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Do you think that a lot of therapists suck at helping people due to their own issues they're dealing with?

Aurelia

๐Ÿ”ถ๐Ÿ”ธโœด ๐Ÿ‘‘ โœด๐Ÿ”ธ๐Ÿ”ถ
#1
Let's be honest here. Most people go into the psychology field because they, themselves, have mental health issues, have had them in the past, or know someone who does. Now my question to you guys is: Do you feel that therapists who go into the psychology field often suck at their job because they don't even know how to help themselves? In my case, I'm going into the field because of my own personal issues, but I also know how to be analytical, self-reflective, as unbiased as possible, and introspective. Thus, I don't feel as though this is an issue in my particular case. The more I learn about psychology (and that IS how I look at it, mind you, a matter of learning and being curious to learn even more on your own time, more so than simply getting that degree or license), the more I become confident in my abilities to help others, despite my own problems. I would be that therapist who would make my clients feel 100% safe talking about anything, suicide/crime included, and I do mean absolutely anything. Because guess what, feeling like you're in a safe, non-judgmental environment (for once in your life) helps build the client-therapist relationship the most. And that relationship and trust is absolutely essential to the client getting better and feeling safe enough to open up. I would also be one of those therapists who employ an actual treatment plan, an individualized one, based on the client's needs--not my own. So again I ask, do you think that therapists who go into the field with mental health issues mostly just take the easy way out to get a paycheck because they don't truly know how to help anyone? Because I do.
 

Auri

๐ŸŽธ๐ŸŽผRock Star๐ŸŽผ๐ŸŽธ
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#3
Pretty sure it happens. Some may suck at it if they haven't dealt with their own issues properly (say, they got their diagnosis wrong, or they aren't that introspective, etc.), while I'm pretty sure it helps many others who have those skills to be better therapists, the same way as you. :)
 

Aurelia

๐Ÿ”ถ๐Ÿ”ธโœด ๐Ÿ‘‘ โœด๐Ÿ”ธ๐Ÿ”ถ
#4
Pretty sure it happens. Some may suck at it if they haven't dealt with their own issues properly (say, they got their diagnosis wrong, or they aren't that introspective, etc.), while I'm pretty sure it helps many others who have those skills to be better therapists, the same way as you. :)
I've met a couple very intelligent ones that did know what they were talking about. And even one who admitted that she had no clue what REBT was when I mentioned it, but still made the effort to find out more about it in order to help me, so I kept her for a while. Only reason we lost contact was because I had no money to pay her, or the others. But other than that, there are definitely some good ones out there, whether it's someone who already knows how to help you or someone willing to go out of their way to figure out how to help you. In my opinion, both types are a rare gem.
 

Always Hopeless

Well-Known Member
#5
Let's be honest here. Most people go into the psychology field because they, themselves, have mental health issues, have had them in the past, or know someone who does. Now my question to you guys is: Do you feel that therapists who go into the psychology field often suck at their job because they don't even know how to help themselves? In my case, I'm going into the field because of my own personal issues, but I also know how to be analytical, self-reflective, as unbiased as possible, and introspective. Thus, I don't feel as though this is an issue in my particular case. The more I learn about psychology (and that IS how I look at it, mind you, a matter of learning and being curious to learn even more on your own time, more so than simply getting that degree or license), the more I become confident in my abilities to help others, despite my own problems. I would be that therapist who would make my clients feel 100% safe talking about anything, suicide/crime included, and I do mean absolutely anything. Because guess what, feeling like you're in a safe, non-judgmental environment (for once in your life) helps build the client-therapist relationship the most. And that relationship and trust is absolutely essential to the client getting better and feeling safe enough to open up. I would also be one of those therapists who employ an actual treatment plan, an individualized one, based on the client's needs--not my own. So again I ask, do you think that therapists who go into the field with mental health issues mostly just take the easy way out to get a paycheck because they don't truly know how to help anyone? Because I do.
In my experience therapists and psychologists are shit because they haven't been through our struggles and only understand what they've read in textbooks and class lectures.
 
