Do you think suicide selfish?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Beautiful Disaster, Mar 15, 2009.

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  1. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    Yeah probably posting in the wrong section here :$

    anyhow, do you think suicide is selfish?

    Im having mixed feelings about it..

    * i wanted to make a poll but I am too stupid for that :p *
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Could be either/or on this. My initial feeling is yes, it is; but after having the feelings and made the plans and weighed the reasons, some of the guilt slips away, but I guess it still doesn't change the fact that we make the final decision; so I guess it still comes down to selfishness.
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I think it generally (note GENERALLY, but not always) brings out the selfishness in anyone involved. If someone is doing it to escape, or be free, or die, and doesn't care/think about the consequences to those around them, then yes, it's selfish. Equally, if someone you know is feeling suicidal, or trying to take their life, it can bring in the selfish element that they want that person to still be alive no matter how bad they feel.

    I've at times tried to take my life because I know people would be better off without me. That is not a selfish motive. Equally, there have been times when I've done it because I can't abide being here anymore, which is a very selfish motive.

    So yes, I think it can be, and I think it does bring out the selfishness of anyone involved, either directly involved, or indirectly.
  4. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    I once thought that suicide was one of the most selfish things that anyone could ever do but I realize now that I simply did not understand what it was all about. Sure the choice to actually commit is a personal decision but I don't think anyone chooses to be pushed into a position where that choice becomes the only option. Nobody grows up thinking they want to become a suicide victim. It's more a case of someone not being able to cope with a situation they have found themselves in. We do not choose to 'not be able to cope'
  5. bluebird002

    bluebird002 Active Member

    I tend to resent the psychological and physical restrictions put on suicide, but taking it as a relative thing, it probably can depend on the situation.

    say, Person A has a terminal illness that needs a lot of care, is in pain and the people close to them know they want to go, understand and do not object. I don't think that's selfish at all.

    Person B has dependents who needs and loves them (and I don't mean selfish and unhearing 'love') and would be very upset if they went - that can be selfish. Sucides that are about hurting people close to them more than anything else - that can be selfish.

    However, I think it can be weighed up by a person - if they suffer a lot and really, some people don't have a lot of value in life.
  6. love

    love New Member

    I think that it is not selfish. It's a very personal choice. When a person is born, he or she gets the rights to die as well, to choose his own death. I don't see a reason why suicide should be regarded as selfishness.
    Althought there are some obstacles why it could be regarded as it. I've heard people say that suicide hurts very much those, who have loved the person. When someone dies I can never be sure if I should cry or if I should not. It might be that after death person is more happy than he was while living, so that would be silly to feel sad about him. That's selfish to want somebody live, no matter if he or she would or would not want it.
    I wonder how often living is a very selfish choice.
  7. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    I think that if i decided i dont wanna live anymore and commit suicide my problems will be over..
    but it creates a big hole with the people i would leave behind.. on the other hand

    if i dont wanna live anymore should i stay around because others want me around? that would be selfish from their side..

    i dont know i guess
  8. danz

    danz Well-Known Member

    yes if you have people who will suffer when your gone!
    it sucks that you suffer alive to please others when it would be so much easier to vanish.
  9. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    I'm mixed too but i think people should try their very best, use all their resources, get all the help available, seek help from everyone , until really really cannot then I also cannot blame them but many already admit defeat before going all out to try.
  10. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter


    i agree
  11. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Suicides will never make sense. People who suffer through the urges, like us, can sit around and blame an external event like abuse, financial stress, relationship problems, or general social alienation... but it still doesn't make sense. People can survive something like the holocaust without suicide being an issue. :unsure: Hate to be the one in the mud, here. But we're all nuts. :blink:

    Suicides aren't selfish because people who commit suicide aren't thinking clearly. It's symptomatic of a disease. Perhaps we're just allergic to life and have a bad reaction. But suicide does destroy survivors. I can't think of anything more cruel to put family and friends through.
  12. Lovecraft

    Lovecraft Well-Known Member

    So the fact that more soldiers died of suicide than combat related reasons in Vietnam shows that most soldiers are nuts, or that trauma can damn well be the origin of suicidal intent?
  13. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    How poignant James. I think that will be my epitaph...'Claire, she was allergic to life'.

