Do you think pro-con lists are a valid tool to make a decision?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ZombiePringle, Dec 13, 2010.


Pro-con list.. is it a valid way to make a decision?

Poll closed Mar 23, 2011.
  1. Yes, They are usually a good idea.

    5 vote(s)
  2. It might help... but might not.

    11 vote(s)
  3. No, that's a horrible idea.

    1 vote(s)
  4. No idea...

    2 vote(s)
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  1. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    I'm in the midst of kind of a bad situation.. Where I'm living is basically killing me as is my job (mainly the people there) And I'm not sure if just moving to a different house or actually moving from the city will be more beneficial to me... I know there is my daughter to consider but I really wouldn't be that far from her and I would make as many trips as possible to go see her. (a 3 hour drive is all) I just need to start thinking about whats best for me...and for my daughter (would my daughter be better off having a father that is just struggling to keep living that see's her all the time or a father that is actually happy but only see's her once a month or something for a couple days at a time)

    So I was thinking of maybe making a pro-con list. Is this a good idea or should figure this out some other way?
  2. LogDork

    LogDork Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I do a lot of thinking on paper. Sometimes lists, often broken into categories, and in the past have done that sort of pro/con list. Sometimes rolling the same ideas over and over in my head gets to be a loop, that I find I can get out of by being systematic on paper.
    Usually at some point the conflict of what I want to do needs balanced against what I should do, even if I know I wont like it...
    Heh, sometimes I decide to do what I want, damn the torpedoes.
  3. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Thats what I was thinking.. I have all this going through my head that I can't quite make sense of and i'm still no closer to figuring out what I want to do.. so I figure even though its a potentially life-altering decision it might be best to just get it down on paper and figure it out that way.
  4. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    This is definatly a good idea. I make lists all the time, even though I have a PC, laptop and smartphone, good old fasioned pen and paper lists seem to give ideas more meaning. However, just remember that making a pro-con list is just a tool to making your mind up and should be the definitive reason for making a decison.
  5. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    This is definitely a good idea. When writing things down, you may think of things that might otherwise be glossed over. It gives you a chance to consider all the factors.

  6. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Sure, they're good-- some people really write WAY too many lists and it just makes them even more confused, though...
  7. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Yeah I'm not the list writing type usually.. I typically just figure stuff out in my head.
  8. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    I think it can be a good idea, although i never bothered to make one.
  9. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    My therapist makes me write them all the time. I think they are really helpful.

    The trick is that you let yourself write down every pro and con, including ones you feel embarrassed of. For example, I tend to stick to non-emotional reasons, but these pros & cons are legit and important also.
  10. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    But if you're dead then what you want to do is better than what you should do. For example, if he should stay with his current job so he's close to his daughter and he ends up killing himself then it does him or her no good. Sometimes we have to listen to ourselves because no one else will. You can't focus all your attention on others and never give yourself any.

    In the ideal world every parent would be equally capable and responsible. But that's not how it's. Some parents need more time alone or away from their kids to cope. I'm sure that his daughter wants him to be happy or will when she gets older. Ironically, she'll WANT privacy when she's older. The question is how much him getting a different job and being away from her will hurt her in the long-term. If he stays and kills himself, she will blame him. If he leaves and she gets hurt by it she will blame him. Hard to say. Hard to win sometimes! But at least if he survives there's a chance for them to settle it. If he's dead then there's no chance at all.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 14, 2010
  11. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    I kind of agree with this. What matters the most I think is just their ability to carry through with a plan and keep the income flowing. I am not trying to say that the plan itself doesn't matter, though. Sometimes we don't have good information so we make a bad plan. Sometimes we're not thinking clearly so we make a bad plan. But we're not god, are we. And so on...
  12. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I have problems making them, but it might help
  13. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    i;ve done pros and cons before. it works every once in a while.
  14. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Children are resealant and if you sit her down and talk to her telling her you had to move due to your job she will probably understand..Make sure you have a job to go to before you make these changes..They are hard to find..
  15. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Yeah, I definitely plan on setting up a new job first. I made my decision actually. I'm moving to Nebraska.. I mean its only 3 hours away after all.... I will miss my daughter to death but... I just need to do this. Its best for me. I'm likely to end up just getting worse everyday if I don't do this...
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