#6
In my experience therapists and psychologists are shit because they haven't been through our struggles and only understand what they've read in textbooks and class lectures.
I have that general perception too, although I've only been to a councelor not a psychologist. Actually she did say she did therapy too but she spoke to me in a councellor role. She was awful, looked bored to death the whole time and just said in a monotone voice "well that's sad" when I said about feeling hopeless and when she asked if I ever considered self-harming I had a feeling she wouldn't be sympathetic so I lied and said "no, not since I was younger" and she replied "well younger people are more dramatic" :mad: dramatic?! she had no skills to be a councelor/therapist at all
 

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#7
Although some may not know how to help themselves, that may be because they could still be trying to find a way to process sucessfully whatever issues they may have. In one respect though, those with or have had issues can conceivably give them an edge as they have the advantage of having an insight into matters which may not be provided by textbooks, lectures etc.
Whether some goes into that profession to just pick up a paycheck is a concept which can be attributed to any field. Reasons could be many, varying from incompetence, a couldn't give a shit attitude, or even just being numbed out over time. One may at first approach the job with passion and dedication. However over time that can so easily become diluted until they become almost robotic in nature, adopting an algorithmic approach as opposed to one pertaining towards the individual.
So how they perform, I would say would be an individual matter, depending on whatever variables happen to be influencing them.
 

Always Hopeless

Well-Known Member
#8
I have that general perception too, although I've only been to a councelor not a psychologist. Actually she did say she did therapy too but she spoke to me in a councellor role. She was awful, looked bored to death the whole time and just said in a monotone voice "well that's sad" when I said about feeling hopeless and when she asked if I ever considered self-harming I had a feeling she wouldn't be sympathetic so I lied and said "no, not since I was younger" and she replied "well younger people are more dramatic" :mad: dramatic?! she had no skills to be a councelor/therapist at all

A doctor, when I was a teenager, told me that it was all hormones and that I'll basically grow out of it.

Years later I'm suffering from the worst depression I've ever had and things have never been as worse for me as they are now.

Let's face it. A decent therapist/doctor is rare. Most of these people don't know more than what they learn in their lectures and textbooks. What's worse is that they don't even care.
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#10
Let's be honest here. Most people go into the psychology field because they, themselves, have mental health issues, have had them in the past, or know someone who does. Now my question to you guys is: Do you feel that therapists who go into the psychology field often suck at their job because they don't even know how to help themselves? In my case, I'm going into the field because of my own personal issues, but I also know how to be analytical, self-reflective, as unbiased as possible, and introspective. Thus, I don't feel as though this is an issue in my particular case. The more I learn about psychology (and that IS how I look at it, mind you, a matter of learning and being curious to learn even more on your own time, more so than simply getting that degree or license), the more I become confident in my abilities to help others, despite my own problems. I would be that therapist who would make my clients feel 100% safe talking about anything, suicide/crime included, and I do mean absolutely anything. Because guess what, feeling like you're in a safe, non-judgmental environment (for once in your life) helps build the client-therapist relationship the most. And that relationship and trust is absolutely essential to the client getting better and feeling safe enough to open up. I would also be one of those therapists who employ an actual treatment plan, an individualized one, based on the client's needs--not my own. So again I ask, do you think that therapists who go into the field with mental health issues mostly just take the easy way out to get a paycheck because they don't truly know how to help anyone? Because I do.
Would you say you have mental health issues? You say you're reflective, analytical and unbiased, but do you imagine all people who go into this field think the same things about themselves?

Do you know how to help yourself and that's what sets you apart from these other charlatans?
 

Aurelia

๐Ÿ”ถ๐Ÿ”ธโœด ๐Ÿ‘‘ โœด๐Ÿ”ธ๐Ÿ”ถ
#11
Would you say you have mental health issues? You say you're reflective, analytical and unbiased, but do you imagine all people who go into this field think the same things about themselves?

Do you know how to help yourself and that's what sets you apart from these other charlatans?
I do, technically, know what the best way to help myself would be. But there are several problems with implementing it in my case. Problem number one is that I need a therapist who understands REBT well enough to help me implement it and challenge me in areas where I need to be challenged. So far, I haven't been able to find any (who take my insurance, anyway). I need someone whom I trust enough to take their word for it when they tell me I need to do something (and can provide good, logical evidence as to why I need to do it because I can be stubborn). That's a very, very rare find in itself. Problem number two is that I'm in a very dangerous, delicate situation, which I need to be able to talk about without worrying about the repercussions. Because if there are things which I can't discuss at all, no one else can possibly help me. Hence, trust and building a good client-therapist relationship is absolutely essential. I probably need certain boundaries set, because I know I can be way too clingy and dependent. I need someone who recognizes these things and helps me tackle them head-on, whatever it takes, and someone who makes me feel safe talking about whatever.