    Personally I don't think suicide is selfish, I know things will be better for everyone when I'm gone & I won't be missed. I believe what I'm eventually going to do is right by everyone.

    It feels like emotional blackmail when people say think of your family etc. Why should I stay here & be miserable just so the people left behind won't feel bad.

    Maybe if I wasn't suicidal then I'd think suicide was selfish but right now I don't.
  14. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member


    Please don't take what I said to be condemning. I'm a hypocrite, but not that much of a hypocrite. However, for as long as I've struggled against suicide - I also had to live through several suicides. It really fucks family members up.

    But I'm not condemning anybody. I write my opinions from my experience only. I know that one uncle blew his head off WHILE watching his four year old and eleven year old. The supposed reason --- he had failed a class at a community college. That is not a sane reaction. That little girl would not speak away from her mother for years. The eleven year old was put into psychiatric hospitals off an on for like five years. His wife had to pick up and sponge away his brain matter.

    Randy was in a bad spot. But yes, he did cause immense pain to his closest family. And if I was successful in my past attempts, if I am successful later down the road then I too will cause such suffering. Even if I choose a prettier way of dying. I only write from my experience. I know that when I become suicidal I socially and mentally fall apart. In my empirical experience I can not see freewill in suicide.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2009
  15. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    ... I haven't he highest opinion of the military or people that willingly join. I think most normal people who were drafted into the war would be a high risk profile for a psychotic breakdown. Yes, in essence, I think that soldiers who kill themselves are just as mentally unstable as housewives who commit suicide. Trauma can lead to a psychotic breakdown. And when a person loses the a good portion of their mentality they behave irrationally. But even if the war causes the stress that creates the breakdown, it's the breakdown that creates the suicide.
  16. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    I haven't :hug:.
  17. Lovecraft

    Lovecraft Well-Known Member

    So people in a normal state of mind can't think about suicide? The horribly ill patients and elderly people that just think life isn't worth it anymore are all just crazy? Nothing short of madness can overcome the self-preservation instinct?
  18. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    No. Everybody thinks about suicide at what point or another. Going so far as to act on that thought is a separate level. And having the drive to continue to hurt yourself in order to kill yourself is very different from just thinking about it. The elderly are the most suicidal. If you feel that life simply isn't worth it, then there's a very good chance you suffer from a mood disorder. Because most people say, "Money is horrible, but.... is really nice." Suicidal people say "It's all horrible and every possible outcome is horrible because even if don't have this thing stressing me out, I'll still be unhappy and suicidal."

    People who are terminally ill are almost always in constant pain. Particularly with cancer. Like over 90% of terminal patient say they're in pain. So again living with that pain for so long and knowing it leads to death is ripe grounds for a breakdown.

    Now keep in mind. This is just my view on suicide based on my experiences. I'm not preaching, but this is my experience with it. I mean for example, yesterday afternoon I was standing shirtless in my bathroom hacking through my arm to cut past the vein and maybe try to dig in there for the artery. That's not normal or good! Especially since now I'm neutral on the whole thing. So again, in my experience it's tied to psychotic episodes. And I don't mean to imply that I'm an expert.

    Also, I think euthanasia should be allowed for terminally ill patients. But I'm not yet convinced that people like me should be allowed to kill themselves.
  19. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    I think it's even more selfish of the people who love you who are like "STAY ALIVE FOR ME" Fuck off. They know damn well how miseralbe I am, it's selfish of THEM to make me stay alive. Fucking assholes.
  20. cuidado

    cuidado Member

    This summarizes my feelings perfectly! Some suicides ARE selfish, but suicide is not inherently selfish. Each case is different.

    I only consider suicide uniformly selfish when young children depend on you. In most cases, kids aren't self-sufficient enough or psychologically mature enough to make it through a parent's suicide without sustaining deep permanent trauma. Moreover, they didn't choose to depend on you -- they were just born into the situation. And it was YOU who put them there.

    But all other people -- whether they're spouses, friends or parents -- have no right to ask anyone to endure day after day of misery for their own benefit. Each person has to feel that life is worth living for HIM/HERSELF.
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