Do you think that suicide attempts..even one in a person's life can change a person irreversibly i.e change the person that they are forever, even maybe having an impact on the structure or future development of the brain? I have been thinking about this alot today as I have made probably over 50 attempts in my life and I know that each one was a trauma in itself. My first attempt was at 13, I then began attempting them later into my adulthood. I suffer with Bipolar and have done for 7 years and I have found that my life has never really moved forward, ive lost many jobs, a home and two relationships in that time. I am now back at square one and feel even more hopeless than when I was a child....everyone else in my life just seems to get on with life and seem to be making alot more progress than me so I wonder that if it isnt the Bipolar thats held me back all these years, whether it was the contact fascination with killing myself.....what do you think?