Do you think you are worthy of your friends?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Perfect Melancholy, Jul 18, 2010.


Do you feel worthy of your friends?

Poll closed Apr 12, 2013.
  1. Yes I am a great person to know

    7 vote(s)
  2. No they want something out of me

    3 vote(s)
  3. I do not have any "real friends"

    15 vote(s)
  4. My friends only like me when I am happy

    9 vote(s)
  5. My friends have no idea what I am really like

    14 vote(s)
  6. Rich be my friend!!!

    3 vote(s)
  7. What's a friend?

    6 vote(s)
  8. Dude way to many options no wonder you have no friends....

    1 vote(s)
Multiple votes are allowed.
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  1. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    See I was thinking about this one earlier, and I think to myself a lot the only reason people talk to me is because they want something out of me, sadly this has been the instance once to often. This has left my confidence shot to pieces I was just curious to see what other people thought?

    Do you think you are worthy of friends, do you think you have any really. Or do you think there has to be a reason for them being friends with you?
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    First of all I have to say I really like the idea of this thread, very thought provoking especially since so many of us here have self worth issue, I know I do.

    Out of silliness I picked "Rich will you be my friend" but in reality my answer is somewhere between my friends don't really know who I am and I don't have any real friends.

    A lot of this is self chosen and due to my on again off again social moods that I get into. I think I really wish that I had a boyfriend to share life with rather than friends to buy time with but alas without friends I overburden my boyfriends and they soon leave.

    Anyhow that was a bit off subject. In many ways I do feel worthy of my friends, especially the ones here as I feel we all know the inner truths about each other and I for one embrace and care about all of you so in that sense I feel that my genuine love and caring is worthy of my friends here...

    Thanks for the thought provoking thread I like it..

    Love B
  3. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I don't think that was of topic at all it makes sense, I have been thinking about it all weekend, and I really do believe that people only like me for a purpose like they want something out of me and not to know me, I wonder how you change that train of thought, I guess confidence is one things but then sometimes I can act overconfident, again rambling sorry these thoughts are spilling out at the moment!
  4. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I guess on a certain level we all want something for ourselves when it comes to friends...I want to feel connected, like I a matter so on a certain level my friendship is self serving.
    But the truth of it is for me is that the connected feeling is where the love of friendship lies and where the beauty is
    For me it is a dance...sometimes I am asking how a friend is simply to keep the friendship going and sometimes I really care but on both levels I care about the friendship and the person, does that make sense?

    I have to say I was surprised to hear you say that you feel people don't really want to get to know you as I for one have been watching your posts and have thought what a wonderful person you are me getting to know someone and that "connectedness" is what is all about ...I know for one that when I "hide" who I am a bit I get the feeling that I am not really liked for who I am but then again I am not fully being myself. It is hard in this day and age to make true bonds of friendship as everyone is on the go and have so much on their plate it seems...well I did mean what I said in the poll about being friends so feel free to write to me anytime I would love to get to know someone like you seem like the type I would be friends with in real life.
    Love B
  5. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    People are usually only friends with me when they want something from me or because they pity me. So really they're only pretending. Of those few few 'friends' I do have I don't really care much about because of the way they've treated me and acted around me. I don't contact them willingly and most of them I now only talk to once every six months or so. There's only one friend I talk to regularly but it always feels like he's only talking to me because he has nothing better to do. :unsure:
  6. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    That one line struck out for me because it made me think, should "we" contact them more, because they are unaware our lack of confidence stops us even the anxiety that we are wasting there time. So they might not think we care, when actually it is the complete opposite, I am thinking out loud here just a thought, do you see where I am coming from Avarice? Or am I wrong, feel free to tell me if I am!
  7. overandover

    overandover Member

    i push any friend away once i start getting too close to them because i never feel like i deserve them.
  8. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I don't have anyone close in real life. I have lots of friends, but i only see them about every six months. They are good people but they mostly drink and go out into the city which i am not comfortable with. They know i never come out so don't ask anymore, but are always extremely happy to see me when i do.

    The only person i still see on a regular basis is my ex.

    So no, i guess i don't see myself as worthy as i am not really a very good friend. My illness leaves me very unreliable.
  9. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Why do you think you talk to people who clearly do not give a shit about you?

    I've felt very similar throughout the years. I think it really depends on who you're friends with- if you're offering support, and you're naturally friendly and interested in talking about their lives- they will want that. If you don't put yourself in that position- you won't be taken advantage of, intentionally/unintentionally.

