late, treat us to any sort of food we wanted and generally the weeke ends were great as kids - just a very happy child hood
    and im not talking about them passing away (obviously that is upsetting, but i understand it is part of life) - its jsut i remember my happiness then and i just think what would they think of me now.......seeing what a complte fucking mess i am

    or ill see photos of when i was like a young age and think 'if only i knew what is around the corner' or....... 'i was 8 or 9 then, so it was only a few more years left before my life became what it is today'

    and in general i just cannot, cannot! believe my life has become like it is.

    And sometimes i drive past their old house...... it just pisses me off / upsets me.

    22 yrs old - Life fucked - i wonder what theyd make of it. i would be tempted to end my life - my dad even says when im determined aobut something i will make sure i see it through - i would be tempted just for the complete joke that is my life , the complete joke my life has become. but i will see how my life goes for now. and just see how i get along
  2. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    gawd i wish there were happier times when i was younger. i was severely depressed during my youth. congrats to those that did have a time to enjoy.
  3. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    i remember the day that my sister was born
    me being so happy because i bought her a present :]]]

    one of the happiest days of my life
  4. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    I don't really remember much of a happy childhood. It gets clouded over by the bad times. I remeber my bro being born and being really protective of him. Is this happy? i don't know coz it brings connotations that make it unhappy.

  5. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    the feelign at the time is happy i bet
    it doesnt matter if it connects to something unhappy
    just if you had a happy feeling before
  6. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    can't really remember what I felt when he wasw born tho. I only know was protective coz of photos and videos and what people told me.
  7. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    its a feeling that you care for him then
    and it should lead to happiness
    i guess :X
  8. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    yeah but more worry as well. i worry like hell about him...both of them.
  9. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    oh i see.
    well i dont know
    are you happy that you have people to worry about?
  10. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    I guess it is what I do best

  11. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    oh i see.
  12. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    There are some nice memories, but nostalgia isn't energising. I'm grateful for those memories. It seems you are too :smile:
  13. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It seems that's all I do these days, look back to when I was young and care free and happy. I'd give anything to go back there.
  14. Smashed__

    Smashed__ Well-Known Member

    I think of times when I was REALLY young. Simple, silly memories I do hold onto are clouded in lies.. and ultimatley make me worse thinking about what was true and good and what was just an act.
  15. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Sometimes I wish I could go back to childhood. But when I really look at it, I was never happy. Not happy like the happiness and peacefullness I've found in glimpses between the horrible day to day suicidal thinking.

    It was like since birth I just kept building everything up and now it's to the point where it's too much. Too much so I won't to die. But at times I get a quick feeling of what it would be like to let everything go. Let it ALL out. For good. Unload the backpack of problems. But I always hold on. They start to leave me and I grab onto them because they're all I know.