Do I think that all people who go into this field think these things about themselves? A good portion of them do, I'm sure. Many of them aren't nearly as good as they think, however. I do think I have mental health problems, for sure. For some reason, I'm still able to think in a logical, unbiased manner when the situation calls for it. Not sure why, but it's been something I've been absolutely amazing at for a very long time. But despite the fact, I still need the help because knowing isn't enough. If you can't implement it, knowing is only going to get you so far.
 

Aurelia

๐Ÿ”ถ๐Ÿ”ธโœด ๐Ÿ‘‘ โœด๐Ÿ”ธ๐Ÿ”ถ
#12
what sets you apart from these other charlatans?
Besides being self-reflective and analytical, and all that, I would also have to say my creativity and ability to look at many different angles of a problem.

In my experience therapists and psychologists are shit because they haven't been through our struggles and only understand what they've read in textbooks and class lectures.
There's that too, yes. I agree with this as well. I think both things could certainly be an issue.
 

Aurelia

๐Ÿ”ถ๐Ÿ”ธโœด ๐Ÿ‘‘ โœด๐Ÿ”ธ๐Ÿ”ถ
#13
A doctor, when I was a teenager, told me that it was all hormones and that I'll basically grow out of it.

Years later I'm suffering from the worst depression I've ever had and things have never been as worse for me as they are now.

Let's face it. A decent therapist/doctor is rare. Most of these people don't know more than what they learn in their lectures and textbooks. What's worse is that they don't even care.
You're right, and to be honest, as a student of psychology, it's truly not even nearly enough what we learn from the textbooks from what I've seen. It's how far we're willing to go to do our own research, coupled with our own experiences, that matters most.

By the way, that doctor was a fucking idiot and a half.
 

Aurelia

๐Ÿ”ถ๐Ÿ”ธโœด ๐Ÿ‘‘ โœด๐Ÿ”ธ๐Ÿ”ถ
#14
Although some may not know how to help themselves, that may be because they could still be trying to find a way to process sucessfully whatever issues they may have. In one respect though, those with or have had issues can conceivably give them an edge as they have the advantage of having an insight into matters which may not be provided by textbooks, lectures etc.
Whether some goes into that profession to just pick up a paycheck is a concept which can be attributed to any field. Reasons could be many, varying from incompetence, a couldn't give a shit attitude, or even just being numbed out over time. One may at first approach the job with passion and dedication. However over time that can so easily become diluted until they become almost robotic in nature, adopting an algorithmic approach as opposed to one pertaining towards the individual.
So how they perform, I would say would be an individual matter, depending on whatever variables happen to be influencing them.
This is true, but as I've told you before, what I think will keep me on my game over time is the fact that I happen to like puzzles/challenges. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Plus, my own experience is something I could never forget, so giving someone half-assed help isn't something I think I could do.
 

Gonz

๐Ÿ‘ซโค๏ธ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ’Š๐Ÿš‘๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜ฅ
#16
The main issue Iโ€™ve found with therapists is an unwillingness or inability to look at individuals as such. Just use whatever treatment methodology is in fashion for a given diagnosis. Right now they seem to think cbt is the magic bullet for pretty much every issue, in a decade or two thereโ€™ll be some new therapeutic cure-all. And if the cookie-cutter treatment plan doesnโ€™t help you, itโ€™s because youโ€™re being uncooperative and not putting in the work.

Where that all comes from, I donโ€™t know.
 

Katie1984

Active Member
#17
Right now they seem to think cbt is the magic bullet for pretty much every issue, in a decade or two thereโ€™ll be some new therapeutic cure-all. And if the cookie-cutter treatment plan doesnโ€™t help you, itโ€™s because youโ€™re being uncooperative and not putting in the work.
100% this. CBT doesn't work for me yet it's somehow my fault for "not doing it enough"
I tried it, I tried it a lot and it just made me worse as I made me overthink which brings back memories and then bleugh.

Which should be fine, not everything works for everyone. But that's not what they think. If CBT doesn't work they just sorta shrug.
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#18
I do, technically, know what the best way to help myself would be. But there are several problems with implementing it in my case. Problem number one is that I need a therapist who understands REBT well enough to help me implement it and challenge me in areas where I need to be challenged. So far, I haven't been able to find any (who take my insurance, anyway). I need someone whom I trust enough to take their word for it when they tell me I need to do something (and can provide good, logical evidence as to why I need to do it because I can be stubborn). That's a very, very rare find in itself. Problem number two is that I'm in a very dangerous, delicate situation, which I need to be able to talk about without worrying about the repercussions. Because if there are things which I can't discuss at all, no one else can possibly help me. Hence, trust and building a good client-therapist relationship is absolutely essential. I probably need certain boundaries set, because I know I can be way too clingy and dependent. I need someone who recognizes these things and helps me tackle them head-on, whatever it takes, and someone who makes me feel safe talking about whatever.

