Do you visualise yourself committing suicide?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by venus, Feb 5, 2014.

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  1. venus

    venus Member

    So, here's the thing ....

    I frequently visualise myself committing suicide
    Often when I lay down to sleep and close my eyes, this I can deal with

    But, I struggle when it happens when I'm sitting in the office at my desk or worse when I'm in a meeting with other people around me

    I don't mind these scenes running through my head, I quite like it knowing that my way out is just there and I just need to follow it through

    I wondered if anyone else has this visualisation going on and what you feel about it

    Venus xx
  2. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Hey, how are you?
    Yes i picture myself commuting suicide sometimes, but I think it's important to talk with someone about it.
    It helps me a lot :)
    Hope you feeling okay :)
  3. Tyger1

    Tyger1 New Member

    Yes, recently I have had constant thoughts of suicide and I visualize what I would do and what it would feel like to die. I am sometimes distracted from these thoughts when someone talks to me, but otherwise they are always there, even when I am at work.
  4. BB_dunb

    BB_dunb Member

    No, I only think about.
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Yeah, most of the time. That's why I have to keep distracting myself to try and keep the thoughts at bay.
  6. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    Yes Venus I have that visualisation too - it makes me feel empowered - the fact I am in control & any time I wish I can commit suicide - Like you Venus I constantly go through the various scenarios in my mind how I would do it - I wont go into specifics here as 1)it could trigger someone else and 2)I don't want admin to censor anything I post and have reason to ip ban me - at work I just take a break to be on my own - I just "go out for a smoke" though actually I don't smoke - I just use that as an excuse to my line manager lol
  7. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Not really. It is just a means to an end and, if you do happen to die, then you will not even remember your life, so being fixated on a plan is rather pointless to me.
  8. venus

    venus Member

    Ah ha ... this is what I was hoping for ... it makes me feel empowered
    It makes me feel like I am in control and I feel like when things get so bad [and they have] I know that I am ready because I've been through it so many times

    The only thing is when the pictures jump into your mind when you really don't want them there

  9. venus

    venus Member

    Because I have attempted, I know part of what it feels like, without going into detail here

    And, I wonder if these visualisations are actually good for me, and I'm struggling to explain this ...
    if I know how it will feel and to me it feels good to be in control is this becoming a drug and I almost need more

    OK - see I didn't explain that very well did I?

  10. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    I agree that to visualize and plan is empowering. At times it is almost an addictive feeling with constant thoughts. But then things get ok and I don't need to obsess with suicide. So I wouldn't worry about them being addictive but they can be very distracting.
  11. Insomniac2012

    Insomniac2012 Member

    I visualize in detail from 1st and 3rd person point of view every night before I sleep. And when I am awake, literally everything I do I think about what someone would think if I committed suicide later that day. Like if I hold a door for someone random and they look at me, would they think of that moment if they heard about it. I constantly think about how it would effect other people...
  12. mitty

    mitty Member


    this happens to me.. a lot more recently than ever..

    i find myself scoping out wherever i am.. looking for the "perfect out" ... my head running through different scenarios and finding flaws in them ... i.e i was with my parents... being driven to the hospital for another investigation appointment.. when i noticed an old viaduct bridge about a mile in the distance... it stretches over a length of railway line... and my mind started running through how i could get there... what time day would be best... and what i would need to get up there.... then it started looking for flaws... and i finally ruled that out as an option as i dont think the height of the bridge would be enough to actually kill me...probably just break my legs etc...

    it scares me more than anything that my mind is actually running through all this.. without me actively having to think about it.
  13. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member


    i do this (and it's not just visualising it)

    sometimes i hear sounds that may go along with it

    it's very vivid
  14. Sais

    Sais Well-Known Member

    Yes, and it helps. Helps NOT to do it, for a while.
  15. whybother2014

    whybother2014 Member

    Yes, but only because I want to visualize the method, not because of any perverse pleasure for drama.
  16. Previously when I was suicidal I always visualize how to commit suicide and even rehearse it at home. I went to get myself admitted into the hospital to keep myself safe. Keep talking to the psychiatrist, social workers and counsellors.

    You need to find a counsellor to talk to about your visualization. Take care and stay safe.
  17. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Yep, I visualize myself committing suicide too. I do it in the hopes it will make it easier to do. So far, thankfully, it has not worked.
  18. Lonely83

    Lonely83 Active Member

    Sometimes I would picture the scene play in front of me esp when I was trying to fall asleep, and I feel RELIEF knowing that I won't need to suffer anymore if I just do it one day.
  19. Chadaho

    Chadaho Member

    Yes I do. On a daily basis many times, over and over.
  20. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I've seen myself taking my life many times.....
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