    If you find your "friends" have no interest in knowing you, or listening to your feelings- then that can wear down your confidence, patience and start asking what's the point?

    What is the point in having such friendships?

    As for your poll-I do care about the people I talk to a lot, and I just can't help that. Are they are a real friend to me? I'm not entirely sure.
  10. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I think it was more me questioning why people are friends with people, in the real world, I agree I care about people no matter how they treat me, I will always be there for them. Because at the end of the day, they might need somebody badly, but I question motives, like what do I have to offer friendships am I actually a nice person etc. And I kinda got curious and thought I would throw it out there, to see what peoples experiences are. if that makes sense
  11. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Okay, yeah, that is a good question, and one that I've thought about for years and years.

    I think maybe when you feel more confident- things can get a lot clearer when it comes to the friendships you have and how they're working at the moment.
  12. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    I have one friend who only calls me and hangs out with me when she wants something from me or when she needs something and tries to manipulate me... and it pisses me off cause she done for years over 20 years we been frineds and she has played me like a smuck most of the time... i feel stupid cause she owes me a shit load of money that i know i will never see...yet im still friends with fuckin dumb am i...
  13. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    No one really knows who I am.

    I have one real friend. We don't talk a shit load and he seems to accept that I'm a generally quiet person. He isn't a complete fuck stick like most of the kids at school. Probly why he's the only person I've kept in touch with since we left primary school.
  14. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    The only friends I have are the ones I have made here,..As far as friends here where I live I pushed them away along time ago..I'm not sorry because they were loosers and I didn't need that in my life.. I have enough problems as it is..So I will stay with the ones I know from the forum..
  15. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    It gets confusing who is an acquaintance and who is a friend but the people I can really consider true friends are all depression and OCD sufferers so we relate to and support each other. I am a loyal and helpful friend so when I am doing relatively well I feel worthy of them but when depressed I feel horrible about myself and hated.
  16. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I chose "My friends only like me when I am happy" and "My friends have no idea what I am really like", as I feel that for me these are closely tied. As no-one knows what's going on with me, they can't deal with me when I'm particularly down and can't pretend anymore. So they back off and leave me alone, which hurts.

    However, I also picked that I'm a great friend, because when I do have good friends I go to extremes to ensure that they are happy. It's far more important to me that my friends are happy than my own happiness.

  17. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    They don't deserve me!
  18. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    I have really great friends... But only to hang out with and talk about superficial stuff with. They keep me alive most of the time because the thought of making them deal with my suicide is unfair... But they have NO idea what I'm really like.
  19. infiniti1027

    infiniti1027 Member

    I'm rapid cycling Bipolar II and Borderline. When I am "strong" and happy, I am extremely codependent and eager to help people and do for people and they are eager to take advantage of me. It doesn't seem like anyone really likes me for me, but I know I tend to be overpowering and controlling.

    When I am down and depressed, who the hell wants to be around that, and no one wants to take care of ME in that state, so then I am alone and depressed and have no real friends.

    I have no one with whom I really connect, no one who really understands me and appreciates me for who I really am, understands my problems and is there for me through thick and thin, doesn't take advantage of me during my good times and is there for me during my bad times.

    I have NO ONE in my life at all right now. NO ONE. I don't want people anymore who just want from me in the good times, and no one wants me in the bad times. So this is my life. Alone.

    And I don't know how much longer I can live this way.
  20. thrillseeker

    thrillseeker Active Member

    I chose What's a friend?

    No tell me, what the fuck is a friend? I really don't know... My friends are someone that's there to leech off of free bottle service while they sit their with you with a fake smile then leave when the drinks are gone.. Someone who says they are always there for you, then when you really need help, they blow you off for a BBQ... People you've known all of your life, then you find out they are spreading rumors about you because they're jealous...

    There are no friends in this world because at the end of the day, people look in the mirror, and that's ALL that matters to them. There's family too, but I don't know what that is either...

    Why in the hell do you have to be worthy for someone else? Are you taking advantage of them and lying to them? If so then fuck you. The answer is, no you're not worthy... you're not even worthy of being a decent human being.

    If you are there for them, and they aren't for you. They're fucks that are users and will use "naive" (that's what's on their mind) and genuine people for their own gains... Greed controls this world and money is what is on most peoples minds... I've spent thousands (and invested a great deal of personal time, deep feelings with, etc.) on people and and can't even remember anyone giving me anything without strings attached, or that didn't expect something in return. Fuck people...
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 20, 2010
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