Do I think that all people who go into this field think these things about themselves? A good portion of them do, I'm sure. Many of them aren't nearly as good as they think, however. I do think I have mental health problems, for sure. For some reason, I'm still able to think in a logical, unbiased manner when the situation calls for it. Not sure why, but it's been something I've been absolutely amazing at for a very long time. But despite the fact, I still need the help because knowing isn't enough. If you can't implement it, knowing is only going to get you so far.
From the sounds of it, you're training to become a psychotherapist, correct? As part of that training, have you already done much practice with those simulated therapy sessions where they deliberately give you a "difficult" client?

I'm not at all suggesting you don't have the attributes you state but be cautious of having too much certainty. In relation to other people practicing in the field you say "Many of them aren't nearly as good as they think". Why are you as good as you think? People have a tendency to overestimate themselves, e.g. the elderly man who thinks he's an excellent driver but is a hazard on the road, or the woman who reads a book about the stock market and is ready to compete with a professional stockbroker.

Competence in any field is something that has to be built over time & with a wide range of experience. I had a natural aptitude for programming, just as you seem to have a natural aptitude for this profession, but in the 10 years I've been coding I admit I only reached a pretty good competence level after 5 years & tons of mistakes. Even at that, with the pace of ever changing frameworks, I still get bouts of "imposter syndrome" when it's taking me forever to get something to work. I know I'm not telling you anything new, but if psychotherapy is something you would like to practice professionally, give yourself a chance to grow into it and remember that it takes time to really hone your existing abilities into true skills. Overestimating oneself early can set one up for disillusionment and a lot of wear and tear on confidence. It sounds like you've already got the right combo of personal attributes and a genuine interest in the field & you can't get a much better starting point than that.
 

Lumos

Well-Known Member
#19
It depends if they've read and experienced enough and have empathy. These things are important. Someone who's only done CBT is not gonna cut it. They have to have read all about trauma responses, everything, from the basics to the really complex stuff. Only then can they ever be a good therapist.
 

Aurelia

๐Ÿ”ถ๐Ÿ”ธโœด ๐Ÿ‘‘ โœด๐Ÿ”ธ๐Ÿ”ถ
#20
From the sounds of it, you're training to become a psychotherapist, correct? As part of that training, have you already done much practice with those simulated therapy sessions where they deliberately give you a "difficult" client?

I'm not at all suggesting you don't have the attributes you state but be cautious of having too much certainty. In relation to other people practicing in the field you say "Many of them aren't nearly as good as they think". Why are you as good as you think? People have a tendency to overestimate themselves, e.g. the elderly man who thinks he's an excellent driver but is a hazard on the road, or the woman who reads a book about the stock market and is ready to compete with a professional stockbroker.

Competence in any field is something that has to be built over time & with a wide range of experience. I had a natural aptitude for programming, just as you seem to have a natural aptitude for this profession, but in the 10 years I've been coding I admit I only reached a pretty good competence level after 5 years & tons of mistakes. Even at that, with the pace of ever changing frameworks, I still get bouts of "imposter syndrome" when it's taking me forever to get something to work. I know I'm not telling you anything new, but if psychotherapy is something you would like to practice professionally, give yourself a chance to grow into it and remember that it takes time to really hone your existing abilities into true skills. Overestimating oneself early can set one up for disillusionment and a lot of wear and tear on confidence. It sounds like you've already got the right combo of personal attributes and a genuine interest in the field & you can't get a much better starting point than that.
What I'm saying is I do have the skills that I'm claiming I have. How do I know? I've been told before, and it's just something that I've always known about myself. It's a confidence I've always had. I'm not too confident in certain other areas, but when it comes to critical thinking and analysis, and learning, I've always been pretty confident. And I have this (at times, quite irritating) tendency to try to be the best and the smartest and get perfect grades. And usually, I do. Just how I've always been. I'm not saying there isn't room for improvement. Of course, there is. Anyone who says there isn't, is automatically an impostor. There will always be something new to learn and there will always be someone out there better and smarter than you. I know that. There are some people here who l, personally, think are smarter than I am. But with that said, I do think I have what it takes to be successful in this profession, despite the BPD and whatever else it is I have at this point. Trust me, I'm not overconfident in my abilities. Just confident.
 

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