There is a huge, ugly hole in my life where a child should be. My partner of 12 years (I guess I should say "wife"... we married last June) finally decided that she too is ready to adopt, but I don't know when we will be in a position again to afford it. The first 8 years of our relationship, the bills were always paid on time and we had a nice cushion in savings, but Honey wasn't ready to bring a child into the family. Now she's finally ready, but we have no savings, living paycheck to paycheck and scrambling to keep up with bills. I'm also fairly certain at this point that my history of depression and suicide attempts will disqualify us. It's sad, because we have so much love to give a child who needs it... but it probably will never be.